If Not For The Knight, Debbie Boek [electronic reader TXT] 📗

When her tears were finally reduced to an occasional sniffle, Calder led her to the table and sat down beside her. Keeping both of her hands in his, he looked searchingly into her face. “Why didn’t you come to me?”

“Calder,” she said, resignation heavy in her voice, “there is nothing that you can do. Radolf and I are not wanted here.”

“There is always something that I can do,” he said firmly. “But first, I must know of the problem.”

“And what will you do?” she asked, her voice edging toward hysteria. “Will you put someone in the pillory for speaking harshly to me? Will you use a cane to beat a young boy who teases and torments my son? There is nothing that you can do that will not make them hate us even more.”

Calder did not respond, but she saw his eyes narrow as he considered her words. His continuing silence was unnerving and compelled her to tell him of her plans.

“I cannot allow my son to grow up in a village that treats him so cruelly.”

“Your son?” Calder asked coldly.

“Yes, my son,” she answered, wondering at the meaning of his question. She continued hesitantly. “I plan on leaving this place as soon as I finish the taxes for you.”

“With Radolf?”

“Of course.”

“And where is it that you think you will go?” he asked, his voice colder and harsher than he had ever spoken to her before.

“I’m not sure yet. When you pay me for these services, I believe I should have enough to get us so far away that we will be able to find some peace in our lives.” She was unable to look him in the eye as she spoke.

Once again, Calder just sat silently, studying her. Finally, he spoke. “Regan, I know everything that has befallen you and Radolf is because of me, and I want to make things easier for the both of you. I have not had the time to deal properly with this situation and it is, apparently, much worse than I realized.”

Releasing her hand, he ran his own tiredly though his short, cropped hair, and then rubbed his brow, attempting to ease the tension in it.

Regan felt a painful squeeze around her heart as she watched Calder struggle to come up with an answer to her problems. He had so many more important issues to deal with right now and she was just becoming more of a burden to him.

“Regan,” he said softly, taking her hands back into both of his own, “can you bear this a short while longer?”

“I don’t know,” she answered in a whisper, her eyes filling with tears again.

“You must stay awhile longer. I know I have spent too much time preparing the castle, rather than taking care of you and Radolf as I should.” His voice was strained, his mind continuing to look for solutions even as he spoke.

“We are not your responsibility, Milord,” she replied.

“Yes, you are, Regan, and I have not been there for you.” Calder stopped speaking, once again running his hand through his short hair and frowning. “It is just that I have this overwhelming feeling that something evil is coming. I cannot even understand it myself, but I believe, with all my heart, that this whole village and everyone in it, is in jeopardy. Until the castle and fortifications are complete, I will not be able to rest easy.”

His words sent a shiver of apprehension down her spine.

“I know that does not ease your mind or solve your problems. It is only my excuse as to why I cannot devote enough time to helping you with the other people in the village. I need you to understand and to give me some time before you make a final decision as to what you will do.”

It was Regan’s turn to remain silent while she considered what he said. The turmoil of her emotions was overwhelming her so much that she had difficulty trying to make any decision at all. She did not want to leave. It made her physically ill to think of leaving Calder, never to see him again. But, she would only be hurt worse in the future when he married and had no further use for her. And Radolf would only continue to suffer if they remained in the village.

She could not tell him now that Radolf was his son; she feared he may not let them leave if she did so.

With a heavy heart, she finally replied. “I did not come to you and ask that you solve my problems. I can do what is necessary to protect my son. I will stay for awhile, Calder, until I finish the taxes. But, then I believe I must go. For my son. He is my life and I, not you, have caused the pain in his. So, I must be the one to make it better for him.”

Calder tried to school his features so that she could not see how hurt and angry he was with her answer. There was no way that he would let her leave, particularly not with his son. They were both too important to him and he could not allow it. “Before you make your decision, I pray that you will come to me first. I think you owe me that much.”

“I will not leave without telling you, Calder,” she said, trying to hold onto her resolve. “But, in the meantime, I believe it would be best if we do not spend any time alone together.”

She lowered her eyes to the table, not wanting him to see how much it hurt her to say those words to him. Calder had no chance to respond before the door banged open and Radolf walked in with Draco.

Radolf proudly held a stringer of fish in his pudgy hands. Draco looked curiously between Regan and Calder, feeling the tension in the room and realizing their arrival had interrupted something important.

“The boy improves each time he fishes,” Draco said, hoping to lighten the atmosphere. Radolf was grinning as he took his stringer over to Calder to inspect, then handed it to his mother.

“Did they fight hard, son?” Calder asked, pride fighting with envy as he spoke. He should be the one who was teaching Radolf how to fish and hunt, not Draco, but he was needed at the castle and it could not be helped.

“Yes, Lord Cawer,” Radolf responded excitedly, running back over to his side and spending several minutes detailing his struggles in landing the fish.

“You are learning well, Radolf,” Calder said, smiling down at him. He was unable to miss the bruise on the boy’s face and knew it must be a gift from one of the other village children. It infuriated him that he was unable to protect his own son and he resolved to come up with a solution to the problem this very night.

Ruffling Radolf’s curls, he stood and moved toward the doorway. “We must be on our way now. I will be back to visit you soon, alright, Radolf?”

“Yes, Lord Cawer, I miss seeing you,” he answered shyly.

“I miss you, as well,” Calder said sincerely. Then, looking pointedly at Regan, he added, “Both of you. I’ll be back soon to look in on you. Is that alright with you, Regan?”

“Yes, Milord,” she answered with a sad smile, appreciating his concern, but knowing it was not enough to keep her from having to leave this place.

            CHAPTER 16

Surprisingly enough, life did improve after Calder’s visit. Albeit, the fact that one of his knights was always at Regan and Radolf’s side whenever they left their cottage, was surely the reason why.

Regan felt guilty taking a pair of strong hands away from the work on the castle. She got such delight from the looks on the other villager’s faces, however, that she did not complain about their presence. It never failed, someone would start to make a rude comment, then catch the intimidating glare from the fearsome knight by her side and almost swallow their tongue along with their words, and Regan could barely restrain her giggles.

She also noticed a change in Radolf. He was becoming carefree again, able to leave the cottage without worrying where the bullies would jump him this day.

There was only one unpleasant incident and, in the end, it bolstered Radolf’s confidence even more. They were walking toward the river to do wash when a large rock struck Radolf.

He fell to the ground with a sob and grabbed his leg. The knight, Kenny, hesitated just a moment to make sure the injury was not serious, then drew his sword and ran into the bushes from which the rock had come.

The massive knight emerged a few moments later. His sword was back in its sheath and he was dragging two young boys along beside him by their ears.

“Apologize,” Kenny said sternly to the ragamuffins, neither much older than nine or ten. Their faces were screwed up in fear as they looked at Radolf, who was still lying on the ground.

“Sorry, Radolf,” one boy muttered, tilting his head to the side to ease the pressure on his ear.

“Now you,” Kenny said, tweaking the other boy’s ear until he was almost kneeling from the pain. Both lads were twice Radolf’s size, and Regan’s heart skipped a beat when she realized that they were among those who had been tormenting and beating up her young son.

“Sorry,” the older boy said sullenly, grunting when Kenny pinched his ear once more before releasing him.

“You will both appear before Lord Calder this evening to explain your actions, or I will come looking for you,” the knight added ominously, then both boys ran in the opposite direction as fast as they could.

Regan was filled