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Where

Shall We Go?"

 

"With Your Permission,  As I Came To Town In These Clothes,  Made By A

German Tailor--Darmstadt'S Tailor By-The-Bye--But Still If Tailor To A

Prince,  Not The Prince Of Tailors--I Would Wish You To Take Me To Your

Own: Your Dress Appears Very Correct."

 

"You Show Your Judgment,  Newland,  It _Is_ Correct; Stulz Will Be

Delighted To Have Your Name On His Books,  And To Do Justice To That

Figure. _Allons Donc_."

 

We Sauntered Up St James'S Street,  And Before I Had Arrived At Stulz'S,

I Had Been Introduced To At Least Twenty Of The Young Men About Town.

The Major Was Most Particular In His Directions About The Clothes,  All

Of Which He Ordered; And As I Knew That He Was Well Acquainted With The

Part 1 Chapter 21 Pg 101

Fashion,  I Gave Him Carte Blanche. When We Left The Shop,  He Said,  "Now,

My Dear Newland,  I Have Given You A Proof Of Friendship,  Which No Other

Man In england Has Had. Your Dress Will Be The Ne Plus Ultra. There Are

Little Secrets Only Known To The Initiated,  And Stulz Is Aware That This

Time I Am In earnest. I Am Often Asked To Do The Same For Others,  And I

Pretend So To Do; But A Wink From Me Is Sufficient,  And Stulz Dares Not

Dress Them. Don'T You Want Some Bijouterie? Or Have You Any At Home?"

 

"I May As Well Have A Few Trifles," Replied I.

 

We Entered A Celebrated Jeweller'S,  And He Selected For Me To The Amount

Of About Forty Pounds. "That Will Do--Never Buy Much; For It Is

Necessary To Change Every Three Months At Least. What Is The Price Of

This Chain?"

 

"It Is Only Fifteen Guineas,  Major."

 

"Well,  I Shall Take It; But Recollect," Continued The Major; "I Tell You

Honestly,  I Never Shall Pay You."

 

The Jeweller Smiled,  Bowed,  And Laughed; The Major Threw The Chain Round

His Neck,  And We Quitted The Shop.

 

"At All Events,  Major,  They Appear Not To Believe Your Word In That

Shop."

 

"My Dear Fellow,  That'S Their Own Fault,  Not Mine. I Tell Them Honestly

I Never Will Pay Them; And You May Depend Upon It,  I Intend Most

Sacredly To Keep My Word. I Never Do Pay Anybody,  For The Best Of All

Possible Reasons,  I Have No Money; But Then I Do Them A Service--I Make

Them Fashionable,  And They Know It."

 

"What Debts Do You Pay Then,  Major?"

 

"Let Me Think--That Requires Consideration. Oh! I Pay My Washer-Woman."

 

"Don'T You Pay Your Debts Of Honour?"

 

"Debts Of Honour! Why I'Ll Tell _You_ The Truth; For I Know That We

Shall Hunt In couples. If I Win I Take The Money: But If I Lose--Why

Then I Forget To Pay; And I Always Tell Them So Before I Set Down To The

Table. If They Won'T Believe Me,  It'S Not My Fault. But What'S The Hour?

Come,  I Must Make A Few Calls,  And Will Introduce You."

 

We Sauntered On To Grosvenor Square,  Knocked,  And Were Admitted Into A

Large,  Elegantly-Furnished Mansion. The Footman Announced Us--"My Dear

Lady Maelstrom,  Allow Me The Honour Of Introducing To You My Very

Particular Friend,  Mr Newland,  Consigned To My Charge By My Lord

Windermear During His Absence. He Has Just Arrived From The Continent,

Where He Has Been Making The Grand Tour."

 

Her Ladyship Honoured Me With A Smile. "By-The-Bye,  Major,  That Reminds

Me--Do Me The Favour To Come To The Window. Excuse Us One Moment,  Mr

Newland."

 

The Major And Lady Maelstrom Walked To The Window,  And Exchanged A Few

Part 1 Chapter 21 Pg 102

Sentences,  And Then Returned. Her Ladyship Holding Up Her Finger,  And

Saying To Him As They Came Towards Me,  "Promise Me Now That You Won'T

Forget."

 

"Your Ladyship'S Slightest Wishes Are To Me Imperative Commands,"

Replied The Major,  With A Graceful Bow.

 

In A Quarter Of An Hour,  During Which The Conversation Was Animated,  We

Rose To Take Our Leave,  When Her Ladyship Came Up To Me,  And Offering

Her Hand,  Said,  "Mr Newland,  The Friendship Of Lord Windermear,  And The

Introduction Of Major Carbonnell,  Are More Than Sufficient To Induce Me

To Put Your Name Down On My Visiting List. I Trust I Shall See A Great

Deal Of You,  And That We Shall Be Great Friends."

