Good Lives, Bad Situations, Santana Dugan [chrome ebook reader .txt] 📗

Now- Wednesday 8/3/18

Jasmine is sleeping right now, I don't know how this precious baby came from me and Jordan, but I love her to death regardless. He called last night and wants to see her. My lawyer Cole says I have to let him see her, at least until the trial is over. I mean the only time he ever wants to see her is when it's close to a court date, or Cole is trying to get something done. Mom says that even if I don't want to see Jordan Jasmine needs to. I just don't see how it helps her I mean she's only 3 months old.  I put my pen down. I'm so done with this... Why does he still get to hurt me? Why am I the one that has to write down everything, and go to counseling, and go through all this,and he just gets to live his life the way he wants. I'm the one with all these freakin' responsibilities, he's never even changed a da- "Waaaaa!Waaaaaaa!" Ugh, it's only been like twenty minutes.

"Hang on baby, Mommy's comin'!" I yell as I get up. She is always screaming, Mom will never even change a diaper. I feel like I should just give up, but then I look into my Jas's eyes and I feel like nothing else matters. "Shh.. baby, Mommy's here, everything's gonna be okay." I rock her. "Shhh..'6lbs and 9oz. lookin' up at me Like I have all the answers I hope I have the ones you need I've never really done this, now I know what scared is'  Mommy loves you so much." I whisper. She falls back asleep. God, why am I crying? This is pathetic. I can't beleive I have to go back to school in the morning. I don't wanna leave my baby girl. He is gonna be there tommorow. How am I gonna face everyone, and lie. I'm supposed to tell everyone that I was suffering stomach issues, and that I had surgery. I've lied to everyone for a year and now I have to lie to their faces everyday. Ohmigod! I have to go buy some binders and stuff."Mom! Do you have my list for tommorow?" I yell through the wall.

"It's right here." She hands me the paper as she walks through the door. 5 binders, 2 folders, Pens, Pencils, College Rulled Paper, Graphing Calculator, Student Planner, Uniform. God! why don't I just buy this with all the money I don't have. "I know it's a lot, but you need all this."

"Mom, I don't even have enough money for a pen, I can't afford THIS!" I shriek. Good Lord this is gonna be at least three hundred dollars, but I know Mom can't afford that. I mean we're not broke or anything like that, but with tuition at this school, and the mortgage, and my car, plus Jasmine and the lawyers, it adds up pretty quick. "I need to borrow three hundred, I'll bring you back change and I'll pay you back I promise. I'll get a job after school at that fancy new pizza place, waitresses get 10 an hour plus tips. I'll start buying Jas's stuff too. Imma mom and I need to start acting like it."

"Oh, Bri, honey you don't have to get a job, I know you worry about it, but it's not your place. " Mom is so amazing, I don't know what I'd do without her.

"No, Mom, I really want a job, I can do it." I mean, who else's parents don't want them to get a job. I'm not a little kid anymore. Why should I have to beg to get a freakin' job. God bless America. "I'll go now, and get this stuff, do you want me to take Jasmine,or are you okay?"

"Honey,I love her, but I need some me time for a little bit. If you call Jordan, I'm sure he'll keep her while you shop." Is she serious? Does everyone think that I'm actually gonna leave her with him?

"Mom, in case you didn't realize, he will never be trusted with my baby." Maybe that was a little snappy but ya know I don't care.  How could anyone trust a guy likw that with their baby? "I'll see if Dustin can keep him for a couple of hours, or maybe he needs to go shopping too." Dustin is Jordan's younger brother, but hes a year older than me. I'm 16, Dustin is almost 18 , and Jordan is 19. Dustin and me have been friends for ever. He's sorta the reason me and Jordan got together. I can't beleive that Shay broke up with him for Isaac, I mean of all the people in this world, he's probably the last person I would break up with a 4 year relationship for. I mean no offense, but, he's a hoe. Like, I don't understand people anymore. It's always been Shay and Dustin, and me and Jordan. Now it's Shay and Isaac, Dustin, Me, Jasmine, and Jordan.  Like in the past year our "squad" has went through so much that we ain't really friends anymore. Ughh.. I'm so sick of being stressed out. I gotta get outta here.

"Bye Mom." I said as I gethered everything and jasmine and headed out the door.

Now- Wednesday 8/3/18 *Later that afternoon

"Does this look okay?" I ask Dustin. This is really pretty, at least I think it does. this mirror is really blurry and smudgy. I'm wearing a white shirt with a black jacket, skirt, socks, shoes, and a blue and black tie. 

"You look like a school girl.." Dustin winks, and I throw a shoe at him. "I bet Jass would look adorable in that though, I mean without the tie, wouldn't want her to get strangled, maybe we could use it on Jordan." God, why are all of our conversations about his freakin' brother?

"New rule. No talking about Jordan, EVER. Got it?" Dustin nods smirking. "Good. And stop smirking it weird.Like I don't get the point of a half smile, either smile or don't, forreal make up your mind. But thanks for coming with me and Jasmine today. All she does is sleep and cry. I just, I don't know." God why am I about to cry? I walk back into the dressing room to put my clothes back on, but moslty to cry.

"Bri." Dustin whispers "It's okay. I'm here, Mom's here, your mom is here, it'll all be okay. I promise. Now could you please come out of the dressing room? This sales lady is giving me a dirty look." I swear, this guy is the best friend I've ever had.

"let's go get some food." I demand as we exit the store. "I want some... Hmm.. Hibachi sounds good. I could use a good fortune right about now." He laughs at me as we walk across the street to the Chinease buffet. I swear, i could not carry Jas's bag and her this far. Dustin is a godsend.

 

###

 

Great day with Jas and Dustin today. We went shopping and got some new stuff for school. Mrs. Carter (his mom) gave Dustin money to get Jas some new clothes too. She looked so happy today. This was one of the best days I've had in a while. I just can't beleive I have to go back to school tommorow. I don't wanna leave my baby for nine hours. I couldn't do this without him. He just texted me and said that he's gonna take me to school and buy me a pizza roll and vanilla cappucino. He does this for me all the time, I swear I'm gonna do something amazing for him. I just bought him a 2005 black Camaro. I can't wait to give it to him. I'm so excited, but I guess I gotta get in bed, its almost 10:30.Gotta get up at 6:30.

 

Then 6-13-17

"Hey, come on, I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean too." Jordan whines 

Imprint

Publication Date: 06-19-2017

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This book is dedicated to my Mom, who loved me through everything, and wanted nothing less for me.