My Awesome book of Quotes, Facts and Definitions, Chocolatemeerkat [macos ebook reader TXT] 📗

Diary ~ A human being's thoughts and feelings revealed in a piece of writing.

Ipod ~ A overpriced MP3 player with a picture of a fruit on the back.

Macbook ~ Similar to Ipod, but a overpriced computer/laptop with the same picture on the back.

Iphone ~ Very similar to Ipod, but a overpriced phone with the exact same picture on the back. (I think I'll be here all day naming every single Apple product -_-)

Ipad ~ Guess what?! It's a overpriced tablet with a picture of a apple on the back!!! OMG BREAKING NEWS!!!

Ipod Touch ~ I don't think I have to go over this one.... look at the Ipod definition

Typo ~ A terribell fail that I point out all the time :D Oh wait a minute... my bad, there's a mistake.

Tooth Fairy ~ A fake myth to get little kids excited about their teeth falling out.

Plastic Knife ~ A deadly weapon that encourages kids to take up the lifestyle of a murderer.

Plastic Ice-Cream Scoops ~ Even worse than plastic knives. Must I go over why?

:) ~ A smiley face. (Yes, I'm aware it's not a word...)

Justin Bieber ~ The scariest human being ever to exist -_- No offence to Bieber fangirls

Time ~ Spoiled everyone's life. Enough said.

Vampires ~ Made-up myths to enlighten teenage girls.

Twilight ~ By far the stupidest, most non-existant, confusing love story ever. Get over it, Twilighters.

Siblings ~ The most annoying people on Earth, I'm pretty sure everyone can agree with me on this one.

Facebook ~ Clogs up your email with updates every single second, most of them being 'Someperson comments on a status that you're tagged in'.

I've come to the conclusion that 'The Polar Express' is encouraging drugs. Did anyone notice how after the kids drunk the hot chocolate, they all fell off their seats in a sleepy manner?

You may think that charites are doing something great with your 'generous donations', but really they're ripping people off. Come on, £5 for a text message?! Not forgetting to mention how much these charites keep for themselves.

I'm pretty sure everyone has had bad expriences with Autocorrect, but haven't you stopped to think that it's been designed to 'correct' things? I find it funny how people spell things wrong, then blame it on poor old Autocorrect.

Many people think of jealousy as a 'green-eyed monster', but what if you said that to a person with green eyes? Racist or what?

Has anyone stopped and wondered what happens to you when you die? I bet you're thinking about it now!

I find it funny how people how love one certain song, and they'll keep listening to that song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, then after a while they'll say "Wow, this song is really boring," or "I've heard it too many times," or "MY POOR EARS! THIS SONG IS SO TERRIBLE!".

Has anyone stopped to think how some animals got their names? Yes, it's probably

from Latin, but how did they come up with that? You never know, a 'giraffe' might have ended up as 'long-necked leopard'.

If you want to make some fun out of the British motto, change some words and you'll get 'Eat Calm And Keep A Cupcake' or something else. (from Keep Calm And Eat Cupcakes)

When you go to the cinema and watch some really scary film or a 12 film or whatever, has anyone noticed how many 3 or 4 year olds sit in the cinema and watch the same film, then somehow don't get scared? Same with sad films, how the little kids never cry and the adults are in floods of tears? By far the strangest thing ever.

I find it funny how people can't tell the difference between crying and laughing because they sound the same.

"If you don't have the guts to take the truth, then you're not a real person." - Me

"Life is like a rollercoaster, it has it's ups and downs." - ???

"You can take what you want, but you'll never take away my pride." - Me

"We are all born to be free, much like a bird. It's just we don't have the brains to fly." - Me

"A best friend is someone you can always trust, will never let you down, someone you can go mental with, will always look out for you and will never stop caring about you." - ???

"You do your worst and we will do our best." - Winston Churchill

"A light heart lives long." - William Shakespeare

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." - Helen Keller

"After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box." - Italian proverb

Images: The photo on the cover was taken by me. I allow no use of it in any way or form
Publication Date: 01-05-2013

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