 

I Bowed To This Handsome Announcement,  And We Retired. As Soon As We

Were Out In The Square,  The Major Observed,  "You Saw Her Take Me On One

Side--It Was To _Pump_. She Has No Daughters,  But About Fifty Nieces,

And Match-Making Is Her Delight. I Told Her That I Would Stake My Honour

Upon Your Possessing Ten Thousand A Year; How Much More I Could Not Say.

I Was Not Far Wrong,  Was I?"

 

I Laughed. "What I May Be Worth,  Major,  I Really Cannot Say; But I Trust

That The Event Will Prove That You Are Not Far Wrong. Say No More,  My

Dear Fellow."

 

"I Understand--You Are Not Yet Of Age--Of Course,  Have Not Yet Come Into

Possession Of Your Fortune."

 

"That Is Exactly The Case,  Major. I Am Now But Little More Than

Nineteen."

 

"You Look Older; But There Is No Getting Over Baptismal Registries With

The Executors. Newland,  You Must Content Yourself For The Two Next Years

In Playing Moses,  And Only Peep At The Promised Land."

 

We Made Two Or Three More Calls,  And Then Returned To St James'S Street.

"Where Shall We Go Now? By-The-Bye,  Don'T You Want To Go To Your

Banker'S?"

 

"I Will Just Stroll Down With You,  And See If They Have Paid Any Money

In," Replied I,  Carelessly.

 

We Called At Drummond'S,  And I Asked Them If There Was Any Money Paid In

To The Credit Of Mr Newland.

 

"Yes,  Sir," Replied One Of The Clerks: "There Is One Thousand Pounds

Paid In Yesterday."

 

"Very Good," Replied I.

 

"How Much Do You Wish To Draw For?" Inquired The Major.

 

"I Don'T Want Any," Replied I. "I Have More Money Than I Ought To Have

In My Desk At This Moment."

 

"Well,  Then,  Let Us Go And Order Dinner; Or Perhaps You Would Like To

Part 1 Chapter 21 Pg 103

Stroll About A Little More; If So,  I Will Go And Order The Dinner.

Here'S Harcourt,  That'S Lucky. Harcourt My Dear Fellow,  Know Mr Newland,

My Very Particular Friend. I Must Leave You Now; Take His Arm,

Harcourt,  For Half An Hour,  And Then Join Us At Dinner At The Piazza."

 

Mr Harcourt Was An Elegant Young Man Of About Five-And-Twenty. Equally

Pleased With Each Other'S Externals,  We Were Soon Familiar: He Was

Witty,  Sarcastic,  And Wellbred. After Half An Hour'S Conversation He

Asked Me What I Thought Of The Major. I Looked Him In The Face And

Smiled. "That Look Tells Me That You Will Not Be His Dupe,  Otherwise I

Had Warned You: He Is A Strange Character: But If You Have Money Enough

To Afford To _Keep Him_,  You Cannot Do Better,  As He Is Acquainted With,

And Received By,  Everybody. His Connections Are Good; And He Once Had A

Very Handsome Fortune,  But It Was Soon Run Out,  And He Was Obliged To

Sell His Commission In The Guards. Now He Lives Upon The World; Which As

Shakespeare Says,  Is His Oyster; And He Has Wit And Sharpness Enough To

Open It. Moreover,  He Has Some Chance Of Falling Into A Peerage; That

Prospect,  And His Amusing Qualities,  Added To His Being The Most

Fashionable Man About Town,  Keeps His Head Above Water. I Believe Lord

Windermear,  Who Is His Cousin,  Very Often Helps Him."

 

"It Was Lord Windermear Who Introduced Me To Him," Observed I.

 

"Then He Will Not Venture To Play Any Tricks Upon You,  Further Than

Eating Your Dinners,  Borrowing Your Money,  And Forgetting To Pay It."

 

"You Must Acknowledge," Said I,  "He Always Tells You Beforehand That He

Never Will Pay You."

 

"And That Is The Only Point In Which He Adheres To His Word," Replied

Harcourt,  Laughing; "But,  Tell Me,  Am I To Be _Your_ Guest To-Day?"

 

"If You Will Do Me That Honour."

 

"I Assure You I Am Delighted To Come,  As I Shall Have A Further

Opportunity Of Cultivating Your Acquaintance."

 

"Then We Had Better Bend Our Steps Towards The Hotel,  For It Is Late,"

Replied I; And We Did So Accordingly.

 

 

 

 

 

Part 1 Chapter 22 Pg 104

     The Real Simon Pure Proves The Worse Of The Two--I Am Found Guilty,

     But Not Condemned; Convicted,  Yet Convince; And After Having

     Behaved The Very Contrary To,  Prove That I Am,  A Gentleman.

 

 

 

 

On Our Arrival,  We Found The Table Spread,  Champagne In Ice Under The

Sideboard,  And Apparently Everything Prepared For A Sumptuous Dinner,

Part 1 Chapter 22 Pg 105

The Major On The Sofa Giving Directions To The Waiter,  And Timothy

Looking All Astonishment.

 

"Major," Said I,  "I Cannot Tell You How Much I Am Obliged To You For

Your Kindness In Taking All This Trouble Off My

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