Lady Susan, Jane Austen [best books to read in life txt] 📗

cordiality

on my part will keep her away. I could not help asking Reginald if he

intended being in London this winter, as soon as I found her ladyship’s

steps would be bent thither; and though he professed himself quite

undetermined, there was something in his look and voice as he spoke which

contradicted his words. I have done with lamentation; I look upon the event

as so far decided that I resign myself to it in despair. If he leaves you

soon for London everything will be concluded.

 

Your affectionate, &c.,

 

C. VERNON.

XXVIII

MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN

 

Edward Street.

 

My dearest Friend,—I write in the greatest distress; the most

unfortunate event has just taken place. Mr. Johnson has hit on the most

effectual manner of plaguing us all. He had heard, I imagine, by some means

or other, that you were soon to be in London, and immediately contrived to

have such an attack of the gout as must at least delay his journey to Bath,

if not wholly prevent it. I am persuaded the gout is brought on or kept off

at pleasure; it was the same when I wanted to join the Hamiltons to the

Lakes; and three years ago, when I had a fancy for Bath, nothing could

induce him to have a gouty symptom.

 

I am pleased to find that my letter had so much effect on you, and that

De Courcy is certainly your own. Let me hear from you as soon as you

arrive, and in particular tell me what you mean to do with Mainwaring. It

is impossible to say when I shall be able to come to you; my confinement

must be great. It is such an abominable trick to be ill here instead of at

Bath that I can scarcely command myself at all. At Bath his old aunts

would have nursed him, but here it all falls upon me; and he bears pain

with such patience that I have not the common excuse for losing my temper.

 

Yours ever,

 

ALICIA.

XXIX

LADY SUSAN VERNON TO MRS. JOHNSON

 

Upper Seymour Street.

 

My dear Alicia,—There needed not this last fit of the gout to make me

detest Mr. Johnson, but now the extent of my aversion is not to be

estimated. To have you confined as nurse in his apartment! My dear Alicia,

of what a mistake were you guilty in marrying a man of his age! just old

enough to be formal, ungovernable, and to have the gout; too old to be

agreeable, too young to die. I arrived last night about five, had scarcely

swallowed my dinner when Mainwaring made his appearance. I will not

dissemble what real pleasure his sight afforded me, nor how strongly I felt

the contrast between his person and manners and those of Reginald, to the

infinite disadvantage of the latter. For an hour or two I was even

staggered in my resolution of marrying him, and though this was too idle

and nonsensical an idea to remain long on my mind, I do not feel very eager

for the conclusion of my marriage, nor look forward with much impatience to

the time when Reginald, according to our agreement, is to be in town. I

shall probably put off his arrival under some pretence or other. He must

not come till Mainwaring is gone. I am still doubtful at times as to

marrying; if the old man would die I might not hesitate, but a state of

dependance on the caprice of Sir Reginald will not suit the freedom of my

spirit; and if I resolve to wait for that event, I shall have excuse enough

at present in having been scarcely ten months a widow. I have not given

Mainwaring any hint of my intention, or allowed him to consider my

acquaintance with Reginald as more than the commonest flirtation, and he is

tolerably appeased. Adieu, till we meet; I am enchanted with my lodgings.

 

Yours ever,

 

S. VERNON.

XXX

LADY SUSAN VERNON TO MR. DE COURCY

 

Upper Seymour Street.

 

I have received your letter, and though I do not attempt to conceal that

I am gratified by your impatience for the hour of meeting, I yet feel

myself under the necessity of delaying that hour beyond the time originally

fixed. Do not think me unkind for such an exercise of my power, nor accuse

me of instability without first hearing my reasons. In the course of my

journey from Churchhill I had ample leisure for reflection on the present

state of our affairs, and every review has served to convince me that they

require a delicacy and cautiousness of conduct to which we have hitherto

been too little attentive. We have been hurried on by our feelings to a

degree of precipitation which ill accords with the claims of our friends or

the opinion of the world. We have been unguarded in forming this hasty

engagement, but we must not complete the imprudence by ratifying it while

there is so much reason to fear the connection would be opposed by those

friends on whom you depend. It is not for us to blame any expectations on

your father’s side of your marrying to advantage; where possessions are so

extensive as those of your family, the wish of increasing them, if not

strictly reasonable, is too common to excite surprize or resentment. He has

a right to require a woman of fortune in his daughter-in-law, and I am

sometimes quarrelling with myself for suffering you to form a connection so

imprudent; but the influence of reason is often acknowledged too late by

those who feel like me. I have now been but a few months a widow, and,

however little indebted to my husband’s memory for any happiness derived

from him during a union of some years, I cannot forget that the indelicacy

of so early a second marriage must subject me to the censure of the world,

and incur, what would be still more insupportable, the displeasure of Mr.

