101 Ways to...., Tiffany Marie Waller [english novels to improve english TXT] 📗

101 Ways to annoy your teacher-
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, you answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, you answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, you answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, you say “is that so?”
5. If you so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher you did not turn in your homework because you were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper airplane and fly it to the teacher’s desk. Extra points if it hits the teachers head.
10. Beg your teacher for extensions on reports.
11. Whisper to your neighbor during a test, but claim it was the sugar ants on the floor.
12. Argue with your teacher about your test grade and claim it was supposed to be one or two points higher than it actually is.
13. While your teacher is grading papers in class, sharpen your pencil. Very loudly.
14. When the teacher says to stop, covertly break the lead and say “but it’s not sharpened”.
15. Roll your pencil across the desk.
16. Do drum rolls with your pencil. Use the head of the person in front of you as the cymbals.
17. Never bring a pen or pencil so you always have to borrow one from the teacher.
18. Return the pencil to the teacher, with the eraser end all chewed and slobbery.
19. Use crayon for important assignments. Purple crayon.
20. Lean your chair back so that it is balancing on only two legs. Extra points if you fall over backward.
21. Covertly chew gum in class. Extra points if you snap and crack it with out being caught.
22. When possible, eat food in class. Loud, crunchy food.
23. Go into the graphics options on the school computers, click graphics properties and click on rotation. Rotate 180 degrees. Extra points if the teacher can’t find out how to get it back the way it was.
24. Put wads of chewed gum on the end of your pencil.
25. Ask to be excused to the bathroom. Even if you just came from recess lunch.
26. When the teacher asks a question, raise your hand. If the teacher calls on you, ask if you can go to the bathroom.
27. Ask if you can be excused to go to the bathroom, then take a tour arround the school.
28. Put too many staples on your paper when you staple it. Extra points if you make a good design with them.
29. Write so small on your paper that the teacher can barely read it.
30. Bring brightly colored notebook paper to write on. Examples: neon pink, purple, red, orange, green…and so on.
31. Blurt out the answers to the teachers questions.
32. When your teacher asks a question, wiggle in your seat and shout “I know, I know!”
33. When the teacher ask a question, wave your hand like a palm tree in a hurricane and say “pick me, pick me!” When the teacher finally calls on you, say “never mind”.
34. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you, look innocent and say “I was just stretching”.
35. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you say “I wasn’t paying attention”.
36. Make basket shots with every paper you want to throw away. Extra points if you get a basket.
37. When the teacher calls on you, tell her the longest personal story you know.
38. When the teacher says “Pay attention please” reply “how much should I pay?”
39. When the teacher calls on you, talk so softly that the teacher can barely hear you. When she tells you to speak up, pretend to be dead on your desk.
40. When the teacher calls on you say “finally”—Even if you where picked first.
41. Count how many times your teacher says um. At the end of the period, present the grand total at the end of class.
42. For your book report, choose the shortest book with the most pictures you can find.
43. Whistle while you work.
44. Never seem to listen to directions.
45. Right after the teacher gives directions say “huh”.
46. Comb, brush, or braid your hair in class.
47. Bring a lizard, mouse, rat, exedra into class. “Accidentally” let it lose. Extra points if the teacher screams like a little girl.
48. Don’t work when the teacher is looking. Work when the teacher is working.
49. Sigh, “This is boring” heavily.
50. Laugh out loud for no reason.
51. Don’t talk to a substitute teacher because the is a “stranger”.
52. Never let your teacher finish a sentence without an interruption.
53. After everything your teacher says say “That’s what you think”.
54. If you have a substitute teacher, ask you and your friends to sit in all different places so that the substitute’s seating chart is all messed up.
55. Track sand into the classroom by “accident”.
56. Keep dropping your pencil.
57. Call her “grandma”.
58. Call him “grandpa”
59. Throw lots of spit wads.
60. Fall asleep in class. If the teacher wakes you, say “aww, I was dreaming you were actually nice”.
61. After class, cover every inch of the dry-erase board with dry-erase marker so that the teacher can not write anything on it.
62. Hide other books inside of text books and appear to be reading the text book.
63. After every time the teacher explains something ask “is that going to be on the test?”
64. After every time the teacher explains something say “well, duh”.
65. Make up humorous excuses for being late.
66. Forget to have your parents make excuses for being late.
67. Yell “Yessssssssss” after every time you finished something. Anything.
68. Annoy Ms./Mr.(teachers name) AT ALL COST.
69. If Mr. Corley walks by, whistle innocently, and when he turns his back, run fast.
70. Make animal shows on projector.
71. Read your math book when you are supposed to be reading history. If the teacher asks why, say “oh, how did that get there?”
