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and he came in and was rather nervous about what he was about to witness. He held Sadie's hand and after a few big pushes the sounds of a crying newborn echoed in the hospital corridors. It was the 24th of January 2010, at 10:16am and baby girl Ciara was welcomed into the world. The nurse held her up she was so tiny weighing only 2.830kgs. They cleaned her up, wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to Shaun while they were attending to Sadie. In the time that they had been together the couple has never slept apart... This would be their first time until Sadie is discharged.

 

 

When baby Ciara made her entrance at home, there were so many people waiting to welcome her. She was the first great Grandchild from the first grandson. Ciara was growing lovely and Sadie was no longer feeling like she ruined her life. In fact for the first time she felt like her life had some purpose. This little human being needs her and she was the only thing Sadie owned. Shaun was excited about being a dad. Always buying things for Ciara, spending time with her and even changing soiled nappies.  His job must have started to be getting more stressful because suddenly he often came home and provoked fights. There would be arguments for everything.  He used to get upset for the smallest issues and then begin to hit Sadie. One fight got so bad that after so long Sadie couldn't take the hiding anymore. She wanted to end her life; she went into the bathroom, stripped a razor blade with her teeth and slit open her wrists. She looked in the mirror and wondered to herself, why is she starting this again? She gave it up a long while back and what kind of an example is she setting for her daughter?  Before she could even ask herself another question, she fainted. When Neema walked into the bathroom she started screaming. She saw all the blood and thought her daughter had committed suicide. An Ambulance was called and Sadie was taken to hospital.

When she opened her eyes, she realized that she was on a hospital bed that was hard and uncomfortable. Her hands were bandaged up and Shawn was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she saw many beds opposite her with patients that were tied to them.   
Her episode and attempted suicide caused her to be placed in the hospital's psychiatric ward. She was not mentally disabled or insane. She was just tired of getting hurt. What was the fuss about? It's nothing she hadn't done before… That was the problem! When the doctors saw her wrists, they noticed the old cuts and there were so many. This made them think that Sadie was a danger to herself.  The doctor called Shaun in and asked about her behavior at home and with the baby, then she came to Sadie and advised her that she needs to stop cutting her wrists or she will end up in an asylum. Sadie could hear the seriousness in the doctor’s voice and that frightened so she quickly signed the discharge forms and headed home.



CHAPTER 7




Ciara was 8 months old when the couple moved into their first place together. It was nothing fancy, one bedroom outbuilding with an outside bathroom and toilet. They didn’t mind as they were excited to just be in their own space. They furnished it well and called it home. It was walking distance from Neema and Laura in case there was an emergency while Shaun was at work. Ciara was growing lovely they had just gotten a dog whom they named spike. As grown as he was, He was an inside dog. He was never left outside because he was so vicious. Once he got out and bit a man that was walking passed on his private parts! Lucky the matter was solved privately and they didn't have to face a lawsuit or have spike taken away from them and euthanized. He was a loving family dog. Ciara would hold onto him while training herself to walk. This place was home for 2 years until they moved.

 

 

No matter what struggles and hurdles that came by, Sadie wasn't going to quit. She would stick the abuse and the name calling just for the sake of Ciara and the fact that she was unemployed didn't leave her with much of a choice anyway. She accepted that this was her life. She was stuck in a hole that she has dug out for herself. She was a good wife; she appreciated what Shaun did and how hard he worked to support them. Sadie was a fine cook! She loved cooking and cleaning. She did everything a wife was supposed to do for her husband. Shaun wasn’t always a bitter man; there were times when he would be really loving towards her. At the age of twenty, Sadie fell pregnant with baby number two. This time there was no fuss, she was married and they lived on their own with no one to answer to. By now they were staying a big 4 bedroom house with a massive yard that could fit two large swimming pools. It was perfect for their family.  On the 12th December 2010 Sadie gives birth to a healthy baby boy, Jayden. Ciara is almost 3. Sadie's family was now complete. She has her peach and her pear and her desires were fulfilled. The smiles on her children’s faces, gave her the ability to forget what used to happen between Shaun and her. She ignored what a misery her life was at times. There were many good times but the bad outweighed the good. Shaun always pointed how useless she was and never missed an opportunity to point out how he was supporting her. So Sadie decided that she needed to find a job so that she can she assist him with daily expenses and bills. How would she find a job without a matric certificate? She's a 10th grade drop out after all! She didn't give up though; she left the kids her mother-in-law Laura and went out handing out her one page curriculum vitae. Shaun used to accuse her of many other things and pick fights because he thought was lying about going and looking for work. She was lucky enough to get a phone call in that week with a job opportunity. It was at a clothing store in the mall nearby. It wouldn't pay much but it was walking distance and she would get one day off in the week. To her it was better than nothing and she accepted. She learnt to like her job and worked hard. Her boss also owned the restaurant door so she would sit there during lunch. Her Colleagues were two other ladies and it didn't take them long to grow fond of her.



