Renesmee, L.Perez [the first e reader .TXT] 📗

before they were, that was the only way I would be able to stop this. My heart beat loudly as the silence of the forest haunted me. As I broke through the clearing, I heard everyone asking Jacob what was wrong with him but getting nothing in return. I walked over to Sarah who wrapped her arms around me but worriedly looked at Embry. The seconds ticked by sluggishly and brought back that terrible day when we awaited the Volturi, and then we heard them, flying through the forest like torpedoes headed straight for a ship. They were around me within seconds. Sarah was frightened but held onto me. “Billy,” Grandpa Carlisle said, and as soon as he did, I felt a sudden calm. I looked over at Uncle Jasper, he was making us all calm but he didn’t look too calm. Aunt Rosalie, Aunt Alice, Grandma Esme and Mom were around me and asking me if I was alright. I nodded but kept my eyes on Dad and Uncle Emmett, who were inching forward, with no intent of calming down. “Jacob,” Grandpa Carlisle confronted directly. Even though Grandpa Carlisle usually was the calmest one, he was having a hard time. “I would have never expected this from you Jacob, you can be disrespectful to me, but never to my family, let alone Renesmee,” Grandpa Carlisle said with anger. “You fucking mutt, I should kill you right now. Having the audacity to speak to my daughter like that,” Dad hissed menacingly, his hands becoming claws at his sides. Aunt Rosalie and Alice hissed in unison, agreeing with Dad. “The damage is done, now step up dog,” Uncle Emmett growled. The pack reacted. Growls and hisses came from everywhere. I looked at Sarah who stared at Embry with utter fear, at Kim who stared at my family with fear, at Jacob who looked at Dad with pure blood thirst. “Stop!” I heard myself shriek. I broke past everyone and went between everyone. “Please, just stop,” I said and then broke down. “I can’t bare to think of losing anyone of you, please, no fighting,” I pleaded with everyone, making eye contact with everyone. Dad walked up to me and hugged me. “Of course love, I would never hurt you,” Dad said and rubbed my face. “Haven’t you done that a few times already?” Jacob taunted. Dad looked up. Mom came up beside me and spoke to Jacob. “I never thought you’d do something like this to Renesmee and that is exactly why we never stopped her from being with you…but now you’ve proved me wrong and you should be ashamed,” Mom whispered with anger and regret. “Spare me the lecture Bella,” Jacob said sharply. “Jacob,” Billy cautioned. “Watch yourself or I will rip that mouth of yours right off,” Dad hissed, breathing deeply now. “How many times have you threatened me and done nothing, huh? Nothing!” Jacob mockingly yelled and then suddenly laughed hysterically. I stared at him and didn’t even know who he was anymore. A growl that had been building from Dad’s soles to his head escaped and shook everything, as Dad shifted forward. “Jacob!” I screamed. Everyone looked at me, including Jacob. “I don’t even know who you are anymore,” I whispered and backed away. Jacob looked at me and for a second, it seemed like he didn’t know who he was either. “Jacob, I love you, why would you accuse me of such a thing?” I asked. “Who cares? I don’t care anymore. He can have you, I don’t want this bullshit relationship anymore, I’m done!” Jacob shouted right in my face. I stared at him, trying to swallow what he just said. Hisses erupted from everywhere. “What?” I asked. “You heard me,” Jacob said angrily. It felt like my face would fall off. “Jacob…you can’t do this, why, what,” I blubbered, trying to make a coherent sentence. “Were done Renesmee, now leave,” Jacob said with a smirk, like he enjoyed my pain. “Jacob,” I whispered, trying to breath. “What, gonna kill me cause I dumped your daughter? You can’t, there’s no law saying I have to be with her, not like we’re soul mates or any of that bullshit,” Jacob shouted and laughed again. “Were going to take our leave now before any accidents happen,” Grandpa Carlisle said, not even trying to hide his anger. Everyone stiffly departed but not without giving Jacob the ultimate stare down. “I’m sorry Edward and Bella, I really didn’t see this coming,” Billy whispered with pain. Mom and Dad stiffly nodded but said nothing. I walked, numb, beside everyone, and tried to focus on nothing but breathing in and out. No one spoke as we flew home. Once in the house I walked up the stairs and into my room and once inside my room, I sat in the rocking chair and let the tears come. I stared at the dark sky and prayed that this would just be a dream, that Jacob still loved me, that it wasn’t over.

Book Two: A New Start. 

Chapter One, Book Two: Coming Back To Reality.

