THE SECRET OF SUCCESS, William Walter Atkinson [best management books of all time txt] 📗

him as he goes through life, we believe that it is not only to his
advantage, but is also his duty to make that Personality as pleasing and attractive
as he is able to. You know that no matter how good, intelligent and high-minded
a man may be, if he wears the mask of an unattractive and unpleasant Personality
he is placed at a disadvantage, and drives away people whom he might benefit
and who would be glad to love him if they could see behind his unattractive mask.
Nor are we speaking of one’s personal physical appearance when we speak of
unattractive and attractive masks. While one’s physical appearance goes a good
way in some cases, there is a charm of Personality that far transcends that
fleeting appearance. There are many persons having beautiful faces and forms
whose personality is far from charming, and who repel rather than attract. And
there are others whose faces are homely and whose forms are far from shapely,
who have, nevertheless, that "winning way about them" that attracts others to
them. There are people whom we are always glad to see, and whose charm of
manner makes us forget that they are not beautiful, in fact, even their homely
faces seem to become transfigured when we are in their presence. That is what we
meant by Personality, in the same way in which we are now using it. It bears a
very close relationship to "Personal Magnetism," of which we spoke of in our
preceding lesson.
One of the first things that should be cultivated by those wishing to develop the
Charm of Personality is a mental atmosphere of Cheerfulness. There is nothing so
invigorating as presence of a cheerful person – nothing so dispiriting as one of
those Human Wet Blankets that cast a chill over everyone and everything with
whom they come in contact. Think of your acquaintances and you will find that
you will naturally place them in two classes – the Cheerful ones and the Gloomy
ones. Sunny Jim is always preferred to Gloomy Gus – the one you will welcome,
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and the other you will fly from. The Japanese understand this law of Personality,
and one of the first things that they teach their children is to preserve a cheerful,
sunny exterior, no matter if their hearts are breaking. With them it is considered
one of the most flagrant offenses against good form to carry their sorrows, grief
and pain into the presence of others. They reserve that side of their life for the
privacy of their own chamber – to the outside world they present always a happy,
sunny smile. And in this they are wise, for a number of reasons (1) that they may
induce a more buoyant and positive state of mind in themselves; (2) that they
may attract cheerful persons and things to them by the Law of Attraction; and (3)
that they may present an attractive Personality to others, and thereby be welcome
and congenial associates and participants in the work of life. There is little
welcome or help for the Gloomy Gus tribe in everyday business life – they are
avoided as a pestilence – everyone has troubles enough of his own without those
of other people added thereto.
Remember the old lines:
Laugh and the world laughs with you;
Weep and you weep alone.
For this sad old earth is in need of mirth,
And has troubles enough of its own
So cultivate the Smile that Won’t Come Off. It is a valuable asset of Personality.
Not the silly, idiotic grin, but the Smile that means something – the Real Thing.
And such a smile comes from within, and is more that skin deep. If you want a
Verbal Pattern upon which to model the mental state that will produce this
outward appearance of Personality, here it is: "BRIGHT, CHEERFUL, AND
HAPPY. "FRAME IT AND HANG it in a prominent place in your Mental Art
Gallery. Commit it to memory and Visualize it, so that you may be able to see it
before you like an illuminated electric sign – "BRIGHT, CHEERFUL AND
HAPPY" – then endeavor to materialize the idea into reality within your mind.
Think it out – act it out – and it will become real to you. Then will you have
Something Worthwhile in the shape of Personality? This may seem simple and
childish to you – but if you will work it out into actuality, it will be worth
thousands of dollars to you, no matter what walk of life you may be in.
Another valuable bit of Personality is that of Self Respect. If you have real Self
Respect it will manifest itself in your outward demeanor and appearance. If you
don’t have it, you had better start in and cultivate the appearance of Self Respect,
and then Remember that you are a MAN, or a WOMAN, as the case may be, and
not a poor, crawling Worm on the Dust of a Human Door Mat. Face the world
firmly and fearlessly, keeping your eyes well to the front. HOLD UP YOUR
HEAD!There is nothing like a stiff backbone and a raised head for meeting the
world. The man with bent head seems to apologize for living and being on the
earth – and the world is apt to take such at their own valuation. An erect head
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enables one to walk past the dragons at the door of Success. A writer gives the
following good advice on this subject:"Hold your ear lobes directly over your
shoulders, so that a plumb line hung from the ears describes the line of your
body. Be sure also not to carry the head either to the right or left, but vertical.
