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don't believe the words you sing sometimes

But then it's your life
Uh huh, it's your life
It's your life
Uh huh, it's your life

But, you've only got one...

If I just to spite you
Placate your disgrace
Will song turn to silence?
Will mask wear your face?
Are you down to be open?
Show me yours and I'll show you mine
Or are you down just to be down?
I don't believe the words you sing sometimes

But then it's your life
Uh huh, it's your life
It's your life
Uh huh, it's your life

But, you only got one

You've only got...one...


-*Frou Frou "Only Got One"

)


***********************************************


*JUSTIN*


I was standing down below her apartment building with Cadence, my see-in-eye dog with me. I was told that her neighborhood was fairly friendly but no one has bothered me since the times I have been around. It's like she has created another type of world that she only sees in black and white. And that's where she needs me. I can put the color in things for her. Her voice, her presence makes me see images of soft light that's there to live instead of just existing. She's soft jazz put into sound and motion as she has been thumping these heart strings, tickling the keys of my soul and blowing out all the manhood in me that cries out.

Cadence grew fond of her as well like she knew she can be totally trusted when she's not able to be around me. She gotten familiar with the surrounding with the block it's amazing that she can call out to her from her barking. My dog knows what floor she's on. Sounds like it can only be real in disney movies? I'm not going to argue with that. "Justin? You and Cadence are down there?" I heard Honor say from up high. "Yes." I replied. "Oh my Lord, I wasn't expecting you to come by!" I laughed.

"I know. It's suppose to be a surprise."

"Well surprise me you did."

"Can you two carry this conversation face to face?!" Someone had said out loud and annoyed.

"Sor?" I repiled.

"STOP!" A small chorus of people had yelled.

I heard Honor laughing and then it faded out. Five minuted later I heard her foot steps coming towards me. "I guess they are tired of you saying that word."

I shrugged it off. "Whatever. Lets go for a walk. I'm feeling something special tonight and you're the main part of that special."

"What do you have up your sleeve?" She asked.

"Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to be with you on a nice walk out this evening. Can you accompany me and man's best friend?"

She chuckled and I heard her talking mushy talk to Candence. "I would be delighted to walk with Cadence-and you." She chuckled to make it as a small joke but for some reason I was reading something else into it.

"So what were doing before I came by?"

"Just listening to the radio." She said half heartedly.

"Anything good was on?" There was silence a brief moment followed by a light scoff of her feet from her stopping. "Actually, there was..."

"Oh? Do tell."

She was quiet at first and I felt like I could hear the tinkering going on in her brain. She hesitated before she spoke. "Justin...I've been thinking. That's what I have been doing before you stopped by and I have been thinking about-this. Um, us."

I didn't know if this curve ball she was throwing was out of uncertainty or shyness. "Ok...".

"I have been loving every moment with you. I want you to know that. It's just...I can't help feeling as well that this is all too good to be true. I've fallen for you since the first time I stepped on that 72 and seen the way you sit up straight and the way you look straight ahead like you can see beyond than what me and others can't-"

"Wait. You felt for me that way then?"

"Yes...I know it's crazy. I think it's insane but I couldn't help it then and since I've crossed that line with you, I can't go back now."

"You felt for me this way since then?

"Yes. Are you even listening to what I'm saying to you? This is all new to me and the way your questioning-"

I stepped up to her and gently held her in my arms so she can calm down. "It's crazy but it works. Right? I don't think we are ment to be humanly normal. So we're missing one less sense of the five senses, and? The way we are, is story gold. If I knew that was you with that heavenly sent lingering on the bus I would've wished for the determination to go detective and find you. And for the record, all I thought about every morning was just to get through the day especially my world history class and the batty professor in it."

She laughed at my simpleness of it.

"Look around you Honor. Have you been? After tonight it wil will the last day. What we are now happened for a reason and I want to conclude it by loving you." She felt like light weight at this point and breathing was a breath take of floating air and we were floating. I didn't want to come down. I heard the music agaain fading in and as I closed my eyes, she made it possible for me to see colors coming to life with the sound. (...(@)) I could see everything in a soft blur moving to the beat and the medly and her face. That face was just the key to it all. "So, anything else you are worried about Ms. Humbleton?" I felt her head shaking "no" slowly against my chest.


(You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at it’s joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

Chorus:
When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right there before my eyes
You’re my beautiful surprise

Chorus:

Was it at the coffee shop
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm
I never saw the signs
Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love
I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall
Have you been waiting long
When did you fall in love with me
When did you fall in love?


-*Chris Rice "When Did You Fall In Love With Me"

)


It felt like we danced and glided back to her building, loving the spell that was brought upon us. "You're quiet." I said. "That's a first." I heard the lightness of her chuckle and then she stroked my face. "I was just thinking," as she started to say, "about God. I was never mad at him for him letting me be this way physically but I always thought at least he's letting me exist and getting by. And now there's a new meaning I discovered as well. He had created you for me." I don't know what had came over me but I burst out laughing.

"Created? I don't think If there was a God he wouldn't created man with all the flaws that we came with and he wouldn't let diasterious things to happen that did occured over the years and now."

All of a sudden it felt like something shifted off to far left of things. She detatched herself from me with silence. "What? You don't believe in God?"

"No I don't. I'm an anthesist. All the supernatural blah say and people claiming that God loves them and testify what He had done for all is just nonsense-"

I heard her heels backing away from me like I was a walking and talking disease. "I can't believe what I'm hearing now. I wish my ears were ripped away from my head from hearing those words." I tried to take a step but as I did that she continued to move a bit further away from me. "Honor, I'm starting to think that you think I'm some kind of monster. I'm not the only athesist around and respecting others beliefs-"

"Don't try to preach to me about respecting the opinons on other people's religions. It's one thing to expect but it's another to bash out the faith that the rest of us keeps within us."

"Honor, I-"

"No. I'm saying good night to you."

The heels on her feet as I heard her foot steps getting fainter and fainter, indicated how shocked and hurt she was. Cadence kept barking to get her attention to come back but the sound of her feet had disappeared in the night.


****************************************************


*HONOR*


The nerve of Justin!...How can he...why would he even think

... I couldn't even form the words of all the questions and couldn't process all my thoughts. And when I think about it, the subject of religion had never came up to discuss. So why was I upset? It's not like I was dutiful christian and attended church every Sunday. But I still believe in God. That was never a lost belief in me. I traced back to what triggered this magical night to go down hill: It was the fact that I felt he was laughing at what I said about God brining us together. Ha, now that I think about the way I had said it maybe think it was pretty corny. But I meant it.

I didn't even go home because I wanted to walk this feeling out. I had noticed people settling in for the night, most looking out the window to the sky fearing for the worst and hoping for a miracle. Seemed like it was "Lover's Lane" as well as I seen some couples walking. I heard one of them say, "Let's milk this night out. Could be the last"... While they were on Lover's, I took a trip down Memory Lane of my own and thought

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