The Old Stone House, Constance Fenimore Woolson [e book free reading txt] 📗

all that has been written by the late astronomers, for the subject is very fascinating; it is the fairy tale of science. But still, the nursery rhyme expresses it best:—

‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star! How I wonder what you are!’”

“What we know not now, we shall know hereafter,” said Aunt Faith; “but in addition to your belief in the Creator, do you not also recognize the necessity for a Saviour?”

“There it is, Aunt Faith! Are we all really such miserable sinners? Is there none good? Must we always answer, ‘no, not one?’ Even in my short life, I have known so many who are good and generous! I never could endure whining, you know. I never could endure a gloomy, tearful religion. If we were put into the world, it surely was intended that we should enjoy its beautiful life, and be happy with our fellow mortals. I believe men should try to be good sons, good husbands, and good citizens, and should try to be happy themselves, as well as to make others happy. I can never believe in the virtue of morbid self-analysis, gloomy depression, and harsh judgment. ‘Worms of the dust!’ they say. Well, if the worms are created, and put into the dust, that is the state of life to which they are called, and they will be better worms if they fulfil the duties of a worm, no matter how humble, than they would be if they crawled up on a solitary stone, and wilfully starved themselves to death.”

“Surely, Hugh, there is nothing in the idea of a merciful Saviour to forbid a reasonable enjoyment of life.”

“There ought not to be, Aunt Faith; and if I was not so weary of hypocrisy, I think I could almost throw myself at His feet and give my life into His hands. I want to believe in Him; indeed, I may say I do believe in Him. But I have been kept from coming forward as an ‘avowed disciple,’ by the contempt I cannot help feeling for some whom I know as ‘avowed disciples.’ If there is a contemptible fault in the world it is hypocrisy. I will not believe that God loves the rich church-member, who makes long prayers, and puts five cents in the plate, better than the poor outcast who goes half-starved for days in order to help a sick companion.”

“But, Hugh, no one asks you to believe anything of the kind. Do you not remember our Saviour’s parable of the Good Samaritan who saved the wounded man, while the priest and the Levite, men supposed to be particularly religious, passed by on the other side! The world was the same in our Saviour’s day that it is now, and there is no class against which He utters more severe reproaches than these very religious hypocrites.”

“But, Aunt Faith, these hypocrites are so often prominent in the churches. That is what offends me.”

“It was so then, Hugh. Our Saviour saw it, and repeatedly tore off the masks.”

“But if the hypocrites are in the church, is it not better to stay out?”

“By no means, my dear boy. God has commanded us to make an open profession before men, and we must obey with reverent humility. It is not enough to believe; we must also openly avow our belief. Because there are tares in the field we must not, therefore, stay out in the desert. Because there are hypocrites in the church, we must not, therefore, give ourselves up to evil.”

“Oh, I don’t mean that, aunt! We could be just as good Christians all the time.”

“No, Hugh. That is a fatal error. Men are weak, and God mercifully helps them to conquer themselves by sending them the safeguards of religious vows and duties. It is His appointed way, and we must not question His wisdom. The dangers are ten times greater outside the church than within it, and a blessing is given to obedience. God requires obedience. He distinctly says, ‘he that is not with me, is against me, and he that gathereth not with me, scattereth abroad.’ And as regards hypocrisy, Hugh, it is indeed a wretched fault; but, are there not other faults equally bad?”

“No, aunt; not to me. I can never go to church in the winter without a bitter feeling towards old Mr. Braine, who always leaves his poor horse tied outside through the long service, during the severest weather. Then there is Gideon Fish, too. How very, very good he is! When he was a little boy he always took the highest place in school for good conduct, and yet, there was not a meaner boy in town. He copied the other scholars’ exercises, peeped into the books, and had a key to his Arithmetic. He never got into trouble at recess, and why? Because he was too cowardly to take his share of the sport. As he grew older, he grew to be more and more of a pattern. He was always talking about his feelings. He always ‘felt it to be his duty’ to do just what he most wished to do, and he always had some wonderfully self-sacrificing motive for the greatest self-indulgence. He ‘felt it to be his duty’ to stay at home from church to warn truant boys not to steal the peaches on the Sabbath-day, and how many do you suppose he himself ate that morning?”

“It seems to me, Hugh, that you and Bessie are unreasonably severe upon Gideon’s love of eating,” said Aunt Faith smiling. “Perhaps some time there will come a revelation to Gideon Fish; perhaps some great affliction or disappointment will open his eyes and cause him to see his selfish propensities as they are. In the meantime, let us not forget the beam in our own eyes while we are talking of the mote in our brother’s eye. To go back to our subject; you have acknowledged your belief in God and also, I hope, in His Son our Saviour Jesus Christ?”

