The Jest Book<br />The Choicest Anecdotes and Sayings, Mark Lemon [e novels to read online .txt] 📗

href="#Page_246">246 "Out, Brief Candle", 33 Out of Spirits, 302 Outline, An, 304 Outline of an Ambassador, 272 Outward Appearance, 28 Over-wise, 101 Oxford and Cambridge Actors, 132 Paddy's Logic, 54 Painful Examination, A, 325 Painted Charms, 327 Painting, 162, 166 Painting and Medicine, 221 Par Nobile Fratrum, 148 Pardonable Mistake, A, 6 Parliamentary Case, 272 Parliamentary Reprimand, 184 Participation in a Practical Joke, 282 Partnership Dissolved, 88 Passing the Bottle, 11 Pat Reply, A, 161 Patience, 305 Patrick Henry, 175 Paying in Kind, 130, 257 Pence Table, 108 Perfect Bore, A, 246 Perfect Discontent, 131[Pg 384] Personalities of Garrick and Quin, 231 Pert, 164 Pertinent Enquiry, 208 Pertinent Question, A, 310, 347 Phenomenon Accounted for, A, 63 Philanthropist, The, 165 Philip, Earl, of Stanhope, 359 Philosophical Reason, A, 255 Phonetic Joke, A, 144 Picking Pockets, 321 Pickpocketing, 97 Piece de Resistance, 123 Piece of Plate, A, 113 Pig-headed, 56 Pigs and the Silver Spoon, The, 292 Pill Gratis, A, 133 Pink of Politeness, The, 36 Pious Minister, A, 131 Place Wanted, A, 67 Placebo, A, 67 Plain Enough, 267 Plain Language, 149 Plain Speaking, 249 Play upon Words, A, 256 Player, or Lord, 320 Playing on a Word, 33 Pleasant, 252 Pleasant Deserts, 72 Pleasant for a Father, 354 Pleasant Invitation, 8 Pleasant Message, A, 363 Pleasant Partner, A, 275 Plumper, A, 325 Plural Number, The, 249 Poet Foiled, The, 190 Poetical shape, A, 64 Poets to certain Critics, The, 225 Point, A, 106 Point Needing to be Settled, A, 349 Polite Rebuke, A, 208 Polite Scholar, The, 85 Political Corruption, 80 Political Logic, 348 Political Sinecure, 240 Poor Curate, The, 296 Poor Laugh, A, 349 Poor Law, 343 Poor Substitute, A, 301 Pope's Last Illness, 281 Popping the Question, 25 Porson v. Dr. Jowett, 214 Porson's Visit to the Continent, 27 Portmanteau v. Trunk, 127 Portrait Capitally Executed, A, 8 Poser, A, 44, 203, 226, 267, 287 Poser by Lord Ellenborough, A, 170 Possible Censors, 365 Post-Mortem, 69 Pot Valiant, 225 Powder without Ball, 281 Practical Retort, 248 Precautionary, 330 Preferable Way, A, 334 Preferment, 361 Prefix, A, 283 Pressing Reason, A, 232 Pretty, 308 Pretty Metaphor, A, 26 Pretty Picture, A, 38 Pretty Reply, A, 358 Previous Engagement, A, 366 Priest's Orders, 336 Prime's Preservative, 320 Primogeniture, 22 Prince of Orange and Judge Jefferies, The, 25 Principle of Governments, The, 314 Priority, 236 Probability, A, 147 Problem for Total Abstainers, A, 352 Profession and Practice, 331 Professional, 47 Professional Aim, A, 318 Professional Candor, 329 Professional Companions, 330 Professional Recognition, 351 Profitable Juggling, 97 Promise to Pay, A, 139 Proof Impression, 23 Proof Positive, 320 Proper Answer, A, 206 Proper Distinction, 174 Proper Name, A, 299 Proper Retort, A, 116 Prophecy, A, 74 Prosiness, 363 