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of him and I immediately felt the warmth of his body.
“If you stay you can have me.” I tried to bribe him.
“Don’t tease me.” He said and put his hands on my shoulder. He ran his hands down my sides and then he touched my thigh. I kissed his lips. He kissed mine and then I bit his bottom lip. I let go of it and then he kissed me again. His tongue touched my bottom lip as I opened my mouth. He pulled the sheets over both our bodies.
“I love you.” He mumbled.
“I love you too.” I said back to him. In the same second I ended that sentence my door swung open. There stood Jesse, his mouth open and eyes wide. I rolled off Alan and hide myself behind the bed.
“Dammit Jesse!” I shouted as Alan adjusted himself so nothing showed.
“Hey man, whats up.” Alan said casually. I quickly looked for my panties, bra and some sort of covering. I found my panties and bra and quickly put them on. I looked for my clothes but I couldn’t find the. I saw Alan’s blue button up shirt so I slid it over my head. It was long enough so my undies didn’t show.
“Jane!” Jesse said and came into the room. He shut and locked the door behind him. I came out from behind the bed. I picked up the sheet I used to cover myself and I threw it to Alan.
“Thanks babe.” He said and covered himself.
“Whats this?” Jesse asked.
“Its nothing.” I told him.
“Don’t tell me its nothing!” He screamed.
“Sh! Keep your voice down! Mom’s going to hear you.” I warned him.
“Maybe she should hear me!” Jesse said quieter. Jesse looked at Alan. Alan smiled a crooked grin trying to say sorry without words. I was so embarrassed at this point. Jesse started walking towards Alan.
“Jesse, stop!” I told him while holding him back.
“Come on, were all friends here.” Alan tried convincing him.
“You sir, are not my friend.” Jesse said and stopped fighting me trying to hold him back.
“It just happened Jesse. Don’t hurt him.” I begged and look into his eyes. “I’m not a little girl anymore. I can decide things for myself.”
“But you are still a little girl.” He said and touched my cheek.
“But I’m not.” I told him. He sighed.
“At least told me you used some sort of protection.” He said. I looked down at my feet. Everything happened kinda fast, I didn’t get a chance to think about it. “Oh God!” He said and ran out of the room. He came back with a little box. He opened it up and pulled out a little stick. He handed to me.
“Pee on it.” He demanded. Alan sat up and look for his boxers.
“Do what?” I asked him. Was he crazy?
“Pee on it.” He demanded again.
“Where did you find this?” I asked him.
“Mom’s room. Now pee on it before I go get her.” He demanded. I was disgusted that my mother would still need pregnancy test but I was a little more concerned that my brother wanted me to take one.
“Jesse, you do know that you have to wait like two or more weeks to take a pregnancy test.” I told him. Alan was behind my bed putting on his boxers and his muscle shirt. When he came out he had just that on. He then slid on his pants but not his shirt because I was wearing it.
“I’m just worried.” He confessed.
“Don’t worry, I pulled out.” Alan said while putting an arm around me. I put my hands over my head in disbelief that he actually just told my older brother that. Jesse tried charging him but again, I held him back.
“Wait for me down stairs.” I asked Jesse. He turned around and walked out. I shut the door and locked it. I took off Alan’s shirt and gave it too him. He pulled me close and kissed me. I placed my hand on his chest.
“We are in deep shit.” I told him.
“Its already done. There’s nothing they can do.” He said as he hugged me with his big strong arms. I smelled his muscle shirt. I loved Alan’s smell. It was musky but fresh at the same time.
“They can keep us apart.” I told him.
“No one, can keep me away from you.” He said and kissed my forehead. I turned around and walked towards my closet. I looked through it. Alan came up behind me and took out my purple dress with my purple scarf.
“Wear this one.” He said and handed to me. I slid it on over my bra and panties and he helped me with the scarf. I went to my bathroom and looked into my mirror. My hair was a mess. It was down and a frizzy mess. I picked up my brush and tried to comb through it. Once I got it presentable I took Alan’s hand and walked down stairs.
“You were up there a while.” My Mother said. She was in the kitchen making cookies. My Dad sat at the table with his paper and a cup of coffee.
“We watched a movie.” Alan said. Jesse was sitting on the porch swinging on the brown wooden swing.
“I’ll be right back.” I said and walked to the porch. I sat on the swing with Jesse. We sat in silence for a while until he spoke up.
“Do you know how much a little mistake can change your life?” He asked me.
“Yes but you will take that change for someone you love.” I told him.
“Why didn’t you,” He began to ask but I stopped him.
“It doesn’t matter Jesse, its done and over with and you can’t change anything that happened. It was my choice to do it and I will accept the consequences.” I told him.
