Sanctuary, Edith Wharton [best novels in english .TXT] 📗
- Author: Edith Wharton
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from the crowd and taken refuge in the perfumed emptiness of the conservatory.
The girl, whose sensations were always easily set in motion, had at first a good deal to say of the music, for which she claimed, on her hearer's part, an active show of approval or dissent; but this dismissed, she turned a melting face on Mrs. Peyton and said with one of her rapid modulations of tone: "I was so sorry about poor Mr. Darrow."
Mrs. Peyton uttered an assenting sigh. "It was a great grief to us--a great loss to my son."
"Yes--I know. I can imagine what you must have felt. And then it was so unlucky that it should have happened just now."
Mrs. Peyton shot a reconnoitring glance at her profile. "His dying, you mean, on the eve of success?"
Miss Verney turned a frank smile upon her. "One ought to feel that, of course--but I'm afraid I am very selfish where my friends are concerned, and I was thinking of Mr. Peyton's having to give up his work at such a critical moment." She spoke without a note of deprecation: there was a pagan freshness in her opportunism.
Mrs. Peyton was silent, and the girl continued after a pause: "I suppose now it will be almost impossible for him to finish his drawings in time. It's a pity he hadn't worked out the whole scheme a little sooner. Then the details would have come of themselves."
Mrs. Peyton felt a contempt strangely mingled with exultation. If only the girl would talk in that way to Dick!
"He has hardly had time to think of himself lately," she said, trying to keep the coldness out of her voice.
"No, of course not," Miss Verney assented; "but isn't that all the more reason for his friends to think of him? It was very dear of him to give up everything to nurse Mr. Darrow--but, after all, if a man is going to get on in his career there are times when he must think first of himself."
Mrs. Peyton paused, trying to choose her words with deliberation. It was quite clear now that Dick had not spoken, and she felt the responsibility that devolved upon her.
"Getting on in a career--is that always the first thing to be considered?" she asked, letting her eyes rest musingly on the girl's.
The glance did not disconcert Miss Verney, who returned it with one of equal comprehensiveness. "Yes," she said quickly, and with a slight blush. "With a temperament like Mr. Peyton's I believe it is. Some people can pick themselves up after any number of bad falls: I am not sure that he could. I think discouragement would weaken instead of strengthening him."
Both women had forgotten external conditions in the quick reach for each other's meanings. Mrs. Peyton flushed, her maternal pride in revolt; but the answer was checked on her lips by the sense of the girl's unexpected insight. Here was some one who knew Dick as well as she did--should she say a partisan or an accomplice? A dim jealousy stirred beneath Mrs. Peyton's other emotions: she was undergoing the agony which the mother feels at the first intrusion on her privilege of judging her child; and her voice had a flutter of resentment.
"You must have a poor opinion of his character," she said.
Miss Verney did not remove her eyes, but her blush deepened beautifully. "I have, at any rate," she Said, "a high one of his talent. I don't suppose many men have an equal amount of moral and intellectual energy."
"And you would cultivate the one at the expense of the other?"
"In certain cases--and up to a certain point." She shook out the long fur of her muff, one of those silvery flexible furs which clothe a woman with a delicate sumptuousness. Everything about her, at the moment, seemed rich and cold--everything, as Mrs. Peyton quickly noted, but the blush lingering under her dark skin; and so complete was the girl's self-command that the blush seemed to be there only because it had been forgotten.
"I dare say you think me strange," she continued. "Most people do, because I speak the truth. It's the easiest way of concealing one's feelings. I can, for instance, talk quite openly about Mr. Peyton under shelter of your inference that I shouldn't do so if I were what is called 'interested' in him. And as I _am_ interested in him, my method has its advantages!" She ended with one of the fluttering laughs which seemed to flit from point to point of her expressive person.
Mrs. Peyton leaned toward her. "I believe you are interested," she said quietly; "and since I suppose you allow others the privilege you claim for yourself, I am going to confess that I followed you here in the hope of finding out the nature of your interest."
Miss Verney shot a glance at her, and drew away in a soft subsidence of undulating furs.
"Is this an embassy?" she asked smiling.
"No: not in any sense."
The girl leaned back with an air of relief. "I'm glad; I should have disliked--" She looked again at Mrs. Peyton. "You want to know what I mean to do?"
"Yes."
"Then I can only answer that I mean to wait and see what he does."
"You mean that everything is contingent on his success?"
"_I_ am--if I'm everything," she admitted gaily.
The mother's heart was beating in her throat, and her words seemed to force themselves out through the throbs.
"I--I don't quite see why you attach such importance to this special success."
