THE DITZ, J.E. Kaye [color ebook reader .txt] 📗

I came downstairs this morning to hear a terrible "rushing" noise. Racing outside to see if there was a water pipe that had burst, I saw nothing. Looking around the living room, I checked the fireplace in case gas was leaking...zilch.... but still an ominous sound. I gazed at the television, which was off, and pressed the remote. Nothing happened, even though I shook the remote angrily at the set. As I was desperately about to call my phone company, Verizon, I noticed the stereo light was displaying green. I turned off the radio and the noise magically disappeared. Amazing!


Making a cup of tea and two pieces of toast to comfort me in my distress, I went back upstairs to turn on my computer. Stepping in mounds of throw-up from the cat on my newly shampooed carpet, I sat down in my den and put my breakfast to the side of the computer. The phone rang and I turned to have a conversation with my friend. After hanging up, I noticed the cat was licking the butter off my toast - but I ate it anyway. No, I didn’t eat the cat, who was happily washing her buttery nose.


Deciding to take a shower, I went into the bathroom. I took off my glasses, picked up a bottle of depilatory spray and climbed in the tub. After spraying my legs, I wondered why it smelled so nice. Checking closely, I saw that I had sprayed on Nice 'n Easy deodorant. Sighing deeply, I picked up the shampoo and lathered it generously in my hair. Checking the bottle, because something felt wrong, I saw that I had put a glob of body lotion in my hair. Giving up, I got out of the shower and brushed my teeth....with Desitin, again!

Publication Date: 08-03-2010

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To my very young "old lady" who makes me laugh every day.