somewhere on my way, Anna N. Schnieden [best summer reads TXT] 📗

or hell?” The headmaster.

 

 

“Oh, no, not like that sir. However, if I’m needed to be worried, I probably worry about heaven more. I’m not sure angels like…crazy…Sir.” Me.

 

“Very well, in that case, you seem to be smarter than you look. Surely, you don’t believe in nonsense, do you? That’s why you keep mocking me, isn’t it? What are you looking for?” The headmaster.

 

“With respect, sir. I’m trying to understand the god or the word of gods. To believe in something, I need to understand what I am doing…Sir…If I don’t know what I am doing, then I am not going to do it. Moreover, how do I believe in inconstant uncertainty? Therefore, a principle is important. And the best way of discovering the answer is to talk with someone who knows about the god…like…God expertise. That

 

 

transported me to religious houses, the particular systems of faith and worship. Furthermore, there are so many religions, how do I know which one speaks directly to God’s will? Therefore, examinations should be appraised. As far as I’ve seen and learnt, they’re delusions and business proposals, nothing more.” Me.

 

“Because you only see one side. What about hope? Tell me, Genius, why did they want to have the tattoos? Why did they come for the ritual? Do you think happy people acted nonsense? Or, is the god only your curiosity? You want to discover something no one can with your intelligent theories...don’t you?” The headmaster.

 

“No…Sir! I do genuinely want to know what all the atypical superpowers…Sir. I understood those people are lost souls and they need someone or something to hang on or hold on to. But, don’t you think?…Physiology of bloody spread was… intimacy…sick…Sir. And the needle…hurt!” Me.

 

“So, you didn’t fly. Have you seen people around this area? No one has attainment. Not everybody is bright like you. Therefore, they don’t have necessities or goods or services. I’m not blind yet, a few people hurt for the good of many. I call it “Sacrifice!” I sit here all day and 365 days, blowing on people’s heads with some silly words.

 

“I’m 73 now. It’s hard for me to breathe already, but I have those people to care for, I’ll be sitting here as long as I can to help them. I was told that you’re helping them. You help them because you understand pain and hunger. You’re a skeptic because you know people are not generous. They give you something and they want something. It is a behaviour of human beings. How about I promise you, if someone is nearly dead in the process, I’ll stop the ritual permanently.” The headmaster.

 

In my up and down, I heard this word “SACRIFICE” interconnected to the word god or witchcraft, like Tom & Jerry! It bewitched me exasperatingly. But I had come to understand the headmaster. I was thinking it must have been laborious for him, as it was clear to me…no magic meant no people and no people meant no money and more importantly, there is no such thing as supernatural beings.

 

 

Blimey, there are so many…super voodoo in Buddhists’ beliefs; for instance, some trees have a woman-spirit uncomfortably living in them. Some are good and some…let’s just say…bitchy. If someone pisses on a tree, which is on the roadside, be careful of the bitchy one, she does not like people pissing on her. I had chances to examine some of that excessive credulous sorcery and it was, let’s say…illuminated…and successful experiments…murderous…situation!

 

I built my house in Chiang Mai after I got back from everywhere I was, everyone who lives around my still-being-built home told me,

 

“Never, ever move in between August 1 to October 27. It’s forbidden for moving into a new house! It’s very detrimental to you and your career. Even animals will not make a nest in your house during that specific time. And before you move in, you need a house celebration. You need at least 7 monks, original Thai dancers, and a fortuneteller. The monks cost 3,500 baht each. The dancers are about 2,500–5,000 baht for 2, and 4,000 baht for a fortuneteller.” The people.

 

I moved into my house on October 3 and no…no celebration…I did not want it! I did not want a pet! However, it was good to know when mice, rats, or buggies were going to be my home’s residents…I called the bug men to come on…28 of October… just to be safe and I liked living…alone! If my calculation was correct, in order to move into my own house, I had to pay all those…home magical treatments, 31,000 baht (USD

$970) with no guarantee of any…stroke of luck…no thanks. I took my chances with my design. Besides, fortunetellers and I were an administration of a state of armed conflict!

 

 

 

Once, before I went to Europe, I got a phone call from Ms. No Water; she wanted me to drive her to Chiang Rai (on the border of Laos and Myanmar) to visit a monk who was a fortuneteller with a high recommendation of magical power. I thought, cool! That was exactly what I was looking for. Here was a deal! So many people were, are talking about the miraculous of God’s power on earth. Therefore, it was a good idea for me to go to…hmm the source, hoping to find the answers.

 

 

The sun was shining, birds were singing, and Ms. No Water was enjoying my driving, until we reached there. Mr. Lunatic and Ms. Conscience told me, “Run,” but I said, “Don’t be a chicken!” The fortuneteller’s place was a 2-storey…house?

And…“Love Marble,” everything made of marble except the roof! It was an original Thai style, which was very expensive because most materials were handmade.

 

There were about 20 people before us, sitting on the marble floor, surrounded by Buddha statues and donation boxes (marble lover).

 

“Ms. No Water, I think this lady in front of us (pointed my finger) was here before her hair turned…white.” Me. (whisper)

 

“What did I said, no Mr. Lunatic today. Remember?” Ms. No Water.

 

 

“Oh, my dear. Everyone told me, he’s the only one who can help me.” The old lady. (whom I pointed my finger at)

 

“Forgive my idiotic Ms. Do you have a problem with ghosts?” Me.

 

 

“No! I’m here because someone tried to take my house away…from me. Look at this letter, it’s written 20,000 baht. But they sent me another one from a lawyer and it’s 200,000 baht. I don’t have 200,000 baht.” The old lady.

