All the beautiful daughters of Mara, Ashok Aatreya [black male authors .TXT] 📗

who was his classmate and she became pregnant from Anand.The day she heared that news from his own husbabd innumerable poisoned needles pierced her ear.It was a great shock and she with difficulty could stop herself from crying.She felt as if an ocean of intoxication had dried in her life.Now she was a moon without beams

The grass was no greener now,still she could not keep her away from Anand's memories.Her strange behavior was noticed but ignored by her husband but when her activities and day to day routine were becoming perplexing , she was taken to Jaipur for investigations and treatment to Dr. Vyas, the psychiatrist, .Her husband Nandu Maharaj had never thought about her deep involvement with Anand whom he always considered a sensitive good boy and almost a member of family to the extend that he even requested Anand to stay at his home during those nights when ever he had to go to some out station because of government duties…and what all was going between his wife and Anand had never come in his simple mind…Unfortunately all was not that rosy as he thought ..Only at one or two occasions he definitely expressed her anger on Sonal…when she ignored her children and went to see movie in his absence and left his children in their relatives home …But all such things also did not sow any seed of suspicion in N.M’s mind…He was happy in his own ways of doing things and thinking about life from his own point of view.
Although a thing of worry and reaction for Sonal was this that his husband spent most of his time in the company of very cheap type of persons from lower strata of society. She specially did not like the coming of Girdher in her house who was son of a washer man but became a Physical Training Instructor in some private girls school…Actually he had seen Sonal and Anand taking a special box ticket of one movie ‘Anajana Safar’ and reported that matter to his husband…The day following their motion picture day , there was a tough fight for the first time of Sonal with her husband that even climaxed to Physical beating of Sonal by him…and that day he used some strong abusive words for Anand also which went deep into Sonal’s heart and from that moment a feeling of inner sin stormed her mind. Actually the mistake was from her side….
It was very late in the odd hours of night that Nandu Maharaj returned from Shivbari, a place of his regular visit and there was intermittent rains ,thunders and dark clouds…the light of moon was very thin…it distributed in the desert land of limited Khejari plantations outside the home of Sonal giving a pale grey landscape image to the surroundings of Dheenganiabasi…Sonal as usual stopped Anand since she was alone…Nathia Baba had also gone to attend to some urgent work…the dogs often barked and made weeping noises some time. .Overall the night seemed horrible…From distance N.M was returning in his slow paddled bicycle .He kept his bicycle in support of the mud-wall locked it and strode rapidly towards Veranda of his house where both Sonal and Anand were sitting on straw chairs, waiting for his return. Instead of looking formally towards them or telling anything he went inside like a thief in his own home. The very next moment Anand also left Sonal’s home although she requested him to stay and sleep there only since it was very late night hour…and the moment Sonal observed some tension on her husband’s face, she reacted in her angry mood on him—‘First you come late…and even don’t bother to talk …we were waiting for you …you never cared how badly it is raining …and what hour of your coming…you don’t think all that…even no words for Anand who…stayed here because…I am alone in the night…you did not utter a single word of thank for him…’
Nandu Maharaj was still silent…as there was something wrong with him…He had taken some liquor…and in Sonal’s married life. it was the first time that her husband came home in this state…His body and face smelling with some cheap local drink…Tadi.
It was beyond her tolerance. She became violent—‘Nandu have you taken some cheap drink..?...Where did you go …Not Shivbaari…where were you so long…Now go back to your same Girdher…who is after you…He will take your life one day…why have you come home…with what face…I say you leave this home immediately…If your children see you in this state what they will think of you…Nandu…do you listen me…I say go to your Girdher who is going to feed you all of your life…How he left you in such condition…I say go to some well and both of you fall in that…die…I say die…’Sonal was creating a scene and N.M was hearing all this silently ..But then all of a sudden he broke—‘You swine…Whore… will you keep silent or I come to stop you from crying.’
It was beyond Sonal’s imagination that N.M will at all react to her words like this...and before she would react further her husband came close to her and bashed her over the head with his hard punch…which she cold not bear and fell down on her bed, almost lost to realize what exactly had happened to her…She was shivering and almost became speechless. The whole night there was no dialogue between them and when she woke from this dreadful sleep she found Nandu out of home…For three days he did not come home and took over saffron clothes wanted to become a sadhu…but ultimately discovered from Shivbaari by his father and Anand and was brought home…Nandu told Anand that he felt sorry for what happened that night…since he was under the influence of liquor…his mind was beyond his own control…But since that day Sonal was became increasingly disoriented in her social obligations and even started a short of detachment in the family matters, like schooling of her second kid, with whom she spent maximum time outside her husband's home and lived in Jaisalmer for a change. Her maternal uncle wanted her to be free from her family burdens and he called her to this golden city for relaxation temporarily.


