A Hope Unseen, Jamie Leigh [the best novels to read txt] 📗

Josie, couldn’t stand it, she wished she could crawl under the covers of her bed forever. The pain inside was too much for her to handle. She felt as if a knife was slowly piercing her heart. Feeling so scared and alone, her arm now stinging to take away the pain that she felt inside. Holding a blade in her hand she watched as the blood ran down her arm. Clenching at her stomach she didn’t know what else to do. Her arm was full of the scars she had from all the pain inside. Josie knew it wasn’t much of a difference between a cut and just killing herself
“maybe then the pain will stop,” she would tell herself. She had thought about it so many times, but something always held her back. She wanted this pain to leave, but something told her, it wasn’t worth her life. She had gotten no sleep that night for she could not keep her mind off what she heard the night before.
“Josie needs a father, Rick; you cannot just leave like this. What about Tommy, he is only five. What should I tell him?” Josie heard a sob, but she heard no more. She wanted to get a little closer to the door. She stepped forward, but her foot got caught on the small box right in front of her. Josie went to the ground with a loud thud! She knew they had to have heard her, but she just sat there as still as she could be hoping no one would come out. After a few minutes, no one did, so she got up in a hurry and ran to her room.
“How did I not see that box there?” she asked herself. After she had gotten into her room, she noticed her face was wet, when she did she couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her face. She curled up in her bed holding her stomach and cried and cried, but no one came after her. She thought for sure that life was over that there could be nothing left for her. Josie knew there was something wrong with her parents before, but she didn’t see her family was falling apart.
“I wish I could stay in bed for the rest of my life” she sobbed as she pulled the covers over her head. “Why didn’t I see this coming?” She asked herself grabbing her arm. She remembered the week before when her father took the family out to dinner for Josie’s birthday.
“Where do you want to go, Josie, it is your birthday you pick.” Said her father with a smile. “It’s your choice.” She looked at her family standing all dressed up with smiling faces. She looked at her Father then at her Mother they looked so happy, but there was something wrong
“why will they not stand together or even look at each other?” She asked herself, but as not to spoil the night, she said nothing.
“Well, how about Paisano’s?” She said, knowing this was the first place her father took her mother. It was a little Italian restaurant (she had secretly hoped in that, going there would get things back to normal, but it did just the opposite). She looked at her parents again and knew they did not like the idea, but they put on good faces anyway to try to make Josie happy. When they left the restaurant that night, her father stayed behind. He did not show up home until the next morning.
“That night was such a disaster,” she said to herself “why did they insist on going out to eat? I just wanted to stay home”. Josie closed her eyes in hopes of getting some sleep but the moment; she did her alarm went off.She reached out and shut it off, crawled out of bed and struggled to get ready for school. She could barely pull herself together the tears blurring her vision.
"Come on Jo, get a grip." She told herself. Taking in a deep breath washed her blood stained arm, wiped her tear streaked face, pulled on a long-sleeve shirt and headed down the stairs for breakfast. As she entered the dining room, there was her father sitting in his usual spot at the head of the table. Holding his newspaper in front of his face, (She was so relieved to see him). There next to him sat her little brother Tommy. She sat in her spot at the other side of him across from Tommy. Just then her mother walked out of the kitchen holding a pan full of eggs and sausage. “Smells good,” said Tommy almost in a whisper, Josie knew he could feel the tension. Josie looked at her mother and saw tears in her eyes but also held a smile.
"She is so beautiful" Josie thought to herself, smiling at her mother. By the way, her mother smiled Josie wondered if what she had heard the night before actually happened. She searched her mother’s face for any sign of hurt.
“Maybe it was a dream! She hides it so well,” Josie thought to herself, but she looked straight into her eyes, her mother quickly turned away, but Josie knew she saw it. It was like looking at someone’s heart after someone had taken a baseball bat to it, and she now knew this was real, it was no dream. Her smile faded instantly. Her parents were splitting up. She did not want to believe it, but she could not help it.
