Medical Life in the Navy, Gordon Stables [classic fiction .txt] 📗
- Author: Gordon Stables
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my appointment--to join the service in reality.
It was a cold raw morning, with a grey and cheerless sky, and a biting
south-wester blowing up channel, and ruffling the water in the Solent.
Alongside of the pier the boats and wherries were all in motion,
scratching and otherwise damaging their gunwales against the stones, as
they were lifted up and down at the pleasure of the wavelets. The
boatmen themselves were either drinking beer at adjacent bars, or
stamping up and down the quay with the hopes of enticing a little warmth
to their half-frozen toes, and rubbing the ends of their noses for a
like purpose. Suddenly there arose a great commotion among them, and
they all rushed off to surround a gentleman in brand-new naval uniform,
who was looking, with his mouth open, for a boat, in every place where a
boat was most unlikely to be. Knowing at a glance that he was a
stranger, they very generously, each and all of them, offered their
services, and wanted to row him somewhere--anywhere. After a great deal
of fighting and scrambling among themselves, during which the officer
got tugged here and tugged there a good many times, he was at last
bundled into a very dirty cobble, into which a rough-looking boatman
bounded after him and at once shoved off.
The naval officer was myself--the reader's obsequious slave. As for the
boatman, one thing must be said in his favour, he seemed to be a person
of religious character--in one thing at least, for, on the Day of
Judgment, I, for one, will not be able to turn round and say to him "I
was a stranger and ye took me not in," for he did take me in. In fact,
Portsmouth, as a town, is rather particular on this point of
Christianity: they do take strangers in.
"Where away to?" asked the jolly waterman, leaning a moment on his oars.
"H.M.S. `Victory,'" replied I.
"Be going for to join, I dessay, sir?"
"You are right," said I; "but have the goodness to pull so that I may
not be wet through on both sides."
"Can't help the weather, sir."
"I'll pay here," said I, "before we go alongside."
"Very good, sir."
"How much?"
"Only three shillings, sir."
"_Only_ three shillings!" I repeated, and added "eh?"
"That's all, sir--distance is short you know."
"Do you mean to say," said I, "that you really mean to charge--"
"Just three bob," interrupting me; "flag's up--can see for yourself,
sir."
"The flag, you see--I mean my good man--don't tell me about a flag, I'm
too far north for you;" and I tried to look as northish as possible.
"Flag, indeed! humph!"
"Why, sir," said the man of oars, with a pitying expression of
countenance and voice, "flag means double fare--anybody'll tell you
that, sir."
"Nonsense?" said I; "don't tell me that any one takes the trouble of
hoisting a flag in order to fill your confounded pockets; there is half
a crown, and not a penny more do you get from me."
"Well, sir, o' condition you has me again, sir, you know, sir,--and my
name's McDonald;" and he pocketed the money, which I afterwards
discovered was a _leetle_ too much. "McDonald," thought I--"my
grandmother's name; the rascal thinks to come round me by calling
himself a Scotchman--the idea of a McDonald being a waterman!"
"Sir," said I, aloud, "it is my unbiassed opinion and firm conviction
that you are--" I was going to add "a most unmitigated blackguard," but
I noticed that he was a man of six feet two, with breadth in proportion,
so I left the sentence unfinished.
We were now within sight of the bristling sides of the old `Victory,' on
the quarter-deck of which fell the great and gallant Nelson in the hour
of battle and triumph; and I was a young officer about to join that
service which can boast of so many brave and noble men, and brave and
noble deeds; and one would naturally expect that I would indulge in a
few dreams of chivalry and romance, picture to myself a bright and
glorious future, pounds' weight of medals and crosses, including the
Victoria, kiss the hilt of my sword, and all that sort of thing. I did
not. I was too wretchedly cold for one reason, and the only feeling I
had was one of shyness; as for duty, I knew I could and would do that,
as most of my countrymen had done before me; so I left castle-building
to the younger sons of noblemen or gentry, whose parents can afford to
allow them two or three hundred pounds a year to eke out their pay and
smooth the difficulties of the service. Not having been fortunate
enough to be born with even a horn spoon in my mouth, I had to be
content with my education as my fortune, and my navy pay as my only
income.
"Stabird side, I dessay, sir?" said the waterman.
"Certainly," said I, having a glimmering idea that it must be the proper
side.
A few minutes after--"The Admiral's gig is going there, sir,--better
wait a bit." I looked on shore and _did_ see a gig, and two horses
attached to it.
"No," said I, "decidedly not, he can't see us here, man. I suppose you
want to go sticking your dirty wet oars in the air, do you?"--(I had
seen pictures of this performance). "Drive on, I mean pull ahead, my
hearty"--a phrase I had heard at the theatre, and considered highly
nautical.
The waterman obeyed, and here is what came of it. We were just
approaching the ladder, when I suddenly became sensible of a rushing
noise. I have a dim recollection of seeing a long, many-oared boat,
carrying a large red flag, and with an old grey-haired officer sitting
astern; of hearing a voice--it might have belonged to the old man of the
sea, for anything I could have told to the contrary--float down the
wind,--
"Clear the way with that (something) bumboat!" Then came a crash, my
heels flew up--I had been sitting on the gunwale--and overboard I went
with a splash, just as some one else in the long boat sang out. "Way
enough!"
