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before her due date she started to have contractions.
“I think you should go to the hospital.” I said while trying to hold her hand and plug my ears at the same time because her screaming was giving me a headache.
“Nooooooo.” She said screaming. “Its just contractions. This baby is not coming out of me until June.” She said while still screaming but I dragged her to the car anyway. I was waiting in the waiting room while she was getting checked out. When the doctor came out I could hear her screaming when he opened the door.
“Is she okay?” I asked before he was even out of the doorway.
“The contractions are so close that we will have to do a sea section.” That doctor said but I didn’t get how she needs one. She is one month away.
“But her due date is still a month away.” I said.
“We are not sure if the baby will be okay but we can hope for the best.” He said while getting up from the chair he was sitting in and starting to go back to her room. “I will keep you posted.” When he came out again he was taking his blue scrubs off because they were covered in blood. I sat down terrified of what he was going to say.
“The babies heart didn’t have a good pulse and when we tried to get it on the heart monitor she went into shock. We used the panels on her but nothing. She was so tiny to start with. She was immature. We are so sorry.” He said. Lindsey’s parents beside me started to cry. I started to get a few tears.
“Can I see her?” I asked while wiping my eyes.
“Yes.” He said while pointing to the door. When I went in to see her she un sleeping.
“Linds darling, wake up.” I said touching her shoulder.
“Where is she?” She said before her eyes were even open.
“They didn’t tell you?” I said. Then Matthew stood up.
“Tell us what?” He asked.
“She didn’t make it.” I said while holding her hand.
“What? How could she not make it.” She said while tearing up.
“Honey, the baby was immature and just wasn’t health.” I paused for a second.
“Are you okay?”
“But the doctor said she was healthy.” Matthew said.
“I know but that was before she was born early. Linds are you okay?” I asked but she didn’t answer. She turned towards her window and laid on her side. Matthew went and talked to me outside.
“Her house is full of baby stuff. Seeing it will kill her. The nursery, the play pin, the bottles. God, how could this have happened. Ya know she was so happy, we were so happy. I even go excited of putting her in little dresses and cow girl boots.” He said while getting weak knees and falling to the ground. He started to cry. “This wasn’t suppose to happen.”
“What was suppose to happen?” I said. “Were you suppose to grow old together and have grandchildren? Think about it. She is only 15. The doctors said the pregnancy would be risky because she is so young. This was to be expected.”
“If only I pulled out. We wouldn’t be in this mess. She would be in this mess.” And he was right. If they were more carful then they could still be teenagers and act like them and instead they are in a hospital crying over a child that was not suppose to be born. I went in to see Lindsey to make sure she was okay.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I was prepared. I knew this could happen. I love Matthew.” She said but then she stood up “I want to leave. This brings to many memories. To many bad memories. I want to go.”
“Okay. I will have Matthew bring around the car and bring you to your house.” I started to say but she cut me off.
“No! I can’t face my parents. I want to go to your house.” She said but that surprised me. If I were in her position then I wouldn’t want to see my parents either.