“Yes, Aunt Faith; but I cannot acknowledge that the world is a miserable place and life a failure.”

“I do not ask you to acknowledge that, Hugh; you are young and it may be that you have not yet been assailed by the terrible temptations which come, sooner or later, to most of us. Perhaps you have not yet learned from sad experience how hard is the struggle against evil inclinations, and how many are the relapses into which the best of men are apt to fall. It was only when worn with the contest and depressed by repeated failures that the good men of all ages have sent up those cries of abasement and gloom which you so much dislike. This time has not yet come to you; you know nothing of its power. I do not ask you to be wise beyond your years; I only wish you to become as a little child and reverently say, ‘Lord I believe; help Thou mine unbelief.’ The rest will come in due time. There is a blessing given to prompt obedience, and this blessing I want you to gain.”

For several minutes there was silence in the pleasant room, and then Hugh rose. “Dear Aunt Faith,” he said, “you and I will have many more talks on this subject. Who knows but I shall be a pillar of the church in my old age?”

“I hope so, Hugh. But do not put off till old age a plain duty of the present. Give the best of your life to your Maker; after all, the present is all you can call your own.”

“Oh, no, Aunt Faith, the future is mine too. How glorious, how bright it looks! You will be proud of your nephew some day.”

“I am proud of him now,” said Aunt Faith, with an affectionate smile; “but I want to feel secure as to his safety. Oh, Hugh! if you could only say in perfect sincerity these two sentences: ‘Lord I believe; help Thou mine unbelief,’ and ‘Lord be merciful to me a sinner,’ I should rest content.”

“Well, Aunt Faith, when I can say them with all my heart, I will tell you first of all.”

“God grant that it may be soon,” and then Hugh left her.

Bessie was still busy with her painting when she heard a tap at the door. “Is it you, Hugh?” she said; “I am so glad you have come back. I cannot get the exact color of your eyes. Sit down, please, and let me try again.” Hugh sat down in the old arm-chair, and for some minutes he said nothing; at last, however, he burst forth, “Bessie, shall we not tell Aunt Faith about the horseback-riding.”

“Oh, Hugh! and give up all our fun?”

“I do so hate hypocrisy, Bessie; and here I have been rating away against Gideon Fish without even a thought that all the time I myself was deceiving Aunt Faith.”

“I don’t call that hypocrisy, Hugh.”

“What is hypocrisy, then?”

“A hypocrite is a person who pretends to be very good, and I am sure you never pretended to be good at all.”

Hugh laughed; “That is true,” he said “but I hate all underhand dealings.”

“But you won’t tell, Hugh? Please don’t.”

“Et tu Brute?”

“And don’t quote Latin either.”

“I only meant that you should help my good intentions instead of thwarting them,” said Hugh.

“I am not good myself, Hugh, and never was.”

“Oh, yes, you are, Brownie.”

“No, I am not. I have been expelled twice.”

“I believe it is your nature to be naughty, Bessie.”

“I don’t know about that, Hugh; but, at any rate, I ought to have some allowances made because I am so homely. It is easy to be good if one happens to be good-looking too. Everybody loves beautiful children, everybody admires beautiful girls; people are predisposed to like them, and make the best of everything they do. Beauty is of little consequence to a boy, but it makes or mars many a girl. I presume, now, if my nose had been Grecian, and my complexion lily fair, I should have been far more amiable.”

Hugh laughed merrily at this tirade. “But, Brownie,” he said, “I have always thought you pretty.”

A shade of color rose in Bessie’s dark cheek “Thank you, cousin,” she said quickly, “you are kind to say so. But your real taste is for a very different style; a dove-eyed blonde, fair as a lily, and gentle as Griselda.”

“Like Edith Chase, I suppose,” said Hugh, with a merry twinkle in his eye. “Well, a man might do worse. I venture to say the fair Edith never took a horseback-ride after dark in her life.”

“Certainly not; is she not a pattern?” said Bessie sharply. “And, by the way, Hugh, of course you will give me my ride to-night.”

“Oh, Bessie, Bessie, you are incorrigible! Well, if I must, I must! The musicale is to-night, you know.”

“I had forgotten it; but we can go afterwards.”

“That is, if you will mend my gloves.”

“Do get a new pair, Hugh.”

“No; I have only ten dollars left; I shall not have any more until August, and my heart is set upon a little picture at Gurner’s. You have no idea how much I want it; I stop to look at it every time I pass the window, and the liking has, grown into a positive longing. I really must have it.”

“What is the subject?”

“It is, I suppose, an allegorical design, but what attracted me was the beauty of the coloring and its fidelity to nature. It represents a youth standing in a little shaded valley, looking forward and upward through a vista which gradually rises into a bold mountain peak. The atmosphere is all morning, early morning, with purple hues on the hill-side, mists