"Because he does," the girl returned instantly. "Because to him it is the final answer to his self-questioning--the questioning whether he is ever to amount to anything or not. He says if he has anything in him it ought to come out now. All the conditions are favourable--it is the chance he has always prayed for. You see," she continued, almost confidentially, but without the least loss of composure--"you see he has told me a great deal about himself and his various experiments--his phrases of indecision and disgust. There are lots of tentative talents in the world, and the sooner they are crushed out by circumstances the better. But it seems as though he really had it in him to do something distinguished--as though the uncertainty lay in his character and not in his talent. That is what interests, what attracts me. One can't teach a man to have genius, but if he has it one may show him how to use it. That is what I should be good for, you see--to keep him up to his opportunities."
Mrs. Peyton had listened with an intensity of attention that left her reply unprepared. There was something startling and yet half attractive in the girl's avowal of principles which are oftener lived by than professed.
"And you think," she began at length, "that in this case he has fallen below his opportunity?"
"No one can tell, of course; but his discouragement, his _abattement_, is a bad sign. I don't think he has any hope of succeeding."
The mother again wavered a moment. "Since you are so frank," she then said, "will you let me be equally so, and ask how lately you have seen him?"
The girl smiled at the circumlocution. "Yesterday afternoon," she said simply.
"And you thought him--"
"Horribly down on his luck. He said himself that his brain was empty."
Again Mrs. Peyton felt the throb in her throat, and a slow blush rose to her cheek. "Was that all he said?"
"About himself--was there anything else?" said the girl quickly.
"He didn't tell you of--of an opportunity to make up for the time he has lost?"
"An opportunity? I don't understand."
"He didn't speak to you, then, of Mr. Darrow's letter?"
"He said nothing of any letter."
"There _was_ one, which was found after poor Darrow's death. In it he gave Dick leave to use his design for the competition. Dick says the design is wonderful--it would give him just what he needs."
Miss Verney sat listening raptly, with a rush of colour that suffused her like light.
"But when was this? Where was the letter found? He never said a word of it!" she exclaimed.
"The letter was found on the day of Darrow's death."
"But I don't understand! Why has he never told me? Why should he seem so hopeless?" She turned an ignorant appealing face on Mrs. Peyton. It was prodigious, but it was true--she felt nothing, saw nothing, but the crude fact of the opportunity.
Mrs. Peyton's voice trembled with the completeness of her triumph. "I suppose his reason for not speaking is that he has scruples."
"Scruples?"
"He feels that to use the design would be dishonest."
Miss Verney's eyes fixed themselves on her in a commiserating stare. "Dishonest? When the poor man wished it himself? When it was his last request? When the letter is there to prove it? Why, the design belongs to your son! No one else had any right to it."
"But Dick's right does not extend to passing it off as his own--at least that is his feeling, I believe. If he won the competition he would be winning it on false pretenses."
"Why should you call them false pretenses? His design might have been better than Darrow's if he had had time to carry it out. It seems to me that Mr. Darrow must have felt this--must have felt that he owed his friend some compensation for the time he took from him. I can imagine nothing more natural than his wishing to make this return for your son's sacrifice."
She positively glowed with the force of her conviction, and Mrs. Peyton, for a strange instant, felt her own resistance wavering. She herself had never considered the question in that light--the light of Darrow's viewing his gift as a justifiable compensation. But the glimpse she caught of it drove her shuddering behind her retrenchments.
"That argument," she said coldly, "would naturally be more convincing to Darrow than to my son."
Miss Verney glanced up, struck by the change in Mrs. Peyton's voice.
"Ah, then you agree with him? You think it _would_ be dishonest?"
Mrs. Peyton saw that she had slipped into self-betrayal. "My son and I have not spoken of the matter," she said evasively. She caught the flash of relief in Miss Verney's face.
"You haven't spoken? Then how do you know how he feels about it?"
"I only judge from--well, perhaps from his not speaking."
The girl drew a deep breath. "I see," she murmured. "That is the very reason that prevents his speaking."
"The reason?"
"Your knowing what he thinks--and his knowing that you know."
Mrs. Peyton was startled at her subtlety. "I assure you," she said, rising, "that I have done nothing to influence him."
The girl gazed at her musingly. "No," she said with a faint smile, "nothing except to read his thoughts."
