The End of My Beginning, Rachel [e ink manga reader txt] 📗

of this giant ship, as I walked through the crowds more and more people began to question the Titanic’s fate. As I got off the decks and back inside the ship away from the bitter cold I racked my mind for the memory of where the captain slept, I recalled that I had passed the area on my first day of exploration. I wandered the halls for some time before coming to a familiar place. Try as I might, I failed to find the captain and eventually settled for a man in high-class clothing, a man of great status aboard the ship. The navigator or architect perhaps, I shall never know.
“Excuse me, sir.” I approached him strongly, I would refuse to be brushed away without my questions answered.
“I don’t have the time miss, you’re blocking my way.” I held my ground, staring the man in the eyes.
“I would suggest you make time then, sir. What is happening?” The man attempted to sidestep around me. I stepped with him, knowing that I was passing the acceptable boundaries of a woman, even one of my class. The look on his face began to show his anger and frustration, but he still spoke coolly.
“I would recommend that you go back to the decks and board a lifeboat. The Titanic will sink.” This time he moved around me I did not try to stop him. I stood frozen, heart beating, blood pounding, mouth agape. It took me many moments before I found the power to move, and I began rushing back towards the decks, recalling the fact that there were not nearly enough life boats for the amount of people aboard the ship.
The frantic frenzy had already begun of trying to board the twenty life boats that the ship held. First class people and woman and children were the top priorities of people to save. I watched as husbands and other family members kissed their wives and children good-bye before shoving them towards a boat. I paused a moment, listening. The wistful tune of a violin reached me on the night’s black wind. My eyes scanned each boat, I realized that all of the boats near me were full and beginning to descend towards the black water. I pushed through the massive crowd, desperately searching for a lifeboat with room but I came to none. I jumped when the clock struck two, astounded that so much time had passed. I stood still, observing the mass chaos around me as though I was a ghost. People pushed around me, I remained invisible to their uncaring eyes, but it wasn’t as though I cared much about them, either. I was still young, it couldn’t possibly be my fate to die on this cold, horrid night. I became aware of the fact that the boat was no longer level, it was tipping slightly. I had to force myself to think about the areas of the ship filled with this bitter water, sealed to keep it, and the lifeless people in now contained, from escaping.
Eventually I reached the end of the deck, and the devastating realization came upon me. All the lifeboats were full, and help was too far away. I would sink with the ship.
No, it couldn’t be so, and I mustn’t allow myself to accept such tragic fate. I had promised my mother I would be fine, I told her not to worry. I would escape the ocean’s fierce grasp. More time had passed, I had been foolish, allowing such a thing to happen. I would need all the time I could get if I wanted to survive the Titanic’s death. The tilt of the ship was more severe now, much more severe. I racked my brain, thinking of a way to safely escape the ship, there was none. I looked over the railing, sickened at how much closer the water was already. All the lifeboats were floating, rowing away. Suddenly the ship began to tip even more than it had, people stumbled and began falling down, smashing into railings and other scrambling people. I clung to the railing with all my strength as the boat reached a near vertical angle. Then there was a deafening roar. I looked below me just in time to see the ship split in to two. Then I was thrown forward as my end of the ship began to rapidly plunge towards a cold and black death.
I clung to the railing until the last possible second before pushing myself away from the ship. I struck the water feet first. Nothing could have prepared me for the cold. I screamed under the water, but it entered my mouth with a burning sensation. My body felt as though thousands of knives had been plunged through my skin. And suddenly, I wanted to die. I wanted to escape the pain. But even as I thought this I was swimming upwards, resisting the currents of the ship behind me sinking to the ocean floor. I broke the water’s surface, and my panting breath froze in the air. I shivered uncontrollably. I watched the lights on the Titanic flicker before going out entirely, leaving me in darkness. My life jacket kept my afloat, but drowning wasn’t my concern. Soon I would be as frozen and lifeless as the bodies around me. Debris floated in the water but I found that I was unable to find the strength to pull myself up and out of the water. Though I had been agonizingly pulling myself through with my arms because my legs had long since lost motion I now stopped and was only kept afloat by my lifejacket. My arms burned as though they were on fire, but I knew that my blood flow was slowing, as was my heart, as was my mind.
I looked up at the stars, they shown like candles in the brilliant night sky. Taking one more deep, shaky, breath I closed my eyes. A small tear slipped from my eyes but it froze before having a chance to become one with the ocean.


Looking down, hundreds of bodies floated in the water, mine included. The Titanic was no longer visible, it had long since disappeared, vanishing into the water’s dark, cold night. Many others were with me, but we were all silent. No one had anything to say.
The Titanic had sunk, and it took us with it.


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Publication Date: 05-17-2012

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