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June Tenth
Dear diary, Amy's at it again. She freaking ran into me in the hallway today and then totally pushed me out of the way. Like seriously, bitch don't get in my way. I will knock you on your ass.
That's how my diary entries always started out. Or at least something along those lines. Amy, by the way, is a total wannabe bitch who doesn't know the difference between a human being and an animal. Unless of course it was one of her little posse members. Then they get treated like royalty. But the rest of us who don't qualify under the category of gorgeous get thrown to the side as scraps. Waited to be picked up by the trash man. Hi, I'm Tamika Burkhart, and this is my story of love and loss.
It all started when I was in fourth grade. I was the new girl in school so that meant I was the lackee. The loser. Fresh meat for all the kids in my class. I always got teased even though my family was rich. I had nice clothes. I was pretty some might say. Except for one thing. I was born with a birth defect that caused me to limp and the left side of my body didn't work as well as my right. I had to go to physical therapy for it. Most of the time people didn't notice. Except for on the playground or in gym. That's when they started taunting. I really only had one friend. Tristan. Unless you knew him like I did. Then it was TT. I know it sounds wimpy but he didn't care.
All of that ended though in seventh grade. That's when the doctors told me I couldn't do anything that involved surgeries to help it because it would just make it worse. It wouldn't have been so bad except that's when Tristan moved to Colorado while I was stuck in New York. I was mad but not at him. I was mad at what I had to go through every day in school. I was mad at the teachers who made me look stupid in class. At the people who picked on me. Sometimes even at my own parents for bringing me into this world. That was usually only when I had had a rough day though. But that all changed again in tenth grade when Tristan came back. He acted like he had never left. Even though we all knew he had. And I'll tell you what all the preppies acted like he was freaking Justin Beiber. The way they glommed onto him. He hadn't changed though. He was still my good buddy. He still even let me call him TT even though he looked like the freaking hulk. That's when things started to get ugly, though too.

June Twelfth
Dear diary, oh my God! Guess what! TT came back today, I was SO happy. And he was so happy to see me. Even though my limp has gotten more noticable he just didn't care. He came right up to me picked me up and swung me around. It was the BEST feeling ever. And look on Amy's face was hysterical. Well, I'll have to tell you more later, Mom's calling me for dinner. BYE! :D
I kept reading those lines over and over. I couldn't believe it. TT was back. And he was HOT! Like not buffed out to the point where you think his shirts are gonna pop off but he had gotten about a foot taller which meant he was like six foot three now. Plus his hair had grown out and it was blonde. And Amy noticed too. Like she was drooling over him. But did he notice? Not a bit! He was the same old TT that had left a while ago. And today was my first whole day with him. I couldn't wait till I got to school.
I walked into school confidentally. Nobody, not even Amy was going to ruin this day for me. Or at least that's what I thought. I had been walking down the hallway all happy and glad. And then I looked up and low and behold what did I see? Amy and TT having a makeout session in the middle of the hallway. I was so horrified that I actually let out a little squeak. I thought it had just been in my mind but it was real because they both looked up at me. All Amy did was sneer peck Tristan on the cheek and saunter down the hallway. Tristan however, looked mildly confused. That's when he realized I had taken off down the hallway.
"Tammy! Wait up. I didn't mean anything by it. Just wait. Please."
I turned around and looked up at him. He was panting because he had been running. Or was it because that bitch had just had her tongue down his throat? I didn't know and didn't care to find out.
"Why the hell should I listen to you? I thought you were my friend. You always looked out for me. You knew how I felt about her. Why I didn't like her! And here I come into school and see you with her tongue down your throat. I thought you were different then that. I thought you were my TT."
I turned to walk away but he caught my wrist.
"I am your TT. Just not the one you knew in fourth grade. I'm different. All the girls are chasing after me. But you're not. That's why I kissed her. Because she showed interest. You didn't. I thought you weren't interested!"
By then I had tears running down my face. I looked at him with a sad expression. "You don't even know what it's like TT. I'm the girl who can't run without stumbling. I'm the one who needs help in the lunch room. I'm the girl who has to write reports just to pass PE. But Amy doesn't. She's beautiful, and perfect, and not an ugly mess like me! You don't get it. You don't want to be with something like me! You just-"
It was at that point that I felt a pressure on my mouth. I suddenly realized he was kissing me. I pulled back. Not because I didn't want him kissing me but from surprise. TT looked down at me with one of the kindest most honest expressions I had ever seen a person make. "You are beautiful. You're real beautiful. Not the fake Barbie doll kind like Amy or any of her friends. You have your own personality. You don't care what people say or do. You just pick yourself up and keep on going. You don't let it stop you. That's why I love you."
I didn't know what to say. I stood there stupidly. Suddenly something hit the back of my head. Hard. I dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. That's when I realized that one of Amy's wannabe boys had hit me with a text book. I saw Tristan run at him. That's when I heard screaming and an alarm. We were in a private school. So that meant anything beyond a yelling match we got put on lock down. Suddenly I felt something moving me. That's when I realized that another boy was moving me down the hallway. And it wasn't Tristan.
Looking toward where Tristan was I saw a guard tackle him and the boy who hit me to the ground. Suddenly I stopped moving. I looked down at my feet and saw the boy trying to open a door. I tried to yell but couldn't. They had put tape over my mouth and tied my hands and feet together. How long had I been out? At least five minutes. Maybe more.
I felt them proceed to drag me down the hallway to an empty classroom. I looked at Tristan for help. I saw him point down the hall way and the guard turn around. "Hey! Kid! Get back here or I will be forced to use my tazer." The kid that was dragging me stopped, looked at the guard and grinned. "I wouldn't be counting on that dude because I have something far more lethal and far more painful then any tazer." That's when I saw the gun. The kid, who I finally recognized as being Liam, pointed it at the guard. I looked to Tristan, then at Liam, then at the guard. Tristan, who had always been able to help me solve my problems and had looked out for me didn't know what to do. He was lost. And that's when I heard the shot.
The guard looked behind him as Tristan dropped to the ground. I screamed and that's when I felt it. Something begging me to just give in. To let the darkness take me. As much as I wanted to stay here with Tristan I slowly let go, and felt my self drift into what I hoped was going to be peace and love.