VI
Mrs. Peyton reached home in the state of exhaustion which follows on a physical struggle. It seemed to her as though her talk with Clemence Verney had been an actual combat, a measuring of wrist and eye. For a moment she was frightened at what she had done--she felt as though she had betrayed her son to the enemy. But before long she regained her moral balance, and saw that she had merely shifted the conflict to the ground on which it could best
The girl, whose sensations were always easily set in motion, had at first a good deal to say of the music, for which she claimed, on her hearer's part, an active show of approval or dissent; but this dismissed, she turned a melting face on Mrs. Peyton and said with one of her rapid modulations of tone: "I was so sorry about poor Mr. Darrow."
Mrs. Peyton uttered an assenting sigh. "It was a great grief to us--a great loss to my son."
"Yes--I know. I can imagine what you must have felt. And then it was so unlucky that it should have happened just now."
Mrs. Peyton shot a reconnoitring glance at her profile. "His dying, you mean, on the eve of success?"
Miss Verney turned a frank smile upon her. "One ought to feel that, of course--but I'm afraid I am very selfish where my friends are concerned, and I was thinking of Mr. Peyton's having to give up his work at such a critical moment." She spoke without a note of deprecation: there was a pagan freshness in her opportunism.
Mrs. Peyton was silent, and the girl continued after a pause: "I suppose now it will be almost impossible for him to finish his drawings in time. It's a pity he hadn't worked out the whole scheme a little sooner. Then the details would have come of themselves."
Mrs. Peyton felt a contempt strangely mingled with exultation. If only the girl would talk in that way to Dick!
"He has hardly had time to think of himself lately," she said, trying to keep the coldness out of her voice.
"No, of course not," Miss Verney assented; "but isn't that all the more reason for his friends to think of him? It was very dear of him to give up everything to nurse Mr. Darrow--but, after all, if a man is going to get on in his career there are times when he must think first of himself."
Mrs. Peyton paused, trying to choose her words with deliberation. It was quite clear now that Dick had not spoken, and she felt the responsibility that devolved upon her.
"Getting on in a career--is that always the first thing to be considered?" she asked, letting her eyes rest musingly on the girl's.
The glance did not disconcert Miss Verney, who returned it with one of equal comprehensiveness. "Yes," she said quickly, and with a slight blush. "With a temperament like Mr. Peyton's I believe it is. Some people can pick themselves up after any number of bad falls: I am not sure that he could. I think discouragement would weaken instead of strengthening him."
Both women had forgotten external conditions in the quick reach for each other's meanings. Mrs. Peyton flushed, her maternal pride in revolt; but the answer was checked on her lips by the sense of the girl's unexpected insight. Here was some one who knew Dick as well as she did--should she say a partisan or an accomplice? A dim jealousy stirred beneath Mrs. Peyton's other emotions: she was undergoing the agony which the mother feels at the first intrusion on her privilege of judging her child; and her voice had a flutter of resentment.
"You must have a poor opinion of his character," she said.
Miss Verney did not remove her eyes, but her blush deepened beautifully. "I have, at any rate," she Said, "a high one of his talent. I don't suppose many men have an equal amount of moral and intellectual energy."
"And you would cultivate the one at the expense of the other?"
"In certain cases--and up to a certain point." She shook out the long fur of her muff, one of those silvery flexible furs which clothe a woman with a delicate sumptuousness. Everything about her, at the moment, seemed rich and cold--everything, as Mrs. Peyton quickly noted, but the blush lingering under her dark skin; and so complete was the girl's self-command that the blush seemed to be there only because it had been forgotten.
"I dare say you think me strange," she continued. "Most people do, because I speak the truth. It's the easiest way of concealing one's feelings. I can, for instance, talk quite openly about Mr. Peyton under shelter of your inference that I shouldn't do so if I were what is called 'interested' in him. And as I _am_ interested in him, my method has its advantages!" She ended with one of the fluttering laughs which seemed to flit from point to point of her expressive person.
Mrs. Peyton leaned toward her. "I believe you are interested," she said quietly; "and since I suppose you allow others the privilege you claim for yourself, I am going to confess that I followed you here in the hope of finding out the nature of your interest."
Miss Verney shot a glance at her, and drew away in a soft subsidence of undulating furs.
"Is this an embassy?" she asked smiling.
"No: not in any sense."
The girl leaned back with an air of relief. "I'm glad; I should have disliked--" She looked again at Mrs. Peyton. "You want to know what I mean to do?"
"Yes."
"Then I can only answer that I mean to wait and see what he does."
"You mean that everything is contingent on his success?"
"_I_ am--if I'm everything," she admitted gaily.
The mother's heart was beating in her throat, and her words seemed to force themselves out through the throbs.
"I--I don't quite see why you attach such importance to this special success."