Proud Heart, A, 191 Proverb Reversed, A, 186 Provident Boy, A, 62 Proving their Metal, 16 Pulling up a Poet, 338 Punctuation, 139 Pungent Pinch, A, 336[Pg 385] "Puppies never See till they are Nine Days Old", 192 Pure Folks, 144 Purser, The, 28 Putting a Stop to Pilgrim's Progress, 90 Q.E.D., 79 Quaint Epitaph, 364 Qualifying for Bail, 33 Quantum Suff, 212 Quakerly Objection, A, 80 Queer Expression, A, 282 Queer Partners, 172 Query Answered, A, 62 Query for Mr. Babbage, A, 209 Question and Answer, 60 Question Answered, 312 Question for the Peerage, A, 167 Question of Descent, A, 354 Question of Time, 133 Quick Lie, A, 346 Quid Pro Quo, 86, 216, 267, 269 Quiet Dose, A, 226 Quiet Theft, 151 Quin and Charles I., 316 Quin and the Parson, 227 Quin's Saying, 50 Quin's Soliloquy on Seeing the embalmed body of Duke Humphrey, at St. Alban's, 38 Quite Aground, 199 Quite at Ease, 271 Quite Natural, 53 Quite Perfection, 24 Quite Poetical, 219 Quite Professional, 290 Quite True, 85 Railroad Engineer, The, 155 Rake's Economy, A, 164 Rare Virtue, 43 Rather A-curate, 262 Rather Ethereal, 278 Rather Ferocious, 303 Rather Hard, 133 Rather Saucy, 161 Rather the Worst Half, 257 Ready-made Wood Pavement, 174 Ready Reckoner, A, 70, 163, 259 Ready Reply, A, 73 Reason, A, 311 Reason for being too Late, A, 356 Reason for Belief, A, 326 Reason for Going to Church, 70 Reason for not Moving, A, 338 Reason for Polygamy, A, 342 Reason for Running Away, 248 Reason for Thick Ankles, 293 Reason Why, The, 94, 231 Reasonable Demand, A, 149 Reasonable Excuse, A, 193 Reasonable Preference, A, 323 Reasonable Refusal, A, 241 Reasonable Request, 102 Reasons for Drinking, 242 Rebel Lords, The, 196 Rebuke, A, 251 Reciprocal Action, 355 Recruiting Sergeant and Countryman, 86 Reflection, A, 96 Reformation, 176 Relations of Mankind, 173 Remarkable Echo, A, 309 Reproof, 115 Republic of Learning, The, 107 Republic of Letters, The, 324 Reputation, 181 Resignation, 144 Resting Herself, 334 Retort Cutting, The, 31 Reverse, A, 214 Reverse Joke, A, 221 Reverse of Circumstances, 10 Richmond Hoax, The, 262 Right Organ, The, 242 Rigid Impartiality, 359 Ringing the Changes, 91 Rising Son, The, 1 Riskful Adventure, A, 331 Rivals, The, 110 Rogers—Poet and Skipper, 176 Rowing in the Same Boat, 128 Rowland for an Oliver, A, 163 Royal Favor, 63 Royal Jest, A, 366 Royal Muff, A, 164 Royal Pun, 145 Rub at a Rascal, A, 61 Rule of Practice, A, 354 Ruling Passion after Death, The, 51 Ruling Passion Strong in Death, The, 200, 350 Ruling Passion, The, 129, 218, 367 Rum and Water, 141[Pg 386] Runaway Knock, A, 195 Running Accounts, 291 Running no Risk, 339 Saddle on the Right Horse, The, 18 Safe Appeal, A, 108 Safe Side, The, 292 Sage Advice, 28 Sage Simile, A, 61 Sailor's Wedding, 215 St. Peter a Bachelor, 286 Salad, 221 Salic Law, The, 361 Salisbury Cathedral Spire, 147 Sanitary Air, A, 218 Satisfaction, 108 Satisfactory Explanation, A, 340 Satisfactory Reason, A, 115 Satisfactory