Mule Trading Blues, Stanley Mcqueen [ebook reader macos .TXT] 📗

“Is that Fred Woodyard coming down the wagon road, leading a mule?” Pa asked, as we both sat in the yard, taking a rest from hoeing corn on a hot June day.

“I expect it is, “I answered, “and if it isn’t, whoever it is, he sure walks like Fred.”

Sure enough, as he approached the side of the wagon road that goes past our shack, we could see it was Fred.

“Howdy boys,” Fred’s loud voice rumbled, and we both replied, “Howdy.”

Pa asked him where he got the strange mule that he was leading.

“Well, Daniel, I traded the best cow I had for this gentleman mule. I think I beat old Woodrow Smith in a trade this time,” Fred bragged.

“You did?” asked pappy.

“Yes, sir, he showed me what a good plough mule he was before we made the swap,” Fred explained.

Both pappy and I knew right off that the mule that good natured old Fred Woodyard had just traded was a mean old bastard that had been traded more than any mule around these parts. Woodrow Smith had built two hay barns just by trading this barn buster. People who had traded for him always had to pay Woodrow a large sum of money to take the mean mule back off their hands, and to cap it all, he’d keep a cow or whatever they had traded him, so we both knew that Fred was in for a big surprise.

Pa always told me that Fred was a little light upstairs; not crazy, pappy would say, just too gullible, believing everything anyone would tell him. I knew pappy would not tell that poor humble farmer about the mule; he would let him learn for himself.

Gathering the rope around the animal’s neck, Fred said, “Boys, I would like to talk to you more, but I better get on down to my farm and get this mule used to the barn and pasture,” and with that he lead his mule on down the wagon road.

Pa smiled. “We’ll be seeing Fred again in a day or so when his barn has been kicked to bits by that mean, no-account mule.”

Pa was right. It was three day later when we were sitting in the yard, resting, that we saw Fred coming up the road, leading the tall mule he had traded for three days prior. When he got to where we were sitting, Pa spoke to him and asked where he was off to with the mule.

“Daniel, I’m a ruined man. This blasted mule has kicked my barn door off, he’s about run my cows to death, and I had to take a log chain and tie him to that big oak that stands in front of my shack. My woman is threatening to leave me for making such a bad trade – it was her cow that I traded for this old mean no account mule. She told me today that if I didn’t get rid of it, she would be gone before nightfall. She threatened to leave all six of our kids with me to raise on my own.

“I tell you right off, I am destroyed. I am headed off to see Woodrow Smith, to try and persuade him to take this damned mule off my hands.”

“Your trouble is just beginning,” said pappy. “Old Woodrow is a hard man and he trades for keeps. He won’t give you your cow back either, not unless you pay for her outright. You’ll have to pay him at least two hundred dollars to take the mule back, plus he will. keep the cow to boot, unless you pay a lot back for it.”

“Well,” said Fred, “I’m going to give it a try. I’ll see you boys directly.” With that, Fred led the mule slowly away and pappy and I watched our worried neighbor head down the wagon road towards Woodrow’s Smith’s farm.

“I never seen a man so blue,” Pa said, and grinned.

“Yes, he is downhearted, I agree.”

It was no more than an hour later that we saw Fred coming back down the wagon road. This time, his face was redder than a beet pickle.

“He sure is hopping mad,” Pa whispered, hoping Fred was not close enough to hear him.

“Dan, you’ll never believe what happened,” Fred gulped. “That damn mule fell dead on me about a mile down the road and folks in wagons cannot pass by him and they are all madder than a stirred up hornet’s nest. Would you harness up your mule and drag him out of the road?”

“Yes,” Pa said, winking at me, “but it will cost you fifty dollars.”

“OK, that’s a deal. I’ll be glad to pay you this fall when my crops sell,” agreed Fred.

Pa was just kidding around, wanting Fred to fret some more. He had me fetch our mules, and we hurried off down to where the mule was lying across the road. Folks were cussing out our neighbor, Fred, and women’s babies were getting hot in their covered wagons. It was a mess for sure. We snaked that mule to a deep faraway away hollow on our farm so folks would not smell him, and Fred’s face returned to its normal color.

Fred asked Pa to do him one more favor. “Could you loan me ten dollars for a week or so until I get my sawmill wages? I’ll gladly pay you back then,” Fred asked.

“What do you need ten dollars for?” pappy asked, handing him a fresh ten dollar bill.

“I’ll tell you right off, Daniel. I’m going across that ridge yonder and buying me a horse quart of moonshine to rid my soul of all this blasted misery that I have been in for the last three whole days.”

“You got the ‘horse quart’ part wrong,” Pa told Fred. “You mean a ‘mule quart’ of whiskey.

Fred smiled at Pa and got what he meant about the mule quart instead of a horse quart.

“Yes, I get that message,” Fred grinned.

“I was kidding you about the fifty dollars to drag that mule off and out of the road,” Pa said. “I believe you came out ahead, simply because that mule died and you never were out the two hundred dollars to pay Woodrow to take the mule off your hands.”

“Yes, that is true,” Fred said, shaking our hands. He then walked away towards the ridge, headed for the bootlegger to rid his soul of misery.

Pa looked at me and said, “He is a sight for sore eyes, son, but a mighty good fellow to say the least.”

Pappy and I never seen fred for several days ,and it was on monday when Fred come to our farm , and he asked pappy about another loan.

That Mule is going to break you up say's Pappy , and Fred eyes  get big at Pappy words.

Daniel I am a ruin man because,  i traded for and outlaw Mule that is not worth a pinch of sweet snuff.

How much money do you need this time asked? Pappy'

Could you spare a hundred dollars" asked Fred ?

Pappy pull his  money bag out ,and reaches Fred a Hundred dollar . and say's you can pay me back when you sell your Corn crops .

There is one more thing i need to borrow say's Fred .

what that Pappy asked?

you should be able to guess what says Fred .

Oh pappy says would it be to borrow  my Mule to make your corn crops" Asked? Pappy"

Fred chuckles and says Daniel your the smartest man i know.

Fred leaves our farm walking in a good stride, with a hundred dollars of borrowed money in his pocket.

As we both watch Fred form get farther away from us down the wagon road toward his Farm .

Pappy says once again Fred Woodyard is a site for sore eyes and the worse Mule trader in the county of Muddy fork counrty  The end

Text: Stanley McQueen
Editing: Valerie Byron
Publication Date: 10-26-2012

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Dedication:
Dedicated to the good folks at Book Rix