Born Again, Alfred William Lawson [best e book reader .txt] 📗

we shall die together. I could never live without you. There would be left no object in life worth living for." And then, advancing forward, I took her shapely hand in mine, and, looking directly into her lovely eyes with much earnestness, said: "I fully understand that in comparison to the Sage-man, I am a hideous and degraded creature. And I also know that the love that filled the heal is of your contemporaries for one another was sublime, having for a few moments during that musical spell been moved by the same emotions that once impelled the exalted being of which I am the re-incarnation, but believe me when I say that my love for you now is ten thousand times stronger than it was then. I worship you. I shall die for and with you. Aye, even nature itself cannot keep me alive after you have gone. I may not be the equal of the Sageman in other ways, but I shall prove that my love for you is equally as great."

During this outburst of my thoughts, Arletta stood in a motionless attitude, holding my outstretched hand and returning my excited gaze with a look of mingled pity and sorrow. "Is it possible," said she, "that there is not one Apeman in the world today with sufficient strength of character to relinquish his own selfish desires for the good of his species? Can it be that not one Apeman exists whom nature can rely upon for the great work of uplifting humanity, who is brave enough to resist the temporary fascination of a lovable woman? And have I lived to see the reincarnated soul of the bravest and noblest man that ever breathed, bound within the flesh of a wretched coward incapable of living for any greater purpose than his own self-gratification? Am I to understand that one who is controlled by the spirit of my everlasting associate, intends betraying nature's trust by shirking the responsibilities of manhood, because he lacks the courage to live? Will there be promulgated among the records of time an account of my immortal partner having deserted his post of duty by sneaking out of the world before his allotted time? Would this being, who is blessed with physical strength and a well-balanced brain, allow himself to sink to the level of a craven suicide, because he cannot secure something beyond his reach? Does he think that nature brought him into existence for no other purpose than to feed his own petty desires? Would he deliberately die like a useless poltroon, and leave the world in its present state of savagery and wretchedness, without even attempting to be of service to humanity in the very work it requires the most?"

"Stop! Enough!" cried I. "You have wounded my feelings to the very core. I'll admit that I am weak in this instance. Very weak indeed. But this is the first time that my courage has ever been assailed by anyone, and to have you above all persons, openly insinuate that I am a coward is far worse than having inflicted upon me the cruelest tortures of the Ape-man's prospective hell. I am only an Apeman, but as I said before, I love you beyond all power of expression. You no doubt, cannot understand my puny feelings any more than I can fully comprehend your lofty ideals or the full meaning of your higher knowledge of things. The very greatest hardship for me to undergo would be to live after you have passed away. But, if by the promise of so doing I can gain your respect and one encouraging look or word of approval, I will not only rescind the text of my previous statement and live, but I swear to you in the name of the Creator of the law which governs all things, that I shall strictly follow to the letter any instructions you may wish to offer concerning my future movements, no matter what they might be. So make my task a hard one, for the courage you so unfeelingly attacked must be tested to its full limits. I am ready to obey your commands."

Having thus addressed Arletta, I straightened myself up to my full height with as much dignity as I could assume, folded my arms across my chest and awaited her orders.

"The Sagemen never urged their desires by a command," replied Arletta, "they simply requested that which they would like to have done. The request I shall make concerning your future duty can be incorporated in a very few words, but it will require a lifetime and great strength of character to execute. But as you have promised like a man to follow my instructions, I shall die with implicit confidence in your determination to do so. So consider well the following mandate, for it contains the essence which will stimulate you to heroic deeds:

"Always consult your soul for advice,

"Do no act your conscience will not sanction."

Three times Arletta slowly repeated this precept, and then placing her hands upon my shoulders, she continued: "The first time you act contrary to the admonition of your soul, then you will have broken your promise to me. Now go," said she, turning me about until I faced the doorway, "I must request your immediate departure. Go, and try to be a man. We shall meet many times in the future, so while you have the chance try and make better the conditions of life, that we may eventually meet on the same plane of equality without the shadow of strife or animosity to mar our happiness. Good-bye."

With the meaning of these words ringing in my head, I fully understood that my audience with Arletta was at an end, and overcome with grief and gloom I weakly responded, "good-bye," and then added, "I shall never break my promise." Then with a heavy tread I walked to the opening through which I had entered, turned half around and took one long, last, loving look at Arletta and passed into the corridor beyond. At the same time I fancied I heard her gently sobbing.