72. Read comic books hidden in your text books.
73. Ask a teacher how old she is. When she replies, put your hand over your heart and say “WOW!”
74. Ask the same question the teacher just finished answering 10 minutes ago.
75. Knock a heavy text book off your desk again…and again…and again….and again….
76. Keep finding an excuse to keep walking in front of the projector.
77. Smudge up your paper so that it is hard to read.
78. Ask for help on something. Then say “never mind”. Then ask for help on the same thing 2 minutes later to annoy your teacher.
79. Make animal bunny ears to the teacher if she/he is infront of the projector.
80. Read out loud during silent reading time.
81. Pretend to fall asleep instead of following instructions. Then say “I don’t get it”.
82. Doodle on your desk. Big, hard to ignore doodles.
83. Write stupid questions on your desk.
84. Put messages in your textbooks.
85. Always write in marker. Bright neon marker colors.
86. While the teacher is talking, roll your eyes. Then yawn and stretch. After that, gaze longingly out the window. Keep looking at the clock every five minutes. Sigh. Very loudly.
87. Whistle very loudly when the teacher is trying to concentrate.
88. Never look up a word in the dictionary. Always ask your teacher.
89. Make your id picture hard to read.
90. Put staples all over the floor.
91. If you have the guts, start a food fight. ?
92. Come in just after the bell every day.
93. Complain about the food at the school cafeteria.
94. Pretend like you have only one brain cell.
95. Where sunglasses inside. Even if it is cloudy.
96. Laugh stupidly. Often.
97. Talk loudly about your favorite show.
98. If you can, get the necessary materials to take over the p.a system. Then, play forty minutes of your favorite cd over it. Extra points if you do not get caught.
99. Play coin football during silent reading time.
100. Gather your stuff ten minutes before class ends.
101. Run out of the classroom right after the bell. Before the teacher dismisses you.


101 Ways to Annoy people at Walmart-
1) Stand in the middle of Walmart and yell to everyone, "I MADE A PEE PEE!!!"...
2) And when people respond by staring at you as if you're a freak, yell, "WHAT?! DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?! I MADE A PEE PEE IN THE POTTY! YAAAAY!!!"...
3) And grin proudly when you hear scattered applause
4) Wear a t-shirt inside Walmart that says, "Walmart was Created By Satan for His Spawns To Buy Cheap Underwear"
5) Go inside the magazine section and yell, "I DON'T SEE THE PLAYBOY MAGAZINE! WHAT THE *bleep*?! WHERE'S MY HOT CHICKS?!" (Works especially if you're a girl)...
6) Fake extreme happiness when a perverted old man says, "It's right here, help yourself, I already bought fourteen copies."...
7) And ask him why he bought so much and then act extremely disgusted when he says, "I'm givin' one to my grandson Jimmy for his fourth birthday!"
8) Go inside the music section and start smashing a popular CD...
9) And when someone comes over to ask you why you're stomping it, act angry...
10) And say, "Yo momma told me to!" and snap in their face
11) During Christmastime, put on a Michael Jackson outfit and hold a Santa Station where you get little kids to sit on your laps...
12) Then have a friend yell, "HEY! ISN'T THAT THE PEDOPHILE THAT WAS ON TV?!"...
13) Then strike the MJ customary crotch thrust and run outta there
14) Go to the food aisle and start cramming your face with food...
15) And when someone comes up to you asking what you're doing, yell, "I'M EATING! THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING!!!"...
16) And then yell and scream as you are "escorted" out of Walmart
17) Put on an inflatable sumo wrestler suit that makes you look like you're 2000 pounds...
18) And try to walk in Walmart's front door...
19) And then threaten to sue when you get stuck
20) Hijack Walmart's intercom system and play "Fergalicious" over and over again
21) Try to steal from Walmart...
22) Obviously
23) Start a pretend fight in Walmart with your friend over cheap understuffs, yelling, "THESE FROOT OF THE LOOMS ARE WAY BETTER THAN YOUR SECRET DEODARANT!"...
24) And then act digusted when a crowd of the opposite gender gathers around you, rooting you on
25) Start a Soul Train line in the Entertainment department
26) Declare today "Free Samples Of Everything Day"...
27) And take free samples of...everything :)
28) Offer yourself as a movie critic for walmart...
29) And every movie that the customer tries to buy, say, "That movie sucks! Find something else,