“But you’re practically a baby.” He told me.
“I’m not. I’m a woman and you have to accept that I’m growing up.” I told him. He hung his head. A breeze came through and blew all the flowers in the green yard. I looked up into the blue sky and took in the nature and all that I was blessed with. Jesse put his arm around me.
“I’m going to miss you.” He said.
“Then don’t go.” I told him.
“Its not that easy.” He said.
“How?” I asked. “Everyone says its not that easy but I don’t see how its not easy.”
“Its just not, okay.” He said and stood up. I stood up and hugged him. “I miss this.”
“I miss it too.” I told him. I stepped on his feet and we danced just like he did when I was little. After a few minutes Alan went outside with us.
“Cookies are done.” He said. I got off Jesse’s feet and Alan took my hand. I saw Alan give Jesse a weird look.
“Hello dear.” My Father said as we took our seat at the table.
“Oh Daddy, this is Alan.” I began to introduce him but I was interrupted.
“We have already met.” He said.
“Where?” I asked.
“Alan’s repair shop.” Dad said and looked up from his paper.
“Oh.” I said. Alan smiled at me. He didn’t know that my parents weren’t suppose to know but maybe, just maybe, he didn’t say anything about it.
“So, Alan tells me that he is enlisting.” My Dad said. “What makes you do such a thing like that, boy?”
“Well sir, I want to be apart of something.” He said politely. Jesse sat next to me worried that Alan would blow his secret. My Mom handed me a cookie.
“Wow! This is really good! Here try a bit.” I said and shoved the whole cookie in Alan’s mouth to keep him from saying anything.
“Mmm.” Alan said while giving me a confused look.
“Alan your shoes are untied.” I said and he looked down to tie them. “Let me help you.” I said and bent down with him under the table.
“I’m not wearing shoes.” He said.
“Don’t say anything about Jesse enlisting.” I warned him and sat up. Mom and Dad were looking at me as if I had three heads.
“I tied them.” Alan said and smiled.
“Son?” My Dad asked Alan.
“Yes sir.” Alan answered.
“You’re not wearing shoes.” He pointed out. I hit my hand over my head.
“Yes, sir.” Alan said. Dad looked back at his paper.
“What was I suppose to say?” Alan mouthed me.
“I don’t know.” I mouthed him back.
“Well, that was one good cookie but I think I’m going to take a walk.” I said and started to head out the door. “Alan, will you join me?” I asked him.
“Oh, yeah. Well, it was nice meeting you sir.” Alan said and reached out his hand for my Dad to shake but all my Dad did was stare at it. “Al-rightly.” Alan followed me outside.
“You shoe is untied? Really?” Alan asked me.
“I’m sorry! I couldn’t think of anything.” I told him.
“What about you dropped your napkin? or you dropped a piece of cookie?” He said.
“Alright Mr. Smarty, next time I wont say anything and Jesse can pummel you for blowing his secret!” I yelled at him.
“Well its better than making a terrible first impression!” He yelled back as we left my drive way. I kicked up dirt from the dirt road.
“Just shut up!” I screamed.
“You are the one going on about it!” He screamed back.
“Ah!” I yelled in his face. I walked faster to get away from him.
“Jane.” He yelled as I walked away from him. I was mad that he kept yelling at me. I told him I was sorry and it already happened and there’s nothing I can do now. “Come back.” He ran after me. He tackled me and we fell into the tall weeds on the side of the road. He laid on top of me. His smile won me over.
“I love you.” He said and kissed me.
“Ugh.” I stood up and wiped off the dirt on me. I don’t know why but we can never be mad at each other. We’ve had so many fights but they only last a minute or two before one of us falls in love with the others eyes and then we always kiss and it always makes it all better. One of these days I want us to have a fight and for one of us Not to break it up. It would be nice to be mad for a second. Does that sound wrong?

Alan and I walked back to the house hand in hand. Halfway there we stopped.
“What is it?” I asked him.
“Sh.” He said and looked up. After a few moments passed I looked and listened really hard for what he was trying to hear but I couldn’t hear anything.
“Alan, what is it?” I asked.
“Usual you can hear these birds. They are blue and they sit on that there tree limb and they sing. They sing for hours. Its so heavenly.” He said and then he started humming a tune.
“You’re crazy.” I said to him as he twirled around in the dirt street. “Dance with me?” He asked. I shook my head as I looked up at the orange sky. The sun was setting and it looked so beautiful.
“I’m good.” I told him while laughing.
“You can dance with Jesse but not me?” He asked.
“Alan.” I said.
“Its true.” He said while standing in front of me and taking both my hands. He pulled
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