Many men make the mistake, especially while waiting for a customer to finish
some important piece of business, of leaning the head to the right or left. This
indicates weakness. A study of men discloses the fact that the strong men never
tilt the head. Their heads sit perfectly straight on strong necks. Their shoulders,
held easily, yet firmly, in position, are inspiring in their strength – indicating
poise. Every line of the body, in other words, denotes the thought of the bearer.
"The value of this advice lies not only in the fact that it gives to you the
"appearance" of Self Respect (no trifling matter, by the way), but also that it tends
to cultivate a corresponding mental state within you. For just as "Thought takes
form in Action," so do Actions develop mental states – it is a rule that works both
ways. So think Self Respect and act Self Respect. Let the "I AM" within you
manifest itself. Don’t crawl – don’t cringe – don’t grovel – but do be a Real
Human Being. Another bit of Personality worth cultivating is the Art of Taking an
Interest in Others. Many people go through the world so wrapped up in their own
affairs that they convey the impression of being "apart" and aloof from others
with whom they come in contact. This mental state manifests in a most
unpleasant form of Personality. Such people are not only regarded as "cold" and
lacking heart and soul, but they also give others the impression of selfishness and
hardness, and the public is apt to let such a person alone – to leave him to his
own selfish moods and mental states. Such a one never becomes popular – never
becomes a good mixer among men. Taking an Interest in Others is an art that
well repays the student of Success to cultivate it. Of course one must always keep
the main chance before him and not allow his own interests to suffer by reason of
his interest in others – that goes without saying, for unreasonable altruism is just
as one sided as undue selfishness. But there is a middle course. You will find
something of interest in every person with whom you come in contact, and if you
will but turn your attention to that interest it will manifest itself in such a way
that the person will be conscious of it, will appreciate it, and will be glad to
respond by taking an interest in you. This is not deceit, or time serving, or flattery
– it is the Law of Compensation working on the mental plane – you get what you
give. If you will stop and think a moment you will find that the people whose
Personality seems the most attractive to you are the people who seem to Take an
Interest in your own personality.
This Taking an Interest in Others manifests itself in many ways, one of which is
in making you a Good Listener. Now, we do not mean that you should allow
yourself to be made a dumping ground for all the talk of all the people with whom
you come in contact – if you do this you will have time for nothing else. You must
use ordinary judgment and tact in regulating the time you give to others,
depending upon the person and the particular circumstances of the case. What
we do mean is that while you’re listening you should Listen Well. There is no
subtler compliment that one person can pay to another than Listening Well to
him or her. To Listen Well is to Listen with Interest. And that is something that
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cannot be very well taught in a book. Perhaps the best way to express the idea is
to say, "Listen as you Would be Listened unto. "The Golden Rule may be applied
to many things and ideas, with benefit and good results. The man who listens well
is well thought of by those to whom he listens. In this connection we are always
reminded of the old story of Carlyle, who, as everyone knows, was reputed to be a
crusty, crabby old chap, prone to sarcastic remarks and brusque treatment of
those with whom he engaged in conversation. The tale goes that one day a man
called upon Carlyle – and the man understood the Art of Listening Well. He so
turned the conversations as to get Carlyle started on a subject dear to his heart –
and then he kept quiet and Listened Well. Carlyle talked "a straight streak" for
several hours, and grew quite enthusiastic over his topic. When at last the visitor
arose to depart, he was forced to actually tear himself away from Carlyle, who,
following him to the door, manifested unusual enthusiasm and good spirits, and
bidding him good-bye, said warmly:"Come again, mon – come again and often –
ye have a wonderfully bright mind, and I’ve enjoyed your conversation very much
indeed – ye are a most delightful conversationalist. "
Be careful not to bore people with your personal experiences – better forget your
personal self in talking to others, except when it is right to the point to bring
yourself in. People do not want to hear what a wonderful fellow you are – they
want to tell you what wonderful people they are, which is very much more
pleasant to them. Don’t retail your woes, nor recite your many points of
excellence. Don’t tell what a wonderful baby you have – the other people have
babies of their own to think about. You must endeavor to talk about things of
interest to the other person, if he wants to do the talking himself. Forget yourself
and Take and Interest in the Other Person.
Some of the best retail merchants impress upon their salespeople the advantage
of cultivating the mental attitude and personality that you will give the customer
the impression that you are "on his side of the counter" – that is, that you are
taking a personal interest in his being well-served, suited, well-treated and
satisfied. The salesman who is able to create that impression is well advanced on
the