Total, 105 Saucy Answer, A, 363 Save us from our Friends, 157 Saving Time, 247 Scandalous, 25 Scold's Vocabulary, The, 40 Scotch Caution, 119 Scotch Medium, 130 Scotch Penetration, 133 Scotch Simplicity, 42 Scotch Understanding, 66 Scotch "Wut", 168, 316 Scotchman and Highwaymen, 291 Scott, Sir Walter, and Constable, 288 Scott's, Sir Walter, Parritch-pan, 283 Sealing an Oath, 65 Seasonable Joke, A, 89, 273 Season-ings, The, 207 Secret Discovered, A, 357 Seeing a Coronation, 127 Seeing not Believing, 270 Self-Applause, 314 Self-Conceit, 235 Self-Condemnation, 265, 325 Self-Interest, 367 Self-Knowledge, 76 Selwyn, George, 47 Sensibility, 304 Sent Home Free, 192 Sentence of Death, 34 Sermons in Stones, 341 Servants, 267 Setting him Up to Knock him Down, 178 Setting Up and Sitting Down, 256 Settled Point, A, 256 Settler, A, 149 Severe, 261 Severe Rebuke, 285 Shakespeare Illustrated, 129 Shakespearian Grog, 350 Shaking Hands, 53 Sharp Boy, 261 Sharp Brush, A, 320 Sharp, if not Pleasant, 245 Sheepish Compliment, A, 44 Sheridan and Burke, 336 Sheridan Convivial, 268 Short and Sharp, 134 Short Commons, 160 Short Creed, A, 218 Short Journey, 170, 278 Short Measure, 168 Short-Sighted, 254 Short Stories, 79 Should not Silence Give Consent, 236 Shuffling Answer, A, 327 Sign of being Cracked, 68 Significant Difference, A, 332 Silent Appreciation, 332 Silk Gown, A, 93 Simile, A, 344 Simple Division, 19 Simplicity of the Learned Porson, 82 Sims, Dr., 211 Sinecure, A, 182 "Sinking" the Well, 297 Slack Payment, 175 Sleeping at Church, 268 Sleeping Round, 106 Slight Difference, A, 111, 238 Slight Eruption, A, 114 Small Glass, A, 92 Small Inheritance, A, 3 Small Joke, A, 343 Small Talk, 303 Small Wit, 232 Smart One-pounder, A, 143 Smart Reply, 220 Smoking an M.P., 114 Smoothing It Down, 321 Snoring, 159 Snuff-box, The, 273[Pg 387] Snug Lying, 205 Soft, Very!, 76 Soldiers' Wives, 253 Solomon's Temple, 202 Something for Dr. Darwin, 1 Something Lacking, 204 Something Like an Insult, 80 Something Sharp, 344 Something to be Grateful for, 350 Something to be Proud of, 293 Something to Pocket, 301 Soporific, A, 195, 310 Sought and Found, 309 Sound and Fury, 9 Sound Conclusion, A, 57 Sound Sleeper, 17 Spare Man, A, 145 Spare the Rod, 239 Speaking Canvas, The, 307 Speaking of Sausages, 245 Special Pleading, 37 Species and Specie, 189 Specific Gravity of Folly, The, 155 Specimen of the Laconic, 306 Specimen of University Etiquette, 158 Spirit and the Letter, The, 112 Spirit of a Gambler, 270 Spiritual and Spirituous, 5 Spranger Barry, 146 Sprig of Shillalah, A, 27 Staffordshire Collieries, The, 202 Steam-boat Racing, 150 Sterne, 131 Stone Blind, 71 Stop Watch, A, 184 Stopper, A, 70 Stout Swimmer, A, 334 Strange Jetsum, 133 Strange Objection, A, 143 Strange Vespers, 201 Stray Shot, A, 77 Striking Notice, A, 9 Striking Point, A, 102 Striking Reproof, 38 Subtraction and Addition, 14 Sudden Change, A, 90 Sudden Freedom, 345 Suggestion, 49 