CHAPTER 8



In that same year, they got some dreadful news. Sadie had noticed that Jayden was at the age where he should be walking or crawling at least but he wasn't. Laura said it's because he was chubby. Sadie had other instincts and decided to seek medical advice. The doctor took some blood samples from Jayden for testing and also said that it could be delayed milestones. Sadie and Shaun waited for almost 2 months before they got the results from the lab. The lab report stated that Jayden was diagnosed with a rare muscle disorder called SPINAL MUSCULAR ATROPHY (SMA). They didn't have the slightest clue as to what that was. What made it even worse was that the doctor further explained that there was NO medication, treatment or cure for it and that Jayden might only live to be 2 years of age. Sadie stood there in disbelief. If Jayden was already thirteen months old it would mean she would only have approximately 11 months with him! Which mother wants to hear that? She just couldn't handle what she had heard and Shaun and her both broke down in tears, they didn't stop even after they got home. That day they had to break the news to Laura, Neema and Ron. They couldn't believe it either. Sadie searches for info on the internet on the illness that Jayden has, the images that popped up were scary and made her cry but she had to keep her strength up. That year it so happened that Shaun has been retrenched from work and Sadie was the only one working. This time she was supporting the house... You know what they say... "The table is round!" Jayden was growing well. Thankfully He had no brain damage, his body had low muscle bulk and the doctor mentioned that his organs would give up one at a time. Jayden was unable to stand neither was he able to lift himself up to sit. He couldn't use his legs at all while he could use his hands. Sadie couldn't just sit there and do nothing while day after day her child was losing a bit of his life. She felt so helpless that there was nothing she or anyone could do. It was all in God’s hands now. Financially things were becoming a bit strained and not long after that an article was published on the front page of a newspaper requesting assistance as well a second opinion on Jayden. She didn't want to accept that her child was dying. Not many people responded to their request but those who did, helped a lot. Jayden went for a second and even a third opinion and to Sadie's disappointment, it never changed. Sadie had started working at the restaurant next door now as a waitress. With that came other responsibilities such as washing dishes occasionally and mopping floors daily. She was the only Indian waitress in the entire shopping mall but she didn't mind because the tips she got from the customers really helped out.  The only thing that bothered her was the hours; she knocked off at 22:00pm during her nightshift, sometimes later if they had a big crowd.

 

 

After making sure the place was cleaning after the last customer had left, she would have to wait outside the mall in the dark most of the time alone for her transport to go home. Sadie was robbed and almost killed twice while waiting. Once she was almost stabbed and the second time she was hit on the head with the back of a gun. Thankfully the thugs didn't harm her in any other way or try to molest her. Despite facing all these challenges and fears...she still got up every morning and went to work with a smile on her face. She was always bubbly and her customers loved her. She wore her tragedies like real armor. 
She didn't have everything but she was content with what she had. She was grateful that Jayden was being well taken care off by his dad and that he was a safe. Shaun did a lot at home including the cooking and household chores. On one hand she was sad that by now Jayden was getting older and had become a prisoner of a wheelchair and on the other hand she was happy that he was mobile and could move around instead of being on the sofa the whole time.



CHAPTER 9



Sadie is overwhelmed that Jayden has passed the time limit that doctors gave him and celebrates his third birthday with him. She made a vow that every year she will celebrate his birthday the best way she can because she doesn't know which birthday would be his last with her.  Ciara is in the first grade and doing well. She is the brightest in her class and Sadie makes sure she is short of nothing. Shaun realizes that he needs to generate an income to help Sadie out so he decides to go into money

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