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I would rather forget about her. She hurt me real bad man and it’s cool that you want to reconnect but the only mom I have is Sadie Wilson” I put my hand to my heart. Though Felicia wrapped my hand last weekend it still felt sore it wasn’t broken because my fingers moved. She’s been dodging my calls lately but she’d come around she always did. I glanced at my watch letting him know his time is short. In about 1 hour my phone would be blowing up with my Wednesday girl she gets off work at 1pm today. I had her change her schedule to fit mine. She said she had a surprise for me. I bet it was Michael Jordan’s white autographed NC Tarheel’s throwback jersey that cost $1,505. I didn’t ask her for it merely suggested but she’s been pulling double shifts for the past three weeks now.

“I’m about to pull out you need a ride somewhere?” I was trying hard not to be rude but if he wanted to sit and talk about his mom I wasn’t in the mood.

“I’m going to see her next Wednesday” I froze what the hell was he trying to pull?

“Ok that’s cool”

“I told her your coming too” I flipped, this little nigga came to test me.

“Amir, get the fuck out right now. I’m not going nowhere and I’m not sending her shit. Get your dumb ass out of my house” He wasn’t budging which meant he was set on getting his ass beat. He stood up from the couch and reached into his back pocket pulling out three envelopes and dropped them on the coffee table.

“I’m praying for you Rah, I’m praying God will soften your heart” He was laying it on thick but I didn’t feel like feeling guilty.

“Don’t waste your time but pray that God will keep me off your ass, now get the hell out” I wanted to throw those letters out with him but I swear I wanted to know what they said more.

Right then I hated Amir for coming here and for telling her that I was coming to see her.

I forced myself to walk into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Just like clockwork my phone started ringing and if I didn’t answer on the first try she would be acting crazy.

“Baby?” I could hear her talking but my mind was still on Amir and those letters.

“Yeah, who dis?”

“You don’t know me now?” She sounded like she wanted to play but I wasn’t in the mood.

“Look don’t call here with the fucking games, who the fuck is this?” See this is where my old man went wrong and it cost him his life. He needed to know when to be smooth and when to put a broad in check.

“Sheila, what’s your problem?” She sounded more hurt than angry.

“Aww baby I’m sorry. My brother just gave me bad news you forgive me?” I tried to sound as sincere as I could and it worked.

“I forgive you, you ready to see me?” She sounded excited so I knew something good was coming.

“I’m always ready to see you”

“Good meet me at my house in about an hour” she hung up before I could respond but I’m on it. In the shower I tried to wash away my brother’s words but I couldn’t, I couldn’t stop thinking about the letters on my coffee table. Why did he choose today to drop some ole crazy shit on me? I quickly threw on my clothes before grabbing the letters and stuffing them in my back pocket. I convinced myself that they really didn’t matter.

******************

 

Five hours and a new pair of Sean John sunglasses, fresh pair of white Jordan’s and my new Michael Jordan throwback jersey later I felt like a million bucks. Sheila held out on her gift giving until after she laid it on me, black stilettos and all. I kissed her on the forehead before promising to call later tonight. I liked Sheila but she reminded me of a puppy always looking for approval and as jacked up as I am I couldn’t see myself completely ruining her life too. The bulge of the letters forced me to remember what I really didn’t care to that my egg donor was trying to reach out. I drove around looking for a place to park until I found a quiet spot at Fairmount Park. It was nothing but a grassy area. There were no benches or picnic tables so I sat in my car and pulled out the first envelope. It had my name on it but Amir’s address.

Dear Raheim,

I know this letter is about 15 years to late but I’m sorry.

Sorry that I was caught up in my world, that I wasn’t

strong enough for you and your brother. I’m not gonna

ask you to forgive me, not even forget but just hear my side.

As much as I wanted to be pissed, to feed her trifling ass letters to the birds I kept reading. She went on to explain how my pops promised to take care of us. That he said he was coming to take me and Amir shopping and when he didn’t show up she was so pissed that he kept promising us shit that when she saw my face and couldn’t stop seeing his she was scared she might hurt me. That was the day she kicked me out. She wanted me back but Aunt Sadie wasn’t tryna hear that shit and the night she shot him was right after he promised to take me to church.