June Fifteenth
Dear diary, I am so glad my mom brought me you. I'm in the hospital with three broken ribs, a concussion, and a laceration running from my ear to the corner of my jaw. Tristan's in intensive care. They don't know if he's going to make it though. I'm praying everyday that he'll survive because he's the only person who's ever looked out for me. Well, the nurse is here. I'll let you know how things pan out.
I had been in the hospital for a couple of days. I knew that it was important for me to rest but I couldn't. The worry for Tristan was eating me up. Why did this have to happen now? Why me? No not why me? Why Tristan? He's the sweetest guy anyone could ever know and he hadn't done a thing to hurt anyone. I'm just sitting here waiting for a nurse to come in and give me my pain meds and check my ribs. I've only had a broken bone once in my life and that was a finger. I didn't know that broken ribs could hurt this bad. Sitting there I suddenly heard my door open. It was the nurse.
"Hey Tammy. How ya doin' so far?"
"Pretty good considering. Have you heard anything on Tristan yet?"
"Well, from what the doctors say, he's in pretty bad condition. That bullet hit one of his lungs and lodged in his spine. So, even if he does pull through he'll be on a respirator and in a wheel chair for the rest of his life."
I knew she was going to say that. That bullet that Liam had meant for me had instead hit Tristan. I remember it. Liam had pulled it out and at first pointed it at the guard. Then looked at me and said with a sickening grin on his face, "What do you think Tristan? Should I hit her in the stomach and make her suffer or put her out real quick with a shot to the head?"
The look on Tristan's face went from worry to pure hatred. "You lay a hand on her and I'll rip your fucking throat out. Do you understand me Liam?"
"Well, then. I guess me and your girl friend will be having some fun in Heaven now won't we? Wait who am I kidding? I'm going straight to hell." And it was with those last words that Liam had squeezed the trigger. I heard the shot but felt no pain. I looked to see Tristan falling down. He had been protecting me. Just like he swore in fourth grade that he always would.
I felt

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