La Flaca, Xicano Sol [red scrolls of magic TXT] 📗

He was naturally thin and regardless of how much he tried to eat, the pounds never seemed to want to cling. “There’s a difference between having a ‘swimmer’s build’ and being ‘sickly thin’ and when it came to me… most people just thought I was sickly.” He received a great amount of ridicule growing up because of his lanky stature, name-calling was just part of his memories from the earliest of childhood. It only got worse once he came out of the closet. “To be associated with illness because of the way you look is a harsh punishment in the Gay world…” he stated as he began to sit comfortably in the office chair.

He spent much of his college years studying the effects of objectification as it pertained to women. He was able to relate to what he read and he begin to realize that most Gay men minimize one another to their mere physical appearance. That acknowledgement became the backbone to a sense of security with his body image. He lashed out at anyone and any institution that objectified and sexualized men. In many ways he considered himself a spokesperson against those types of portrayals. Then nature threw an unexpected twist to his standpoint.

“It wasn’t until my late 20’s that my body began to finally fill out. I began taking a number of supplements and working out at the gym and my body began to take form.” For the first time in his life he started attracting the attention of other men. As he built his body up, so did his number of hookups. He even made it shirtless to the cover of a community magazine. He felt himself a part of the objectified world that he fought so hard against; only difference now he was at the receiving end of the compliments. “The popularity was like a drug to me, I could never get enough… and the highs kept getting shorter and shorter.” I asked if that’s what brought him here to me today and he said “No, not really. It seems as though I can’t meet anyone substantial these days. I feel like they only want me because of what I look like and as soon as they get what they want, they leave.”

Publication Date: 01-24-2012

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