When she called my aunt’s house and my aunt Sadie said he never came home that was the last straw. She took her father’s shotgun out of his gun case and went looking for him. When she saw his silver Volvo parked in front of her rival’s house the same Volvo that she co-signed for she shot the door down. They had the music so loud they didn’t hear it. When she kicked the bedroom door in all she could see was the Italian broad riding him into the sunset. She said that didn’t make her pull the trigger. It was after my pops spotted her and started laughing like he knew she was a punk. That set her off before she knew it her finger pressed the trigger and the impact blasted his chest wide open. The Italian broad was all out of laughs by then. She started scrambling to get away. My mom didn’t want to kill her just make her pay so she blew both her legs off leaving her in a wheelchair for life. I didn’t want to cry but the tears slid down my face involuntarily. I never thought to look at things through my mom’s eyes. My father was an ass but it still didn’t change what happened there was plenty of single mom’s in the world that didn’t kill their baby daddies but then again there were a lot that had. I decided I had enough emotion for the day so I put the letters away and sat for a while. I would never understand that kind of love that would make a man and woman go that crazy. I knew one thing was for sure I would never be like either of them. I was satisfied being in love with myself.

My phone started to ring. The number on the caller ID said it was my old Tuesday Kelly. I didn’t come to see her yesterday or for the last few weeks before that and she’s been blowing my phone up ever since. I answered on the fourth ring.

“Yeah?”

“Raheim?” She sounded shocked that I answered.

“Yessss, who’s this?” I knew that would piss her off.

“It’s Kelly why you didn’t come over yesterday?” She was suppressing her irritation.

“Because I was busy, why you miss me?

“You know I do” her voice softened a bit.

“Oh ok why you calling me anyway? You told me not to come back remember?”

“Raheim stop playing”

“That’s just it baby girl. I’m not playing. You have too many damn mood swings and I don’t have time for that shit. Why you not at work anyway?”

“Because I wanted to make up from last week”

“So you call out of work?” That alone was enough for a cut. I didn’t roll with slackers you were either up on your game or you weren’t. That reminded me of today’s engagement in Atlantic City. I had two of the finest chic’s working on my business.

“Kelly I’m gonna put it to you like this. I liked you, a lot but I don’t think I can provide you with what you’re looking for”

“Don’t try to feed me with the bullshit Raheim. You probably fuckin somebody right now. One of these days your damn dick gonna fall off.” I couldn’t help but laugh. I swear the redbones are the craziest.

“Time is money so later”

“Wait” she screamed before I could flip my phone shut.

“I don’t care what you say you’re mine. I love you boo and I’m sorry for acting a little off but I have a lot of shit going on right now. Stuff you don’t even know about. Let me prove it to you just come over and I’ll do it to you better than anybody else. You know you want it”

“I’m gonna pass. Take care of yourself Kelly” I flipped my phone shut I’m convinced that her ass is bipolar. I would need to run home for a quick shower and change of clothes. I had to meet up with Alexis and Maya at the Trump Taj Mahal by 10pm. These broads were the best in the business. I met Maya first about two years ago when I was on one of my regular trips to AC. It was cold as hell and I was donning my waist length black and white Chinchilla jacket, True Religion jeans and my new black leather timberlands. I had just come in and sat at the bar when I was approached by Maya a tall, curly head slender honey. She wasn’t my initial type but she had on a slinky black dress with 4 inch heels so I made an exception. She stroked my jacket a few times and I knew she was gaming when she started whispering that sexy shit in my ear. I stood up and walked away, I never let any broad think I was pressed save that for the tricks or the bum dudes. Like I expected she was walking behind me.

“Oh, I’m sorry that wasn’t an invitation.” I left her standing there speechless. She spotted me again at the high roller machines and outright asked.

“Are you gay?” It was hard not to laugh. It was so easy to knock a woman off her square.

“No, I’m just not into prostitutes” ‘I knew my words would sting and I intended for them to. After several minutes of silence she started to cry not actual boo hooing but a few tears.

“You’re an asshole”

“Actually I’m not, what I said was true I’m not into prostitutes and I know a woman as fine as you don’t need to be hustling these streets.”

“Who are you Jesus’ side kick?” She snapped back with a don’t judge me stare.

“No far from it. All I’m saying is that while you’re out here taking the streets money is being lost.”

“I don’t want a pimp. The only person getting paid from my pussy is me” I didn’t want to tell her that what she was getting was far less than what was taken from her.

“Fair enough but I’m not a pimp just a dude who gone take you upscale.” That was the beginning of a beautiful working relationship. I turned her on to my corporate connects who was willing to pay $5,000 a week to see her pretty ass. These dudes weren’t bum dudes either I’m talking suckas who made six figure incomes and rode around in Ferrari’s and Rolls Royce’s. Took vacations

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