Way enough, indeed! there was a little too much way for me. When I came
to the surface of the water, I found myself several yards from the
ladder, and at once struck out for it. There was a great deal of noise
and shouting, and a sailor held towards me the sharp end of a boathook;
but I had no intention of being lugged out as if I were a pair of canvas
trowsers, and, calling to the sailor to keep his pole to himself--did he
want to knock my eye out?--I swam to the ladder and ascended. Thus then
I joined the service, and, having entered at the foot of the ladder, I
trust some day to find myself at the top of it.
And, talking of joining the service, I here beg to repudiate, as an
utter fabrication, the anecdote--generally received as authentic in the
service--of the Scotch doctor, who, going to report himself for the
first time on board of the `Victory,' knocked at the door, and inquired
(at a marine, I think), "Is this the Royal Nauvy?--'cause I'm come till
jine." The story bears "fib" on the face of it, for there is not a
Scottish schoolboy but knows that one ship does not make a navy, any
more than one swallow does a summer.
But, dear intending candidate, if you wish to do the right thing, array
yourself quietly in frock-coat, cap--not cocked hat, remember--and
sword, and go on board your ship in any boat you please, only keep out
of the way of gigs. When you arrive on board, don't be expecting to see
the admiral, because you'll be disappointed; but ask a sailor or marine
to point you out the midshipman of the watch, and request the latter to
show you the commander. Make this request civilly, mind you; do not
pull his ear, because, if big and hirsute, he might beat you, which
would be a bad beginning. When you meet the commander, don't rush up
and shake him by the hand, and begin talking about the weather; walk
respectfully up to him, and lift your cap as you would to a lady; upon
which he will hurriedly point to his nose with his forefinger, by way of
returning the salute, while at the same time you say--
"_Come_ on board, sir--to _join_, sir."
It is the custom of the Service to make this remark in a firm, bold,
decided tone, placing the emphasis on the "_come_" to show clearly that
you _did come_, and that no one kicked, or dragged, or otherwise brought
you on board against your will. The proper intonation of the remark may
be learned from any polite waiter at a hotel, when he tells you,
"Dinner's ready, sir, please;" or it may be heard in the "Now then,
gents," of the railway guard of the period.
Having reported yourself to the man of three stripes, you must not
expect that he will shake hands, or embrace you, ask you on shore to
tea, and introduce you to his wife. No, if he is good-natured, and has
not had a difference of opinion with the captain lately, he _may_
condescend to show you your cabin and introduce you to your messmates;
but if he is out of temper, he will merely ask your name, and, on your
telling him, remark, "Humph!" then call the most minute midshipman to
conduct you to your cabin, being at the same time almost certain to
mispronounce your name. Say your name is Struthers, he will call you
Stutters.
"Here, Mr Pigmy, conduct Mr Stutters to his cabin, and show him where
the gunroom--ah! I beg his pardon, the wardroom--lies."
"Ay, ay, sir," says the middy, and skips off at a round trot, obliging
you either to adopt the same ungraceful mode of progression, or lose
sight of him altogether, and have to wander about, feeling very much
from home, until some officer passing takes pity on you and leads you to
the wardroom.
CHAPTER FIVE. - HASLAR HOSPITAL. THE MEDICAL MESS. DR GRUFF.
It is a way they have in the service, or rather it is the custom of the
present Director-General, not to appoint the newly-entered medical
officer at once to a sea-going ship, but instead to one or other of the
naval hospitals for a few weeks or even months, in order that he may be
put up to the ropes, as the saying is, or duly initiated into the
mysteries of service and routine of duty. This is certainly a good
idea, although it is a question whether it would not be better to adopt
the plan they have at Netley, and thus put the navy and army on the same
footing.
Haslar Hospital at Portsmouth is a great rambling barrack-looking block
of brick building, with a yard or square surrounded by high walls in
front, and with two wings extending from behind, which, with the chapel
between, form another and smaller square.
There are seldom fewer than a thousand patients within, and, independent
of a whole regiment of male and female nurses, sick-bay-men, servants,
cooks, _et id genus omne_, there is a regular staff of officers,
consisting of a captain--of what use I have yet to learn--two medical
inspector-generals, generally three or four surgeons, the same number of
regularly appointed assistant-surgeons, besides from ten to twenty
acting assistant-surgeons [Note 1] waiting for appointments, and doing
duty as supernumeraries. Of this last class I myself was a member.
Soon as the clock tolled the hour of eight in the morning, the
staff-surgeon of our side of the hospital stalked into the duty cabin,
where we, the assistants, were waiting to receive him. Immediately
after, we set out on the morning visit, each of us armed with a little
board or palette to be used as a writing-desk, an excise inkstand slung
in a buttonhole, and a quill behind the ear. The large doors were
thrown open, the beds neat and tidy, and the nurses "standing by."
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