The Justice Nerds, Robert, Cody, Dayna [best historical biographies .txt] 📗

a random guy raking up his leaves. “VAT are you doing?!” Vosh screamed. The man jumped, startled.
“… raking my yard?” he said innocently, confused.
“How DARE you insult my country!!” Vosh clenched his fists. The blood was rising in his face, and a vein throbbed in his temple.
“What are you talking about?!”
“You are raking up my FLAG!!”
“WhAT?! These are leaves!!” The man was starting to get frustrated now.
“Yeah, and what’s on the Russian flag? That’s right! A MAPLE LEAF!”
The man threw down his rake. “That’s the CANADIAN FLAG, you idiot!!”
Crickets.
“… I knew that…” Vosh mumbled, scratching his head and looking off at some random spot on the ceiling.
“What is wrong with you?!” the man continued, on a rant now. “You don’t even know your own flag and you have the gall to insult—“ Vosh slammed the door shut.
“So… whose story is next?”
“I don’t know,” C.B. said.
“Oh, no… no, no, no!” a voice said from the other side of the house. “BOOM”….
Whoooo! The sound of screaming wind and wood cracking.
“What was that?” C.B. asked.
“I don’t know…” C.B. said to himself.
“Let’s go see what happened,” Noraax said. They moved to the hallway and opened a door leading into one of the several living rooms. As they entered the lifeless room, they noticed that half of the house was missing. “What the horse poop?!” Noraax said with extreme emotion.
“Sorry… sorry…” Black Hole said from a bathroom that was once on the other side of the house.
“Vat!” Vosh yelled.
“I SAID SORRY!” B.H. screamed back.
“VAT!!”
“SORRYYY!!!”
“VA—“
“Shut up!” Noraax yelled at Vosh. “He said sorry. Now, B.H. what happened?”
“Well I kinda made myself cough and hiccup at the same time and it caused a black hole,” B.H. said while walking toward the rest of the gang. He had to crawl over rubble, shoot off zombies, and dance his way to Noraax. When he got to Noraax and the others he was wearing an afro, and he did a spin. B.H. stood in front of the other three, and he slowly took off the afro. “Well, I wasn’t always this dangerous… well, I mean I was always a dangerous guy, you know how girls like dangerous men? But, I was not this dangerous. So—“ B.H. said until C.B. interrupted him.
“You just said dangerous like four times in one sentence,” C.B. said.
“Shut up, I’m trying to talk,” B.H. said. “Anyway….” The disco ball that hung from the ceiling unfolded into a giant screen, and from out of the opposite wall came an old projector. Black Hole pushed a button on the remote that had suddenly appeared in his hand, and his flashback began to play on the screen.

Black Hole sat in the back of a van that seemed to be speeding towards the end of the earth. Outside the sky was a terrible mixture of blacks and grays, and the clouds seemed to be bunched up in fury. B.H. could feel the ground rumbling. The vibrations from the thunder outside made it hard for him to stand as he tried to read the many instruments and screens in front of him.
“We’re getting closer!!” his friend called excitedly from the driver’s seat.
A giant spaceship zoomed into Earth’s atmosphere with its invisibility shields up.
“There it is!!” a tiny alien voice squeaked. “Finally, fuel!” The alien maneuvered a joystick with his knobby green fingers and steered the ship towards a giant tornado that was busy munching on a random farm in the middle of a corn field.
“We need to get closer!” B.H. shouted over the howling wind. The van swerved into the cornfield. “CLOSER!” he demanded.
“I can’t! The winds are too strong!” The driver of the van was stomping on the gas pedal as hard as he could, and he could hear the wheels spinning fruitlessly, but the van was driving in place. It was as though he had run into a force field.
There was the sound of a door slamming.
“What are you doing?!” B.H. had gotten out of the van and was trying to shoulder his way closer to the tornado with a probe tucked under his arm.
“Beginning the energy-acquiring process!!” the alien announced, punching a red button on the top of the joystick. A giant whirring funnel descended from the bottom of the spaceship and began sucking up the violent winds.
Suddenly B.H. lost his footing. He grabbed at the cornstalks around him in an attempt to stay grounded. The cornstalks were uprooted, and B.H. was whisked into the heart of the tornado.
A moment later the contraption began to groan. “Uh…” one of the aliens said. The other sighed and looked at the radar.
“Looks like one of those dumb Homo sapiens has clogged it…” he grumbled. “I suppose we’ll have to put him back together.” B.H. had been reduced to billions of unstable particles, and was whirring around an energy chamber with all of the harnessed winds from the tornado.
“His body has fully broken down into very tiny molecules,” exclaimed one of the other aliens.
“There’s his eye!” shouted another
“I found a finger-part-thingie!”
“I found a penny!” said another alien in an excited manner.
“Chaanngee!!!” shouted an onboard, random hobo.
“Vat?!” questioned an alien with an accent.
The hobo rushed in and ambushed the one unlucky fellow with the pocket change.
“Chaaanngge!” shouted, again, the hobo.
“Put a stop to him! Stop him!”
“CHAAANnnNGgEeeE!” He began to flail around and eventually came across a big, red button. “Change!”
“No!” The hobo then pressed the button, causing a flicker in the room, and B.H.’s molecules began to blur. Suddenly, the molecules brightened up and flew together to form the shape of a human. B.H.’s body was now complete and was glowing even brighter.
One alien said, “NO! You stupid human, look what you did!” B.H. suddenly shot directly down into the ground.
“Okay, I think it’s over—“ BOOM! A black hole formed around B.H., sucking in the tornado, alien spaceship, and all of the cornstalks in a mile radius. Then there was silence, and B.H. laid there for a while. B.H. woke in a blur.
“Ahhh…” Black Hole said while holding his head. Then as the daze went away, B.H. noticed that he was standing in the bottom of a bowl made out of dirt. “Whoooa,” B.H. said as he looked around. Then he climbed out of the bowl. “Whooooa!” He was standing in a gigantic crop circle.