 

I was very excited…wow, could not think of any other way that the fortuneteller could do for her, well, that was why I was there.

 

When it was the old lady’s turn, I could see the fortuneteller better. Inexplicably, the fortuneteller could talk to a boy-spirit who appeared to have a pet…a buffalo…Ghost? Wow, I had to say goodbye to Harry Potter!

 

“Well, lady. House-ritual is the only way to secure your house…You need a branch from a tree. It must be taller than you. Stick money, as much as possible, on the branch, and bring it here. We’ll set a date for the house-ritual. It’s the only way, otherwise you’ll lose your house. Hurry, your time is running out!” The Fortuneteller.

 

 

 

“I don’t have any money. I’m going to lose my house.” The old lady, with tears.

 

 

“Don’t you have a family? Borrow from them. Ritual is the only way.” The Fortuneteller.

 

Normally, my…Mr. Lunatic and Ms. Conscience were not friends, but in that moment, they decided to be a temporary best friend and they made me do…

 

“Oh, come on. What the fuck!...Monk? Is something completely fucked up in your thick head?” Me.

 

“Come on, Miss. How can you possibly believe in this…gibberish, based on an invisible little boy…Shit! If the little boy…spirit is real, he’s just a bloody kid. And we know how kids are…Like a little chick’s head!” Me.

 

“How dare you!!!! I’ll send my buffalo to you tonight!!! Get out!” The Fortuneteller.

 

 

“Please do!! I’ll be waiting! Can you tell me what time or around when?? So I’ll be ready for a combat…Oh, will the boy come too?” Me.

 

Ms. No Water was already out of the entrance door when I finished my last…wish! I brought the old lady out with me…she was half willing, half traumatic. When we reached my car,

 

“Are you completely out of your fucking mind. Phone call? Right now?” Ms. No Water.

 

 

“Oh, come on. He’s gonna send his buffalo later…tonight, not now…Oh, hello Boss, how is the shits?” Me.

 

“Ok, it isn’t running well, but fine. Where the hell are you? Is someone crying?” Mr. Ok.

 

I told him what was happening inside the fortuneteller’s house and the crying.

 

 

 

“That’s why I’m calling. I don’t exactly want to know your shit. Can I borrow your lawyer?...Like borrow, borrow with no payment. You’re my last hope. I don’t have anyone else to hope for and you’re the only person I know who has a personal lawyer! Oh…Pleeeease….Boss.” Me.

 

“I see. And why the hell should I do that?

 

 

"Boss! She's crying non-stop, hello. Do you know what that means? Flood! Come on Boss, you don't want that, do you? I don't make much money at the moment and I don't know any lawyer. Oh, Boss! Ms. No Water says just send the fucking lawyer, so we can get out of here before someone murders us!” Me.

 

“Alright, I will call him, after you. How the hell…” Mr. Ok.

 

 

“Thanks, Boss, I miss you and Mr. Cute. Love you both. Bye!” Me.

 

 

Well, he said after me! I drove the old lady home, which was another side of Chiang Rai city…with the sound of the crying all the way; on the other hand, I was so excited all…the way home, I could not wait to tell Moonlight and the crazy doctor.

 

“Hey baby, I think you should wear a helmet tonight. Oh, a sheet, Red? Definitely red.” Joshy.

 

“Yes, Oh, should you get some rope, and a bat? In case you want to jump on its back…like a cowboy on TV.” Moonlight.

 

Moonlight, Joshy, and I were waiting and...waiting. Every time when Mr. Lunatic and Ms. Conscience were best friends, I was always in a situation of life and death.

However, the buffalo did not come, I was very disappointed because I was ready! I had my helmet, my red…sheet for buffalo’s tension and a bat! Can you see how disappointed I was? In the late morning, I got a phone call from Ms. No Water, asking about last night.

 

 

“Well, we were waiting and drinking. I mean, Moonlight and the doctor. I was smoking weed. But, I dressed up for the battle. Every time, when Spider walked passed some brushes, I was in the state for an activity…until 2:00 or 3:00 am. The buffalo must have lost its way and missed my place. It’s quite…brushy here!” Me. (yawny)

 

“Who the fuck is Spider?” Ms. No Water.

 

 

“My neighbour’s puppy. And he’s black. Can you understand the jumpy?” Me.

 

 

“Well, I thought if you’re dead, I’d go back to him...Right now. But…you’re clearly still…Never mind.” Ms. No Water.

 

Last chance for Buddhist membership, Plan B, I needed to find someone, not only an exceptional intellectual, but who also had a good heart; I did not want to cause myocardial infarction …again! Ms. No Water liked to see fortunetellers and therefore she had met someone who could see the past lives of…everyone.

 

He was about 45–50 years old with successes, known to be an intelligent businessman, and he was very religious…Buddhism, his name was Mr. OMG. Awesome, so cool, I loved it. When Ms. No Water asked me if I wanted to go with her to Mr. OMG’s birthday party, I said, “Absolutely, can I bring Moony?”

 

There we were, at a fancy restaurant for fancy foods at the ostentatious birthday….party! There were about 20 people, I guess. Mr. OMG sat in the middle of a long dining table…we sat at the end on the opposite side. The foods were quite exquisite; Moonlight and I were enjoying foods…and talking. Ms. No Water was enjoying…no water, what a nice evening. Until…something was shaking the dining table, so I looked…at Mr. OMG right away, not sure why. He was shaking, his