Herself, Edith Belle Lowry [world best books to read TXT] 📗

case it is more serious than with the toothache; for these female organs are more abundantly supplied with nerves.

One who is guilty of such an unnatural practice as to deliberately irritate any portion of her body, especially the very important generative organs, always secretly despises herself. If persisted in, the results of this vice are a ruined nervous system and a weakened character. The victim realizes she is doing a disgraceful thing and seldom acknowledges her habit even to her physician.

If one has become a victim of such a habit she should determine to stop it immediately and then take measures to restore her nervous system to its original state. It never is too late to commence treatment. It is the continued practice and the mental dwelling on the acts that does the harm, not the few acts thoughtlessly performed. Of course the longer the habit has continued, the more firmly it is fixed and the harder to break.

The treatment is first to absolutely stop the practice, then fill your mind with other thoughts. Take considerable physical exercise in the open air. Sleep on a hard bed in a well-ventilated room. Eat plain, nourishing food without spices and stimulants. Take up some work or play that will interest you and that will keep your mind occupied. Live in the open air as much as possible. If you find yourself desiring to do these harmful things, go immediately and busy your mind and hands with something else and the desire will pass soon. In young children this habit often has its origin in some irritation of the external organs, as a hooded clitoris. So before taking severe measures to break the habit, it is wise to have the child examined for such a condition.

Now as to mental self-abuse, perhaps I can make my meaning more clear by again quoting from some of my letters. A young woman from South Carolina wrote me, "A few years ago I taught school and one of my pupils, perfectly innocent of the grave results that would befall her, committed three outrages upon herself, what is known in the medical world as masturbation or self-abuse. The girl, as I know, was chaste and a sweeter, nicer, brighter pupil I never taught. But she had the misfortune to commit these abuses upon herself in all innocence and felt no discomfort or ill health in any way until about three months afterward. Then she began to lose interest in her work, to fall away in her grades, in fact to take very little interest in anything. In this condition she came to me and told me everything. Since then she has felt no physical pain whatever, but her mind, though not really gone, is visibly affected. In this way, she is constantly in dread lest something dreadful will happen, feels as if a cloud were hanging over her, is not capable of doing any mental work. At times, has a horror of being shut up in any place, memory is poor, places and positions change, that is, a place moves to some other position, for instance, the right side of the street very often is in the opposite direction. To sum it all up, she constantly is miserable. So far as being insane is concerned, she is not that. She is perfectly conscious of her condition. She feels well physically and appears to be so mentally, but says there is just a befogged sensation in her head which gets no better nor worse, yet it is there. The feeling came upon her very suddenly one morning in the spring after the abuses had taken place in January and then it all flashed over her the awful consequences of her innocent practices. Oh! what would she not have given to be her old self again! If she only had known the awful result, her mind sacrificed for a practice in which she indulged through ignorance and for experiment, never dreaming the baneful effect it would have on her mind. Now, this girl has gone on this way for the past eight years getting no worse nor any better. Seemingly, she is the same but she suffers untold miseries when alone, conscious that her mind is hazy and not capable of enjoying books, society of others or anything that interests young girls. Yet nobody ever would detect that she is not feeling well. She told me all this in confidence and as the case puzzles me, I write you feeling that perhaps you would advise me in some way the treatment necessary to cure her. She is and has been perfectly moral since the fateful abuses upon herself and I do not understand why her mind does not return to its normal condition."

I do! She will not give her mind a chance to get well. She constantly is abusing it by dwelling on things that should have been forgotten long ago. No one goes through life without making some mistakes. Everyone has burned his finger many times. And yet he does not keep worrying about it and wondering if it will have some dangerous after-effect. Of course, if he deliberately burned his finger time and time again, it might remain injured permanently. But if he, ignorantly or accidentally, has burned it once or several times, he stops his careless ways, allows Nature to restore the injured portion, and then forgets there ever was an injury. It is the same with self-abuse, many children do things like this thoughtlessly. But when a girl learns she is injuring herself, she should stop the practice and allow Nature to repair the wound. Then forget all about it. Do not worry, above all things. Go ahead and fill your mind with work.