CHAPTER 5

After I stayed home from school for a week to stay with her I took her to the beach. We sat there at sun set with our feet in the water. We sat in silence and just admired what we saw. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever saw. The reflection of the sun was beautiful on the water. The shades of orange and red was gorgeous. I have never actually sat down and admired what is around me but now I did.
“Does it hurt?” Lindsey asked me.
“Does what hurt?” I replied.
“Not having him.” She said and than I knew what she meant. She wanted to know if not having Matthew still hurt.
“Every second of everyday. Its been about a year and I am getting over him okay. Don’t you worry your pretty little head off.” I said and I was telling the truth. I have spent all my time with him since 5th grade and that is something that will be hard to get over.
“I feel so sorry. I had no intentions of stealing him. It just happened.” She said.
“I know.” I said turning to look at the sun set. It was about 8:30 and the water was beginning to get cold. “We should get you home.” I said while helping her up. When we got home to my house my Mom warmed up some food for us. She didn’t ask any questions. My mother knew better. She alway ridiculed me because Lindsey was always sexually active and she thought that I would be influenced by her. I know better than to let anyone influence me. I once had this boyfriend who dumped me and I was really sad and I talked to my friend Shannon about it.
“Am I wrong?” I asked walking next to her in gym.
“For what?” She said turning to me and having her usual confused face.
“A guy broke up with me because he asked for sex and I told him that I was not ready. Am I wrong?” I said to her.
“No! Alexis, did he try to pressure you because I will cut him, I swear. I knew that Brad was trouble. I will hurt him. He has no right to make you feel this way.” She said starting to get pissed off.
“You can hurt him all you want.” I said to her. She was always a really good friend to me but we weren’t always friends. We use to be enemies in about 2nd grade. She is always their for me.
Matthew came over to my house around ten, once Lindsey left.
“I still love you. Please take me back.” He said while shutting my door and giving me a kiss.
I pushed him away and said “What would Linds say, huh? She loves you. How could you do this to her!”
“But I love you and with out the baby I don’t want to be with her. She did it to you so what does it matter if you do it to her. I was yours first.” He said giving me another kiss but again I pulled away.
“That ridiculous. You hurt me way to many times and if it happens again I don’t know if I will make it.” I said opening the door and making a gesture with my hand.
“I will never stop loving you. We are soul mates, just admit it.” He said while grabbing my hand and holding it to his heart. “Feel that? Its a heart beat and my heart is beating for you. Please don’t say yours doesn’t beat for me.”
“I’m sorry Matthew. I love you, I really do but you and me will never last. Their is always going yo be something between you and Lindsey that we will never have.” I looked away because I saw a tear in his eye. He wiped it and then left without saying a word. I don’t know how I can tell Lindsey.

CHAPTER 6

Matt wasn’t their the next day at school. I just figured that he wasn’t feeling good or didn’t want to face me or Linds. Well, thats what I thought until later that day he was on CNN.
“A video shown of a sixteen year old boy found in a car in a creek. His name is Matthew Ray Plaster. It seems that he hit another car. They were in a ditch across the street. Matthew seems to have major head trauma from hitting the dash and then slamming into the car when he went off the cliff into the creek.” The woman on the television said. Lindsey was with me when I saw it. She was walking from the bathroom and then dropped her glass when she heard his name and saw his face on the video. Lindsey was even more upset when in the video he mumbled my name when they pulled him out of the ditch. She turned to me as if on a killing rage.
“You b****! How could you?” She said storming out the door.
“Lindsey I didn’t I swear. Lindsey come back!” But by the time she heard me she was already in her car and on her way to St. Mary’s Hospital. I followed her. When I got to the hospital hopped out of the car and followed Lindsey and I saw she was crying and running. I grabbed her and she fell to the ground and broke out in crying.
“He cant die. He cant. I love him. I love him.” And she kept repeating the same words over and over again. I helped her walk to his room and when she saw him she cried even more. His head was bloody, stitched and covered in bandages. His eyes were swollen shut.
“Did you?” She said while holding his hand.
“No.” I said in a very calm voice. I walked towards her and turned her to face me. “Why do you think I would do that to you. I’m not that kind of person. I know you love him and I know that you would never forgive me if I did.”
“How did you forgive me?” She said while staring her big brown eyes right at mine.
“I thought of how you feel when your with him and what your baby might like and that everything happens for a reason.” I said while she ran in my arms and gave me a big hug.
“The baby died for a reason. Its because we weren’t made for each other. He was made for you.” She said pulling away from the hug and looking me in the eyes again.
“I cant go through it again. I just cant.” I said, “I’m looking for something serious and he is everything but.” She didn’t say anything after I said that but held Matts hand through the whole night until he went to flat line. Linds starting to freak out. The doctors came in and put him into surgery because of his head. He died that night in surgery. The doctors said their was to much blood lose. I followed Lindsey home but she didn’t go home. She went to a beach but I didn’t know why. She sat and watched the sunset.
“Why are you here?” I asked.
“This is were we first studied. This is were our first kiss was. Right were I’m standing.” She said and picked up some sand. “ This is were “it” happened.”
“I’m so sorry. “I wasn’t sure if telling her that he was killed because he was upset when he
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