the beginning of time and space, yasmine a griffin [red white and royal blue hardcover TXT] 📗

Time before I have cried in this god awful place I have to call home. I wouldn't be so sad if my horrible mother would'nt have done this to me. To think I used to be a normal child like everyone else is hard to believe if you ever seen me. living my life is hard to . I watch every one see me but not the real me not th person i am on the in side. The only thing they see is someone who is weird looking and not all that pretty either. Boys are repalsed to see me so I hide on my way to school and during school.I feel bad when i go to school. My parents have absolutely no idea how i feel. They think its normal for teens to feel like crap.And to make matters worse, every time I look in the mirror it's like someone or some thing is looking right back at me. I know this sounds so stupid crazy,but I can't help but feel there is something of a higher purpose going on with me. Not just the teen feelings but something more than that is not normal. Something is going on . I ask my parents what I was like when I was younger but they tell me the same old thing" You were a complete angel" my mom says in her baby voice. I can't believe them they are leaving something out that they don't want me to know. I can feel that much. Everyone is against me but one person and that person is Dustin, my boyfriend . He is just like me but in boy form . We always tell each other everything . I am his and he is mine that is all i need. We can help each other in ways I never thought possible . Not just in the unnormal sense but also the teenager sense. We have nice romantic times that make it so hard to remember that we are not normal. Some things been happening lately that is putting Dustin in deep pain and trouble. He can't tell me anything because he will die. So where does that leave me .I have no idea but i have to find away.
chapter 1

"Wake up Clore!" i hear my mom yell. Push myself off the bed and walk drousily to my bathroom. I jump in the shower hopping to wash away the horrible dream last night. The same reoccuring dream that I can never get out of my head.I close my eyes feeeling the painfully hot water beat on my scared body.I wrap myself up when I feel clean enough and walk to my over size mirror.I can't even look straight into the mirror.I feel like a monster.I have knee legnth midnight blackish blue hair,freckles all over my face,to close together greeen gayish eyes, and to add on to the hidiousness of my body I'm 5"10".Most people agree with me that I'm ugly, so I don't question if I am any more. I'm a monsteruos looking person and can never escape that part of me.
I get dress in my normal dark emo outfit as usaul. Black tee, jeans, and blue hightop convers.No one will pay attention to me.Knowing what lay a head of me at school I feel my day start to darken like a sickening storm that hangs over my head. I can't run away or move away. I'm stuck.
Running down stairs to catch breakfast, I over hear my mother and father speaking."She is turning eighteen in 2 months. The glamour will wear off.and you do know that when it does she can no longer live here. She will have to move to the Academy of Tigerous,"I could hear my mothers's strangled cry,"no crying! You knew the that when she turned a certain age she would have to leave. Don't you see Cathryn if Cloreiana stays here we will die and she will die. this is to protect her and us." I could tell mom was ageeing with him when I heard hmy father's satisfied sigh.
I could hear footsteps coming so I walked on down to the kitchen,making as much noise as I could , to give them a heads up that I was coming. Once I was fully in the living room, my mother horridly riped her eyes and ran over to me. She started sufficating me with a strangling hug ,and all the while greeting me with'good mornings and did you have a good sleep'.Of course I lied and said I had a marvilous sleep.I tried to act as normal as possible, so my parents wouldn't suspect I heard their conversation,but it was killing me to hold all of these questions in. My mother kept on looking at me worryingly when she didn't think I was looking and my dad look at hera nd shook his head. Finally I could not handle it anymore, and made an escues saying I had to get to school when I knew I was in no hurry to get to there.
CHAPTER 2
I walked slowly down the side walk. A million questions were swarminng around my head.What were they talking about when they said that the glamour would wear off? I always thought that kind of thing only belong tofairy tales.One more question nagged at me like a bumble bee sting. Why were they even discussing that they were sending me off to a bording school?I tried so hard to repress the questions as best as possible, but I couldn't focuse on anything but the conversation my father and my mother was had.
By the time I finally looked up, I was at school. I looked around the vacant parking lot for my heart and soul. My boyfriens is Dustin. He is everything to me. He saw me for me and not for my appearance. He is everything important to me and more.lately, though, he has been pushing me away and always look like he is in pain around me.
I found him sitting under a tree in the middle of the parking lot.I swiftly walked over him and sat down quietlyy next to him. I looked out the corner of my eye to see if he noticed I was there.He sure did notice me and was not to happy to either. Chloreiana, I can't do this any more. We can't be together. You're ugly, low self-esteemed , and you disgust me. We are over anddon't start crying either cause it will do no good," he said icily.I couldn't believe what I was hearing,b ut it was easy to believe though.
I looked away because I knew I was crying and I could not stop them from cacadind down my cheeks.I watched him walk away to a girl's car and kiss her passionately in front of my face. My heart ripped and half, and I could feel it bleeding in my chest.I knew , though, I could not sit there forever willowing in my own self pitty, so I got up and walkedw ith mmy head held low. "LOOK THE UGY DUCKLING IS CRYING. OMG YOU BETTTER GET AWAY YOU MMIGHT CATCH HER UGLINESS SYNDROME,"one of the many jocks who pick on me yelled.My body went numb and so did my brain.
For the rest of the day I was like a zumbie. Living but not fully there in the real world.My heart was bleeding and it felt like everyone was picking up shards of glass and pocking at the mess that was left.I still didn't know how to act without Dustiin, but I knew I only had a few hours to think it over.

CHAPTER3
My life is like rocky waves now. It is uncontrollable and hectic.Weeks have passed by in a blurr, and I have no idea how I I'm going to controll it.
It is 3 days before my birthday. I can't think of a possible explanation for the conversation my mother and father had. Their hiding something and it's something huge.It's like a puzzle without a sollution.All of it is confusing.
Then there is Dustin.It is not that much to say other than he and I are over . I wish it was that simple though. I love him and ,he hates my very being.When we are in school, he looks at me with disgust. I feel like I want to sometimes when I see him kiss some random girl going down the hallway. It kils me though the most is the triumphant smile and pride he has when he sees my pained expression.He knows he has brokened me and, he still can break me. He has hold of my heart and he knows it.
Today is the weekend and my parents have left to go "check a restuarant out for my birthday".I know they're lying because the way my mom was acting all happy and kept huging me and saying she love me.I know that most parents say and do that kind of stuff all the time, but my mom isn't like that though. She rarely shows any love for me. Even if I get an award or something, she will not even show that she is proud of me. Some times I even woundered if she loved me at all. The way she talked to me was even worse ,but know that I'm older I don't care anymore. I've beentalked to so badly at school that I am numb to even the rudest of comments from my mother.
I'm know one thing though I am not going to try and find out what my mom and dad is hiding.It is best that I don't know because my heart is already broken,I don't need even more heartbreak.
CHAPTER 4
My parents came home an hour later, but I could tell they were becoming very anxious to say something ,but they knew they couldn't."HI! Chlore. How are you feeling today?" my mom asked too excitedly.I mumbled,"fine.""Of course dear. I want to mske your favorite food today. Spagetti and meatballs, remember," she said happily. My mom hasn't made my favorite food in a while.To be spacific i she hasn't done anything nice for me in 7 years. I knew she was trying to make me happy and keep me from getting suspicious,but she had top know that by being nice I was alredy suspicious about her reasons for doing something good for me.
I nodded my head and walked quietly to my room.Before I was fully down the hall I heard mom wisper to my dad."do you think she suspects anything?" she asked. "If she does it's because you are the worstb actress in the world. All these years you made it your personal mission to make her feel like you do not love her and now you suddenly decide to make her favoorite food?" he