CHAPTER XXII

Suffering with a dejected feeling of despair, I wended my way through the chaotic anterior hall in search of the hole through which I had so miraculously entered. It seemed as if life's sole aim had suddenly been stricken from the range of my vision. I could not understand why nature should be so cruel as to give me but one momentary glimpse of that angelic mortal and then thrust me away from her in such an indifferent manner. I wondered why the world was not populated exclusively by such lovely beings. Was it because the people themselves, through their individual accumulative system, created conditions whereby only the most abject and debased mortals could survive? Was this system responsible for petty selfishness, instead of conscience governing man, causing him in his greedy scramble for temporary gain, to keep others in a state of helplessness, ignorance, and squalor, thus propagating an inferior race of physical, mental, and moral pigmies as the foremost inhabitants of the earth? Why could not humanity organize itself as a great unit of unselfish effort and equality, for the purpose of uplifting and strengthening all of its component parts, instead of those parts pulling down, weakening, and destroying one another in a ferocious struggle for individual predominance?

As these and similar thoughts crowded themselves into my brain, my attention was attracted by soft strains of music emanating from the room I had just left, and I stood still and listened. Arletta had evidently set the orchestral mechanism in motion again, and was accompanying it by tenderly singing her own requiem. With tremulous modulation, her vocal chords produced sounds such as I had never heard before, and of which I am powerless to give the faintest description. Like a statue, I stood and listened to the almost supernatural melody, and inwardly prayed that it might continue forever. But suddenly both the music and singing ended, and absolute quietness prevailed. It may have been a pure fancy on my part, but as I waited in breathless silence, hoping for more music, the apparition of Arletta seemed to pass directly over my head, and continued right on up through the solid roof of the hallway. Startled beyond expression at what I now consider a mere delusion, I shouted Arletta at the top of my voice several times, and receiving no answer, either telepathically or phonetically, I came to the awful conclusion that she was no more.

Is it unmanly to cry? If so, I must confess my unmanliness, for on this occasion it was impossible for me to repress the tears from coursing down my cheeks, as I realized that the last of nature's grandest and noblest earthly beings had passed away. But the tears I shed apparently softened my nature, and as I stood buried in the depth of meditation concerning the preceding events, I became impregnated with the desire to try and do some real good in the world; to make myself useful to mankind; to live for others instead of myself alone. And then and there I resolved that I would devote the remainder of my natural life to teaching human beings the beautiful principles of Natural Law, as I understood them, without expectation of compensation or future reward. I would go forth, as Arletta had requested, and plant the seed of real truth, justice, love, and equality in human hearts to the best of my ability, and trust in the souls of men to further aid in its universal and everlasting productiveness. I felt positive that the theory of the Sagemen was right, and that the soul just released from Arletta was even then beginning life in a different form. Would it not be criminal on my part to make no effort to better earthly conditions for her future welfare? Perhaps, conjectured I, the soul of my own mother, who died at the time of my birth, might, even at that moment, be incased in a degraded body, surrounded by want and misery, caused by the operation of that selfish, brutal and murderous system, which encourages the strong to squeeze the very light and hope from the weak, thus forcing and keeping mankind in a state of continual degradation. A system that was created in the beginning by savages, and which is upheld at the present time by savages. And the Church, that gigantic symbol of ignorance and stupidity, not only fails to protest against such a beastly system, but actually advocates its continuance.

How long I stood there, seriously thinking on this subject, and forming new and laudable resolutions for the future, I do not know; but at last I awoke to the fact that I was still nothing more nor less than a common adventurer, held captive on an isolated projecture in the middle of the sea. This became more apparent as I faintly heard the ocean's waves dashing against the rocks on the outside of the place. So, following in the direction of the sounds, they became louder and more distinct, until finally I found myself looking up at the very hole through which I had bored my way so unceremoniously. It was night, and I could easily distinguish the stars in the outer darkness. In making a careful survey of the surroundings, I discovered that it was going to be a much more difficult task to get out than it was to get in this extraordinary grotto. The aperture was located about three feet above my head; was barely large enough to squeeze through, and there was no way by which I could climb up to it. I observed, however, that adjoining the hole there was a huge marble pillar running upward and outward in an oblique slant, and wedged in its position by several other massive stones, but with its end protruding below the rest. So, without wasting any time, I leaped up and