"Because he does," the girl returned instantly. "Because to him it is the final answer to his self-questioning--the questioning whether he is ever to amount to anything or not. He says if he has anything in him it ought to come out now. All the conditions are favourable--it is the chance he has always prayed for. You see," she continued, almost confidentially, but without the least loss of composure--"you see he has told me a great deal about himself and his various experiments--his phrases of indecision and disgust. There are lots of tentative talents in the world, and the sooner they are crushed out by circumstances the better. But it seems as though he really had it in him to do something distinguished--as though the uncertainty lay in his character and not in his talent. That is what interests, what attracts me. One can't teach a man to have genius, but if he has it one may show him how to use it. That is what I should be good for, you see--to keep him up to his opportunities."
Mrs. Peyton had listened with an intensity of attention that left her reply unprepared. There was something startling and yet half attractive in the girl's avowal of principles which are oftener lived by than professed.
"And you think," she began at length, "that in this case he has fallen below his opportunity?"
"No one can tell, of course; but his discouragement, his _abattement_, is a bad sign. I don't think he has any hope of succeeding."
The mother again wavered a moment. "Since you are so frank," she then said, "will you let me be equally so, and ask how lately you have seen him?"
The girl smiled at the circumlocution. "Yesterday afternoon," she said simply.
"And you thought him--"
"Horribly down on his luck. He said himself that his brain was empty."
Again Mrs. Peyton felt the throb in her throat, and a slow blush rose to her cheek. "Was that all he said?"
"About himself--was there anything else?" said the girl quickly.
"He didn't tell you of--of an opportunity to make up for the time he has lost?"
"An opportunity? I don't understand."
"He didn't speak to you, then, of Mr. Darrow's letter?"
"He said nothing of any letter."
"There _was_ one, which was found after poor Darrow's death. In it he gave Dick leave to use his design for the competition. Dick says the design is wonderful--it would give him just what he needs."
Miss Verney sat listening raptly, with a rush of colour that suffused her like light.
"But when was this? Where was the letter found? He never said a word of it!" she exclaimed.
"The letter was found on the day of Darrow's death."
"But I don't understand! Why has he never told me? Why should he seem so hopeless?" She turned an ignorant appealing face on Mrs. Peyton. It was prodigious, but it was true--she felt nothing, saw nothing, but the crude fact of the opportunity.
Mrs. Peyton's voice trembled with the completeness of her triumph. "I suppose his reason for not speaking is that he has scruples."
"Scruples?"
"He feels that to use the design would be dishonest."
Miss Verney's eyes fixed themselves on her in a commiserating stare. "Dishonest? When the poor man wished it himself? When it was his last request? When the letter is there to prove it? Why, the design belongs to your son! No one else had any right to it."
"But Dick's right does not extend to passing it off as his own--at least that is his feeling, I believe. If he won the competition he would be winning it on false pretenses."
"Why should you call them false pretenses? His design might have been better than Darrow's if he had had time to carry it out. It seems to me that Mr. Darrow must have felt this--must have felt that he owed his friend some compensation for the time he took from him. I can imagine nothing more natural than his wishing to make this return for your son's sacrifice."
She positively glowed with the force of her conviction, and Mrs. Peyton, for a strange instant, felt her own resistance wavering. She herself had never considered the question in that light--the light of Darrow's viewing his gift as a justifiable compensation. But the glimpse she caught of it drove her shuddering behind her retrenchments.
"That argument," she said coldly, "would naturally be more convincing to Darrow than to my son."
Miss Verney glanced up, struck by the change in Mrs. Peyton's voice.
"Ah, then you agree with him? You think it _would_ be dishonest?"
Mrs. Peyton saw that she had slipped into self-betrayal. "My son and I have not spoken of the matter," she said evasively. She caught the flash of relief in Miss Verney's face.
"You haven't spoken? Then how do you know how he feels about it?"
"I only judge from--well, perhaps from his not speaking."
The girl drew a deep breath. "I see," she murmured. "That is the very reason that prevents his speaking."
"The reason?"
"Your knowing what he thinks--and his knowing that you know."
Mrs. Peyton was startled at her subtlety. "I assure you," she said, rising, "that I have done nothing to influence him."
The girl gazed at her musingly. "No," she said with a faint smile, "nothing except to read his thoughts."
VI
Mrs. Peyton reached home in the state of exhaustion which follows on a physical struggle. It seemed to her as though her talk with Clemence Verney had been an actual combat, a measuring of wrist and eye. For a moment she was frightened at what she had done--she felt as though she had betrayed her son to the enemy. But before long she regained her moral balance, and saw that she had merely shifted the conflict to the ground on which it could best
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