“Can you hurry up Helen? I do not have all day!” her thoughts were interrupted by her father’s angry voice “I have to get to the office.” Josie looked at her father then she turned to look at Tommy. She knew he did not have a clue what was happening, but it almost seemed as if he did he had such a worried look on his face. He wouldn’t look up from his food, and she thought she saw tears running down his face. She wanted to go over to him hold him in her arms and tell him that it was going to be okay.
“Yes dear I’ll have your food out right away,” her mother said with such a small voice, she could scarce believe it belonged to her mother. The rest of breakfast was eaten in silence; all in all, it was an extremely uncomfortable meal. Her mother would smile as much as possible, but they could see it was a struggle for her. Josie helped her mother cleanup from breakfast. Right after, she heard her father's car leave she kissed her mother goodbye and left for school. Josie loved school, but today, all she wanted to do was stay home to help her Mother in any way possible. Josie could see that it was not going to be an easy day. At school, she could not concentrate. She had no friends to tell anything to and the only person who noticed her was a boy, named Jake. She never noticed him much, but they had been at the same school and in the same classes since Josie had moved there. He always knew there was something different about her. He wanted to talk to her but, never had the courage. He stood at his locker waiting for his next class when he saw her. He watched her moving slowly through the crowd with her face to the floor as she past him her eyes met his. Her hand came to her face and wiped her cheek and just like that she was gone. As he walked home, he knew that he had to share with her the love that Christ gave him when he hurt. He made up his mind to talk to her the next day but, when he looked up across the street there she was walking home. Without thinking, he ran after her.
“Josie,” he called, but she did not answer. Her head was working over time she felt so exhausted that she didn’t even hear him. He didn’t give up he called, again and the third time he called her, she heard him.
“Josie,” he said again she looked back and saw him.
“Oh! Um hi,” she said her cheeks turning red trying to remember his name.
“My name is, Jake, don’t worry about it,” he said with a smile. “But I was wondering if I could walk you home?” he asked, placing his hand on her arm. Pain shot through her. Gasping, she dropped her books and grabbed her arm near her shoulder. She suddenly remembered he was there. She took her hand from her arm, flashed him a quick smile. She bent to pick up her books, but he already had them in his arms.
"I'll carry them." he told her. She looked at his face and into his eyes expecting him to condemn her any moment, but she saw something she had never seen in anyone else before. She saw a love she had never known. She looked down to the ground and then back up at him,
“Thank you,” she said. If this were any other day, she would not have complied, but seeing she had no one else she found herself longing for a friend. They walked on for a bit in silence then he finally asked what was wrong
"I saw you crying earlier and wanted to make sure your okay" he told her.
“Well,” she answered, fighting the tears. “My parents are splitting up,” she said. She struggled to tell him at first but after these words the whole thing came spilling out. She told him everything, almost everything, and when she finished, he looked at her amazed at how much pain she had hidden behind her eyes. Other than that time she had been so good at hiding everything anyone would have thought she was perfectly happy. She felt his gaze upon her; she could feel her cheeks getting hotter and hotter as the tears came down.She did not want to look at him because she was embarrassed for crying but, something pulled her into his gaze. When she looked she saw the love in his eyes once again, and she knew the love wasn’t for her, but that it must have been given to him. She had never seen anything like it. She felt peace in her heart. She wanted to know what it was about him that made him so different but, she said nothing and the two of them walked the rest of the way in silence. She now somehow felt happy, but she also knew it would not last.


Josie walked to the door of her home, turned around and smiled at Jake,
“Thanks for walking me home. I needed someone to talk to, so thanks,” she said.
“Sure,” he answered “but Josie..." He looked down at her porch and took a deep breath, unsure if he should ask the question that was eating at him. "Why did you drop your books when I touched your arm?” He asked. She looked down and said nothing but just opened the door, walked inside, turned and smiled at him,
“It’s just sore, I hurt it the other day” and with that she closed the door. Josie walked in the door of her home. It was unusually quiet.
“Mama!” She listened, but all she heard now was the sound of sobbing and crying. She knew what had happened, but she still would not believe it.
“It can’t be true,” she said to herself,