M*A*S*H Quotes #21-#50, Compiled by John Damocles Smith. [ebook reader macos txt] 📗

#21:- (Colonel Blake when reading a map of a minefield to help others walk out of it safely)

"Take another step six inches to your right and that should take you to downtown Berlin."


#22:-
Frank- "Disgusting, disgusting! Why is it that every time I come in here it's disgusting?"

Hawkeye- "I think that says it all, Frank."


#23:-
Frank- "That's the last straw!"

Hawkeye- "Remind me to order more straws."


#24:-
Hawkeye- "Trapper, you're a married man."

McIntyre- "That's only a rumour started by my wife."


#25:-
Irritated General interviewed by Hawkeye and McIntyre- "This is a press conference, the last thing I want to do is answer a lot of questions."


#26:- Alternate salute by Hawkeye. He saluted normally then changed it by placing his thumb on his nose.


#27:-
McIntyre- "Wake-up Hawkeye."

Radar- "While he's asleep?"

McIntyre- "That's the best time."


#28:-
Col. Blake- "I know how badly you want out of the army."

Klinger- "Oh, yes sir."

Col. Blake- "But it's my considered opinion that no-one's going to believe that you're pregnant.


#29:-
Col. Blake- Radar, I thought I told you to fix that hole in the nurse's tent."

Radar- "Sorry sir, it took me a week longer than I expected."


#30:-
Col. Blake- "The thing is I just not good at discipline, it took me six months just to house-break my dog... ...although there was a newspaper strike at the time."


#31:-
Hawkeye- "I'm counting on you to keep it quiet."

Nurse-"I'll add that to the list."


#32:-
Frank (talking to his wife on the phone)-"It's good to talk to you again, honey."

Maj. Houlihan- "Who the hell is that?"

Frank- "My wife... ...oh, Major Houlihan just came in..." (shouts away from phone) "...Hi Jim!"


#33:-
"Father, organize some more blood donors."

"You've just been promoted to vampire."


#34:-
Hawkeye- "What's wrong with individuality."

Frank- "Individuality is fine, as long as we all do it together."


#35:-
McIntyre- "Your lips move plenty."

Hawkeye- "Only if there's a girl attached."


#36:-
McIntyre- "Being so far away, not being able to share their growing up."

"Is there something troubling you, my son?"

McIntyre- "Father, I'm not Catholic."

McIntyre- "Just wait until you have children, Father."


#37:-
Col. Blake- "All, personnel, regardless of rank, will attend a on-half hour session of calisthenics."

Maj. Houlihan- "Calistenics is a good idea, I, for one, am soft."

Col. Blake- "Is that true, Frank?"


#38:-
Frank (clipping his nose hair)-"I never noticed I had so much hair there."

Hawkeye- "I did, I always thought it was an ingrown moustache."


#39:-
Hawkeye (refusing to carry a gun)-"I'll carry your books, carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, but I'll not carry a gun."


#40:-
Hawkeye to Colonel Flag of Army Intelligence (who's a constant nuisance to the 4077)-"We still have one of your hidden mikes in the latrines, we thought we'd make an album for you."


#41:-
Frank- "I'm willing to forgive, and to forget... that is something I'll always remember."


#42:-
Col. Blake- "Oh Major, you can't confine a nurse to her bed for one month... ...although there are a few who tried."


#43:-
(Klinger, Hawkeye, McIntyre, Col. Blake, and Radar watch a film.)
Radar- "Hey, that's his wedding pictures."

"That has to be, I can't see a casket."


#44:-
Maj. Houlihan- "Because of your orders, we have to work around the clock."

Hawkeye- "Fine, you have my permission to move the clock."


#45:-
(Col. Blake?)- "Posing as a priest."

Hawkeye- "They'd give him the electric pew."


#46:-
P.A Voiceover- "If anyone knows the whereabouts of tonight's dinner contact Col. Blake. Be on the lookout for a white Caucasian lamb, he's considered to be unarmed and delicious."


#47:-
Maj. Houlihan- "Is Major Burns in?"

Hawkeye- "The doctor's not in, just leave your name, symptoms and credit card number."


#48:-
Frank- "I hope you know that Majour Houlihan's Father served under General McArthur's in the cavalry."

Hawkeye- "What do you know, he was General McArthur's horse."


#49:-
Frank (regarding the late Col. Blake)- "That man was such a slob, may he rest in peace."


#50:-
Hawkeye (teaching Koreans English)- "I'll get the nurse."

Koreans- (Repeat Hawkeye's phrase.)

Hawkeye- "Franks Burns eats worms."

Koreans- (Repeat.)

Publication Date: 10-08-2011

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