“Sooo… you were abducted by alien…” Noraax asked.
“Yes?” B.H. said back. Noraax, C.B., and Vosh looked at each other.
“… Ha Ha Ha Ha…” the three of them laughed all together.
“Yeah, you got abducted by aliens and I was struck by radioactive electricity… ha ha ha,” Noraax giggled.
“You did, idiot,” Vosh said.
“Oh yeah…”
“Shut up, I did get abducted!” B.H. yelled. “And for some reason now I have a weird desire to eat corn.” His afro suddenly appeared again, and he pulled an ear of corn out of it. Then he bit off a chunk of the end, cob and all, and chewed it noisily.
“B.H., did you create a massively huge destructive black hole that ate the living room again?!” a voice shouted in one breath from one of the upper floors.
Suddenly there was a rattling sound, and all the silverware drawers shot open. Everyone turned to see a figure standing at the foot of the stairs, looking annoyed and covered in utensils.
“Hey, Tin Kan!” B.H. said cheerfully. There was yet another rattling noise. T.K. turned her gaze warily to the stove, where a frying pan had begun to quiver.
“Not again….” The pan shot straight at her head, but she caught it just in time, struggling to keep it from attaching to her stomach. “How many times do I have to tell you guys not to leave metal objects unlocked?! Do you have any idea how long it’s going to take to pry all this stuff off?!” As she said it, she yanked a spoon off of her nose.
Vosh grinned guiltily as he pulled a padlock out of his pocket. “Sorry… I forgot to lock the silverware drawer….”
“It’s not our fault that you have this… unfortunate side effect from your powers,” C.B. snickered. T.K. glared at him. In an instant she had molded the frying pan into a pitchfork and trapped C.B. against the wall with it. “I did not mean it in a bad way! Calm down!”
“Gosh darnit!” said B.H.
“Vat did I do?!” shot back Vosh, in a defensive way.
“What?” questioned Noraax.
“Everybody, calm down!” again, said C.B.
“You need to change what you say, man!” demanded B.H.
“CHAAAaAnNnnGgge!” shouted a spontaneous hobo.
“Get outta’ here!” T.K. yelled as she molded the pitchfork into a cannon. Then, she fired the cannon at the hobo, causing him to fall. While he fell, there was the sound of a hobo’s scream fading off….
“Well, what do we do about the destroyed room?” asked T.K.
“I think we leave it,” responded Vosh. “Yes, yes, leaves nice touch to home, yes?”
“You know we can’t keep it….”
“… poop….”
Then T.K. folded the cannon and some other things nearby into a construction truck.
“What are you doing?” asked Noraax.
“Well, someone has to clean up this mess, and it appears that none of you will do so…” said T.K. Then she began to work her way throughout the room, shoving debris off the floor and into the mountainside.
“How do you do that?!” questioned Noraax.
“Do what?”
“How do (or can) you do that with metal?”
“You mean my story? Of how I got my power? OK, but if I tell you my story, all of you have to help me.”
“Wait, I did not mean—“
“It all began many, many, manys the time ago….”
“No, I did not ask about a flashba—“
“I was working at a scrap yard, you know with all the broken cars and other metals….”

T.K. entered the metal-filled yard with a friendly smile on her face. She stood in front of the entrance and stretched as her two other co-workers walked up behind her.
“Ready for another wonderful day of crushing metal,” Sam (the first co-worker) said. Sam was an older gentleman that was about five-foot-eight with gray hair.
“Of course I’m ready,” T.K. responded.
“Well, I know I’m ready,” Mary announced (other co-worker). Mary was younger than Sam, about 15 years younger. She had blonde hair and she was a strong woman but yet very nice. T.K. looked over at the main office. She opened the door and walked over to a check-in desk.
“How are you today?” T.K. questioned to a wall.
“I’m doing alright today,” a random voice that came out of nowhere said. T.K.’s boss came out of a door that led to his office.
“Alright, time to work,” Boss man said.
“Yes, sir,” T.K. said.
Four hours passed and T.K. was running the metal compressor. Sam was using the magnetic crane and dropped a group of car batteries and car doors. Sam would usually give T.K. a thumbs up if he wanted her to crush it, but he didn’t yet. Sam was going for a broken-down car. The crane picked it up and was moving towards the compressor and was right above T.K. The crane stalled and wouldn’t budge, and then an electric explosion occurred over at a power plant, right next to a radioactive plant, next to a nuclear waste plant, right next to “Talking Tacos”. It shut off all of the electricity and the car fell down and shoved T.K. over the railing into the compressor. The electricity turned on and started the compressor. The force of the crushing sprayed the battery acid all over T.K. The battery acid sizzled as it burned into T.K.’s skin. The