There are many women in this world who are abusing themselves by worrying over something that has occurred in the past. Whatever is in the past cannot be undone. All we can do is to profit by our experience and turn the energies, that would be wasted by worrying, to some good use. Whenever thoughts of the past or desires for the wrong things disturb you, crowd these worry thoughts and desires out of your mind by putting in it good thoughts. Deliberately fill your mind and hands so full of other things that there will be no room for these unwholesome pests. Worry does more harm than smallpox ever did!

This dwelling on past mistakes is only one of several methods of mental self-abuse. Another way some abuse themselves is by continuing the association with those who excite or irritate them. If in your work or social life you find that a certain person has an effect upon you that is not wholesome, that when you are in the company of that individual you are incapable of doing your best, then it is time to make a change. Keep away from that individual until such a time as you are strong enough to resist his influence. Choose your friends from among those who stimulate you mentally. If you stop to think, you must admit that you accomplish more and better work when in the presence of certain people. Those are the ones whose companionship you should seek.

There are people living together or working together who are a continual source of irritation to each other. It is just as impossible for such people to work in harmony as it is for two incompatible chemicals, as nitrogen and iodine. We do not try to over-ride the laws of Nature by trying to force these chemicals to stay together. It is just as impossible to force certain incompatible people to be harmonious. If society or business throws two such people together it would be wise for one to make a change before there is an explosion. It is impossible for any person to do good work in an atmosphere of irritation.

Another element in mental self-abuse is longing for the unattainable. Sometimes a person sets her mind on a certain thing. If that goal is an honorable one, she should make every effort to attain it but if circumstances over which she has no control make that goal impossible of attainment she should turn her thoughts in another direction. But that is what many people do not do. If they cannot have just what they want they sit and bemoan their fate and give up trying for other goals. Such a person should choose a line of work or play that is especially interesting to her and bend her energies in that direction. She will be surprised how soon she will lose her intense interest in her former longed-for goal.

Lack of self-confidence is an evidence of mental self-abuse. A person who has no confidence in herself cannot expect others to have. One who keeps herself in the attitude of Uriah Heap, who continually asserts, "I am a poor worm, I am unworthy of the blessings of life, I cannot expect great reward," must expect to be taken at her word. In this age a man (or woman) is valued, in a large measure, by the estimate he sets upon himself. Honors are not thrust upon a man unless he shows the self-confidence which commands confidence. Bacon said, "Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them." But those of the last class are very few. Our enemies are willing to thrust upon us scandal and humiliation whenever there is a possible chance, but our friends are very slow in thrusting honors upon us. If a person wants anything in this world he must first convince himself of his ability to attain that goal, then he may be able to convince others. It is the man with confidence in himself who wins the day.

After one has decided upon his goal he should keep that goal always before him as the pillar of fire before the seekers for the promised land. All our thoughts should be in that direction. Every wish or thought we send out reaches someone and in time may bring us what we wish. "By faith ye can accomplish all things."

There is an explanation of "Who answers prayer" which describes a mother kneeling by the bedside of her sick baby, and praying faithfully that her baby might be restored to health. In a vision the author sees these prayer thoughts radiating from the mother like invisible telegraph wires, along which the message is carried to various parts of the city. One wire reaches the home of a minister who, although willing, feels his inability to answer. Another wire reaches the home of a wealthy banker but he, too, is powerless to help. The next wire is connected with the home of a prominent lawyer famous for his ability to win cases for the needy, but in this case he cannot win, for Death is more powerful than he. But a fourth wire reaches a physician who has just retired from a hard day's fight with his enemy—disease. The physician awakens, grasps the message and immediately arises, dresses and hastens to the home of the poor woman. In a short time the little one's spasms are relieved and the doctor gives a sigh of relief, as he says to the anxious mother, "The crisis is past, your baby will live." The mother's prayer has been answered.

Every thought we entertain is being sent out along these invisible wires and eventually will reach someone who responds to it. If we send out worry thoughts or thoughts of self-depreciation we must expect others to receive the message as we send it. So if we want to make the most of our lives we continually must send out only thoughts that we wish others to receive. We must value ourselves if we expect others to value us!

Too much introspection