Suggestive Pair of Grays, A, 197 Suggestive Present, A, 140 Suggestive Question, A, 148 Suggestive Repudiation, 323 Suited to his Subject, 35 Summary Decision, 194 Sun in his Eye, The, 346 Superfluous Scraper, A, 356 Superiority of Machinery, The, 306 Sure Take, A, 277 Swearing the Peace, 217 Sweeps, 234 Swift, Dean, and King William, 117 Sword and the Scabbard, The, 108 Sydney Smith, 104 Sydney Smith Soporific, 223 Syllabic Difference, A, 297 Symbol, A, 7 Take Warning!, 315 Taking a Hint, 217 Taking his Measure, 121 Tall and Short, 40 Taste of Marriage, A, 165 Tavern Dinner, A, 264 Tell it not in England, 329 Telling One's Age, 225 Temperance Cruets, 284 Tender Suggestion, A, 345 Terrible Possibility, A, 343 "The Mixture as Before", 22 Theatrical Mistakes, 98 Theatrical Purgations, 314 Theatrical Wit, 124 Thelwall, Mr., 209 "Thereby Hangs," &c., 167 Things by their Right Names, 210 Three Causes, 7 Three Degrees of Comparison, 205 Three Ends to a Rope, 231 Three Touchstones, 15 "Throw Physic to the Dogs!", 233 Thurlow and Pitt, 121 Ticklish Opening, A, 324 Tierney's, Mr., Humor, 277 Tillotson, 280 Time Out of Joint, The, 187 Time Works Wonders, 112 Timely Aid, 243 Timely Flattery, 316 Timely Reproof, A, 115 Timidity of Beauty, The, 143 To the Coming Man, 313 Too Civil, 55 Too Civil by Half, 246 Too Clever, 250 Too Fast, 220[Pg 388] Too Good, 233 Too Grateful, 224 Too Liberal, 260 Too Many Cooks, 11 Too Much and Too Little, 244 Too Much at Once, 364 Too Much of a Bad Thing, 165 Too Cold to Change, 65 Top and Bottom, 140 Tory Liberality, 56 Touching, 109 Trade against Land, 156 Tragedy MS., 43 Transformation Scene, A, 201 Transporting Subject, A, 221 Transposing a Compliment, 41 Travellers See Strange Things, 317 Trophies, 210 True and False, 251 True Courtier, A, 43 True Criticism, 267 True Dignity, 261 True Evidence, 156 True Joke, A, 60 True of Both, 287 True Philosophy, 288 True Politeness, 164 True to the Letter, 287 True Wit, 123 Trump Card, A, 13 Truth and Fiction, 240 Truth and Rhyme, 137 Truth at Last, 133 Truth by Accident, The, 216 Truth for the Ladies, A, 100 Truth not Always to be Spoken, 88 Truth not to be Spoken at All Times, 78 Truth v. Politeness, 255 Trying to the Temper, 258 Twice Ruined, 79 Two Carriages, 275 Two Cures for Ague, 353 Two Make a Pair, 159 Two of a Trade, 77 Two Sides to a Speech, 90 Two Smiths, The, 28 Twofold Illustration, 42 Typographical Transfer, A, 332 Typographical Wit, 260 Ugly Dog, An, 48 Ugly Trades, 304 Unanswerable Argument, An, 299 Uncivil Warning, 351 Unconscious Insult, An, 317 Unconscious Postscript, An, 206 Unequal Arrangement, An, 355 Unexpected Cannonade, An, 340 Unfortunate Lover, An, 181 Union is Strength, 51 Union of Opposites, 319 Unkind, 117 Unknown Tongue, 38 Unlikely Result, An, 348 Unpoetical Reply, 120 Unreasonable, 94 Unre-hearsed Effect, An, 65 Unremitting Kindness, 100 Untaxed Luxury, An, 319 Unwelcome Agreement, 158 Up and Down, 301 Up in the World,