If Not For The Knight, Debbie Boek [electronic reader TXT] 📗

“He was very angry when he found out you were to be our new Lord.” It was all she would say in reference to what had passed between her and Edgar.

“I accused him of wife-beating today and challenged him to judicial combat. He lost and attacked me as I turned away from him.”

She sat silently, noticing for the first time the bruises on his face and the cuts and scrapes on his knuckles.

“How did you know?” Regan asked quietly, taking his hands in her own.

Calder was not given to lying, but his need to protect Radolf was stronger. “You had difficulty moving because of your pain, and I could see it in your eyes.”

She considered his words, not sure if she should believe him or not. “Why would you feel it was your place to become involved in whatever happened to me?”

He looked deep into her eyes. “The night we first met, we shared an incredible experience together. To this day, I cannot get you out of my mind, the feel of you against me, the smell of you, the pure joy that I felt being inside of you. My lips long for the taste of yours every time I see you.”

She looked away from him, flushing in embarrassment.

“I tried my best to do what was right for you, to make up for what I took from you that night. It seems that all I have done has been wrong and has only made your life wretched. With all my heart, I want to make things right for you again.”

He stopped then, his voice thick with emotions that he was trying to control. “I cannot allow you to suffer at the hands of the man I forced you to marry.”

It had been such a long time since anyone had cared about her, or about what happened to her, that she could feel tears glistening in her eyes.

Calder lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. “I would give up my life if I could take away all of the hurt you and RadoIf have suffered because of me.”

Not trusting herself to speak, Regan stroked his face. His words and the tenderness in his voice touched her so deeply that a tear escaped, slipping silently down her cheek.

Slowly, Calder lowered his lips onto hers. He kissed her thoroughly, his body shaking with the power of the emotions that coursed through him. Taking her into his arms, he poured those feelings out as his mouth moved sensuously against hers.

She moaned softly, fitting her body intimately to his and feeling his hard, muscular body yielding to her own. Regan lost herself in the feel of him, the touch of him, the taste of him. She needed him more than she had ever needed anyone before.

He slowly withdrew his lips from hers and, in an uncharacteristically shaky voice, said, “I want you, Regan, so badly that it hurts. Come inside and let me show you how much I need you.”

She hesitated, a million thoughts running through her head, telling her how wrong it would be for her to do such a thing. But her body trembled with a desire for him that was so strong, it could not be denied. Even if she burned in hell for all eternity, it would be worth it if she could be with him this night.

“Calder,” she answered softly, her eyes glistening, “I will go with you but, before I do, you must know something.”

“Yes?” His voice was hoarse, and his heart beat frantically in anticipation of what was to come.

“Whatever grief or sorrow I have had to sustain was not because of you. We did share something special that night. I have not been able to forget it myself. If it were not for that memory, I may not have been able to get through my days. I know you have tried to protect me. It is my own people who have caused any hurt, not you. I cherish my memories of you.” She spoke the last so softly that he could barely hear her.

He took her hand, kissed the palm and, holding it securely in his own, headed inside the Manor. They went up the stairs quietly, looking surreptitiously around to see if there was anyone about. They did not see the eyes watching them from the curtained alcove.

Regan stood shyly by the bed when they reached his chamber, suddenly unsure of herself and what she was doing. Calder stood before her, his gaze so intense that she blushed and looked away.

He stroked her face, running a finger around her lips until they parted slightly of their own volition. Burying his hand in her thick copper curls, he pulled her head toward his own and leaned down eagerly to meet her lips.

Slowly, and with exquisite tenderness, his lips devoured hers. Regan wrapped her hands around his neck, trying to pull him even closer as she leaned against him.

As their tongues entwined, his hands moved lower and started to remove her clothing. Her skin, so sensitive to his touch, seemed almost alive. All of the nerve endings were at the surface, waiting impatiently for his caress.

When all of her clothing had been removed, he laid her gently on the bed, his gaze wandering greedily over her naked body.

Her eyes were glittering pieces of jade in her pale face as she watched him slowly remove his own clothing one piece at a time. Her gaze feasted on his broad, sculpted chest with its furring of dark hair, his smooth, firm hips and long, muscular legs. His member was erect and ready, leaving no doubt as to the extent of his passion.

Calder lay beside her, throwing his long leg over her hip, as he turned her toward him so that he could more fully enjoy the touch of her lips and the feel of her body against his own. He ran his hands over her silken skin, unable to get enough of her as he kissed her long and hard.

Regan felt him throbbing against her thigh and the blood surged through her body as all of her senses came alive. His mouth slashed down on hers time and again, his fingers leaving trails of searing heat along her skin.

Skillfully using his hands and lips, he moved along her body, exploring every inch until she writhed mindlessly beneath him. Calder had waited so long for this moment and wished he could prolong it, but the need building inside of him would not allow further exploration. Slowly he entered her, watching her green eyes widen as he filled her and gently began to move.

Their bodies met in silent rhythm, a slow wonderful agony at first, and then faster and faster until they lost themselves completely in the intensity of their release. Both were left trembling, neither willing to relinquish the other until the shattered pieces of their minds and bodies had come together again.

Later, Regan lay quietly in the dark, listening to Calder's deep, even breathing. She did not want to leave the warmth of his embrace, but knew she must before she fell asleep. She could not risk being caught in his bedchamber.

Slipping quietly out of the bed and into her clothing, she walked cautiously down the stairs. She was relieved to find that the knights were still out hunting for Edgar, and no one was in the Hall to witness her surreptitious departure.

She carried Radolf from her parent's house without waking them. Laying him on his pallet, she pulled the blanket up over his still sleeping body, then gently brushed the curls away from his face.

“What do I do, Radolf?” she asked silently. “Do I tell Calder about you? Is it fair to either of you if I don't? And what about me? And Edgar? How do I face you, or my parents, or myself after my adulterous behavior this night? And how do I keep myself from wanting Calder as badly as I do, or from loving him so much that I am willing to risk losing what's left of the respect of those I care most about?”

Regan was relieved when she did not see Calder at all the following week. Surely, her embarrassment over what happened between them would show if she was near him. It was but a temporary respite, as her visits to all of the cottages were now finished and she would have to give him her report, but it gave her some time to collect herself.

“Draco,” she asked, as they parted that afternoon, “will you tell Lord Calder that our visits have been completed and that I am ready to meet with him whenever he has the time?”

“Yes, Milady, I will,” he replied in his low, gravelly voice while offering her a slight bow. Draco did not speak much, but his respect for her was always evident and she appreciated it deeply. Even Radolf had grown more relaxed around the huge warrior.

Draco began to walk away, but hesitated, then turned back and glanced around to make sure that no one, particularly RadoIf, was close enough to hear him. “Calder is apparently too blind to see himself in the boy. Why do you not tell him of his son?”

Regan said nothing at first, caught off guard by his question.

“Do you realize that these lands would belong to your son one day, should Calder choose to accept him as his heir? Will you deny RadoIf that right?”

“I had not thought of that, Draco,” she replied honestly. “I thought only of what more hurt Edgar could do to both of them, if Calder knew the truth.”

Draco was impressed with her ability to hold her tongue for a reason so