Vernon. I might perhaps harden myself in time against the injustice of

general reproach, but the loss of HIS valued esteem I am, as you well know,

ill-fitted to endure; and when to this may be added the consciousness of

having injured you with your family, how am I to support myself? With

feelings so poignant as mine, the conviction of having divided the son from

his parents would make me, even with you, the most miserable of beings. It

will surely, therefore, be advisable to delay our union—to delay it till

appearances are more promising—till affairs have taken a more favourable

turn. To assist us In such a resolution I feel that absence will be

necessary. We must not meet. Cruel as this sentence may appear, the

necessity of pronouncing it, which can alone reconcile it to myself, will

be evident to you when you have considered our situation in the light in

which I have found myself imperiously obliged to place it. You may be—you

must be—well assured that nothing but the strongest conviction of duty

could induce me to wound my own feelings by urging a lengthened separation,

and of insensibility to yours you will hardly suspect me. Again, therefore,

I say that we ought not, we must not, yet meet. By a removal for some

months from each other we shall tranquillise the sisterly fears of Mrs.

Vernon, who, accustomed herself to the enjoyment of riches, considers

fortune as necessary everywhere, and whose sensibilities are not of a

nature to comprehend ours. Let me hear from you soon—very soon. Tell me

that you submit to my arguments, and do not reproach me for using such. I

cannot bear reproaches: my spirits are not so high as to need being

repressed. I must endeavour to seek amusement, and fortunately many of my

friends are in town; amongst them the Mainwarings; you know how sincerely

I regard both husband and wife.

 

I am, very faithfully yours,

 

S. VERNON

XXXI

LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON

 

Upper Seymour Street.

 

My dear Friend,—That tormenting creature, Reginald, is here. My letter,

which was intended to keep him longer in the country, has hastened him to

town. Much as I wish him away, however, I cannot help being pleased with

such a proof of attachment. He is devoted to me, heart and soul. He will

carry this note himself, which is to serve as an introduction to you, with

whom he longs to be acquainted. Allow him to spend the evening with you,

that I may be in no danger of his returning here. I have told him that I am

not quite well, and must be alone; and should he call again there might be

confusion, for it is impossible to be sure of servants. Keep him,

therefore, I entreat you, in Edward Street. You will not find him a heavy

companion, and I allow you to flirt with him as much as you like. At the

same time, do not forget my real interest; say all that you can to convince

him that I shall be quite wretched if he remains here; you know my

reasons—propriety, and so forth. I would urge them more myself, but that I

am impatient to be rid of him, as Mainwaring comes within half an hour.

Adieu!

S VERNON XXXII

MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN

 

Edward Street.

 

My dear Creature,—I am in agonies, and know not what to do. Mr. De

Courcy arrived just when he should not. Mrs. Mainwaring had that instant

entered the house, and forced herself into her guardian’s presence, though

I did not know a syllable of it till afterwards, for I was out when both

she and Reginald came, or I should have sent him away at all events; but

she was shut up with Mr. Johnson, while he waited in the drawing-room for

me. She arrived yesterday in pursuit of her husband, but perhaps you know

this already from himself. She came to this house to entreat my husband’s

interference, and before I could be aware of it, everything that you could

wish to be concealed was known to him, and unluckily she had wormed out of

Mainwaring’s servant that he had visited you every day since your being in

town, and had just watched him to your door herself! What could I do! Facts

are such horrid things! All is by this time known to De Courcy, who is now

alone with Mr. Johnson. Do not accuse me; indeed, it was impossible to

prevent it. Mr. Johnson has for some time suspected De Courcy of intending

to marry you, and would speak with him alone as soon as he knew him to be

in the house. That detestable Mrs. Mainwaring, who, for your comfort, has

fretted herself thinner and uglier than ever, is still here, and they have

been all closeted together. What can be done? At any rate, I hope he will

plague his wife more than ever. With anxious wishes,

Yours faithfully,

 

ALICIA.

XXXIII

LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON

 

Upper Seymour Street.

 

This eclaircissement is rather provoking. How unlucky that you should

have been from home! I thought myself sure of you at seven! I am undismayed

however. Do not torment yourself with fears on my account; depend on it, I

can make my story good with Reginald. Mainwaring is just gone; he brought

me the news of his wife’s arrival. Silly woman, what does she expect by

such manoeuvres? Yet I wish she had stayed quietly at Langford. Reginald

will be a little enraged at first, but by to-morrow’s dinner, everything

will be well again.

 

Adieu!

 

S. V.

XXXIV

MR. DE COURCY TO LADY SUSAN

 

– Hotel

 

I write only to bid you