Life ceased to mean anything as he spoke those hurtful words. Every promise, every touch, every kiss…all lies. All along, he said he loved me and that I was all he wanted…and I was stupid enough to believe it. The unbearable pain that radiated through my shredded heart sharpened and stole my breath. My lungs opened wider and wider for air but air wouldn’t come. I was gasping, trying to get some air, as the pain throbbed through me, from the tip of my head to the soles of my feet. “No,” I thought. “Please, not today,” I pleaded. I found myself lying on the floor, lying flat on my face trying unsuccessfully to open my airways. “Think through it Renesmee,” I told myself. “It’s only a panic attack, you’re not dying, calm,” I whispered to myself, trying to do what the doctor had explained. “Come on breathe, breathe,” I whispered, hoping it would work, but I’d gone too far this time, I’d cross the boundaries of sanity and now I didn’t know how to bring myself back. Everything just kept replaying over and over again. My breathing would not slow and my head was spinning so fast, I knew without a doubt that if I didn’t control this panic attack, I was going to pass out. “You’ve been through worse Renesmee,” I whispered. And then everything became clear; I seemed to have found my lungs again and now gasped mouthfuls of air and the room was no longer spinning wildly out of control. It was over and I was still alive. I breathed in and out and waited until my heart returned to its regular pattern and slowly got up. I lay on the bed, so exhausted from the panic attack and thought. Usually I would only have to sit for a few minutes but this panic attack was the worst I’ve had in five years. Yeah, it had been five years ago but my heart still ached and the memories were so crisp and fresh, like it just happened today. I laid there, exhausted, and closed my eyes. Sleeping was usually the worse time for me. I couldn’t stop my mind from rewinding, but after such a terrible panic attack, my mind had nothing to dream of, just myself in thought really. We were going back to Forks in a few weeks. That might sound normal but the truth was it was anything but normal. I hadn’t gone back once these past five years. Shortly after Jacob moved on, Grandpa Charlie passed, and half of me went with him. I shattered into thousands of pieces, some going that way, some going this way; There was no way I could be put back together. Things weren’t getting any better with me and I was becoming much more depressed when my dear loving mother (Lots of sarcasm there) informed me that Jacob had in fact been in love with her, much earlier before my birth and that his love for her only ‘ceased’ when I was born. That was just too much. Right after I discovered this hideous secret, I moved out. I grabbed my phone, and left the house with nothing but the clothes on my back. I ran to Luna’s and moved in for the remainder of the summer until we left for college. Mom tried to see me but I refused. I occasionally would see Dad but never Mom. I knew that Jacob falling in love with her wasn’t her fault but she was the reason he’d left me, she was the reason he couldn’t love me and that was enough to make me despise her. After the summer, I moved all the way to California and started attending California State with Luna. Why so far? Because I wanted to be far, far away from everything, being anywhere…green reminded me too much of what I’d lost. I called the family on special occasions and birthdays but never visited and when ever Mom tried to talk to me, I refused to talk. Whenever Dad was on the phone he tried to persuade me to come home or talk to Mom, both of which I refused, and once in a while, Dad would mention Billy and then I’d have a panic attack right there. After a few panic attacks, Dad realized to not speak of the family that had once been so dear to me. I actually never intended to go back, too much pain and loss for me, and I thought that was going to stay that way…until that one faithful day, a knock came from the apartment door. Our apartment was expensive and since I was trying not to rely on Dad’s money for College, Luna and I needed help with rent. I expected nothing more than a roommate as I opened the door, but I was wrong. “Renesmee,” whispered a voice I knew all too well as I looked into gray-blue eyes.

I gasped awake as I felt lips touch my face. Blake looked back at me with worry. “Are you okay beautiful?” Blake asked in a hushed whisper. I sat up and slowly nodded. Blake wrapped his arms around me, which made me feel better; when ever Blake touched me, I was always better. “Thanks,” I said and kissed his cheek. We sat there for a while when Blake spoke. “Renesmee, we really don’t have to do this, you know that right?” “I know Blake, but I want to.” Blake sighed and hugged me closer. “As long as I have you, I can do anything,” I whispered and hugged him just a bit tighter. Blake pulled back and cupped my cheek. “Always,” he vowed. I smiled, knowing he spoke the god honest truth and kissed him. After, Blake left for work down at the hospital; he was always on call. I wondered down to the living room trying to find Luna and Kaine. It didn’t smell like they were home, must’ve gone hunting. I decided to go make something just to do something. I pulled out the basic vegetables for fried rice and the basic sauces. After finely chopping the carrots, cilantro, green onion, peppers and chicken, I filled a large pot with some oil and dumped the chicken in to cook and scooped a large bowl of rice out. While waiting for the chicken to fully cook, I reminded myself that I had to call Dad…and Mom. Just thinking of seeing her made me chew my inner cheek and made my heart throb, because not only was I seeing her face, I was seeing his. I stopped right there. I couldn’t put myself through that again, not today. I took a deep breath and redirected my thoughts. Enough procrastinating, I had to do this. Slowly, I inched toward the phone by the window and hesitantly lifted the phone and dialed the almost forgotten number.