57/ AT THE MERCY OF EVIL,


Sonal was at the mercy of the evil … Her past life and her own self was shattered inventing shocking thoughts. Her heart was throbbing emotions, threatening to pierce her existence. Packed with abnormal feelings, she was losing her own posture. From tip to toe pressures of different kinds were over-ruling her normal mind.
She was being surrounded by unknown and absolutely un-concerned persons, those have never been important in her life. Her head was blowing hot, eyes boring deep, melting mass of graphite in ears, lips stitched, shoulders, hands, legs, fingers, nails and the skin- everything disagreeing with her. She was in the hot bed.
The evil in her was ready to destroy her out and out but after a prayer and submission; the lady of mercy, the most kind hearted one the almighty Goddess had granted her a sigh of relief… the darkest cloud of distress was running from her over-head.
In dreams and sometime after insomnia and half sleeps she would come under the spell of a long torture and felt as if from chins to her head she felt non-existent, eyes sunken with sneaky expression like a criminal. Her brain was almost damaged and it so seemed that the lethal out burst was inevitable. She came to a state of mind when she often asked herself - what was the basic essence of her existence? Was it insomnia? For getting out of the trouble she would several times change her clothes and brush her teeth, wash her face and stand before the mirror but her every action had the equal reaction and that reaction proved her wrong. She many times made a practice of undressing himself and got into bed always at the juncture of the last hours of night and the next morning, which was never a welcome sign to her existence.
She felt pressure of sleep almost at once, but got up with a shock, feeling as if she had not slept at all. She got out of bed and lighted the lamp. She tried to occupy her mind by remembering the old age text of religious books and uttered one thousand words of Vishnu Sahasra Naam, several days for keeping her mind in peace which was becoming very difficult.
In the morning many references had gone far away from her and she was consciously trying to avoid some names and places from the frame-work of her mind. From any single word or reference she would jump to another word of no importance in her life to avoid unrest but her effort would turn to a new conflicting situation…She was helpless.
One fateful night, overlapping images and conflicting ideas were floating in her mind as hot wind. The unfortunate part of her life was that –‘She had already passed through many such tedious sleepless nights before and that was becoming a routine now. So she was ultimately referred to Mr. Vyas mental hospital and was admitted there for treatment.


58/SHE WANTED A DIAMOND
Anand left for Jaipur after completing some formal ceremonies of death of Bhairvi. There was urgency of him since the condition of Sonal was deteriorating day-by-day.The public did not know what type of special relations he was having with her no relation but to him Sonal was his piece of his heart. Her life was very precious to him and he never thought to miss her. Even at this stage, when he was almost remained away from her, she stood in his memories and her feelings never died in him. These were as fresh as the morning breeze, like petals of lotus... as bright as the North Star shining in the sky.
Anand opened the door of the private ward of Sonal. She was under the treatment of Mr. Vyas who was a very senior specialist and profound friend of Mr. Anand... still it was a surprise for Mr. Vyas to see him… the cabinet Home Minister in his age old mental hospital in Jaipur. Although in the student life when Anand was also writing some column in some local daily he used to meet him often in search of some sensational stories for which he never encouraged him. But now he was the Minister in the central government.
His visit as Home Minister was very important for Mr. Vyas and he was also curious to know about the underlying connection of Mr. Anand Sharma with his patient Sonal who was a serious case of schizophrenia.
…’Person’ unable to limit his thought, emotion and behavior, leading to withdraw from reality and personal relationships, normally suffer from it.
Vyas told Anand that his treatment will help his patient to ‘re-live his past and understand the motivations that up to now have been out of her mental frame work. The understanding can free her from her guilt and repressions, with resulting beneficial changes in personality’.
It was quite a bizarre but hidden urge of Sonal that she wanted a child of some “unknown” person who was an ideal icon for her…It was in a very difficult manner she was convinced that among all mammals only the human female and the cow-elephant out live the years of child bearing…and unfortunately she can not conceive any child now.. She might adopt another child… She was against the very concept of adoption…as her two children were gems for her...still she wanted a diamond… She remembered that some one important in her life had presented her a diamond…but this was not true as there was no gift of