Would you mind to miss me?, Alexis Greys [13 ebook reader TXT] 📗

I stood on the top of the school building.
The dark clouds didn’t allow me to see the beautiful stars, which were usually showed in the sky above me. It has rained today. I hate rain, because it has the uncomfortable feature of bringing me down. Every day is like a fight with me.
There is the good Eve, who still believes that the world isn’t as messed up as it always seems and ignores every little thing that could make her suffer.
And there is an Eve, who wants to destroy everything. She wants to drown in madness, because she believes, that it would solve something….anything, just to change one little thing.

Today was like every other day in my life. I think I could describe the process with a few words: Lonely, left alone, misunderstood, ignored and failed to change.

The lights of the streets beneath me hypnotised my eyes, so beautiful and at the same time so fake. As if the wind agreed with my thinking, it blew my black hair behind.
I bet every one is just thinking about themselves, humans are selfish. Today I saw a report on television. Four drunken people have beaten an innocent school boy up and that’s in the middle of the shopping area! The people around the battlefield didn’t help. The fear to be beaten was stronger than the impulse to help someone who is in danger. The boy is lying now with two broken ribs unconsciously in a hospital. The funny thing about the report was that the newscaster has suddenly dropped the topic and discovered an unstoppable desire of talking about the new romance between Ashton Kutcher and someone, whose name I’ve already forgotten. The lights from the cars seemed to get weaker. Of course, it’s already past midnight. The bigger part of the people here in town is already sleeping at home. And the other part is trying to get after the harsh workday home to its family.

Home and family are sure strange words. Somehow I can’t connect them with each other. A home is a place, where you live in and a family is a bunch of people with whom you’re blood related with.
People with whom you’re blood related with, I think this is the best description for my *coughed* family *coughed*. My father is the owner of an electric industry and my mother is a famous designer. Five years ago I have called them mum and dad. I used to play with my dad baseball every Saturday. After the play, we would watch with mum a movie. It’s unbelievable how fast our family bond was destroyed.

A phone call from an old friend of my father and my whole world fell apart. With every more dollar my parents earned, they began to have a little less time for me. All I have from the carefree time is my silver flower necklace, which I was given by my parents on my eighth birthday. The darkness in front of me is only lighted by a single street light. It looked pitiful to me. The street light should know that it don’t stand a chance against the rising darkness around it. It should give up on fighting.

Abruptly a flash back started in my head. A little girl has drawn a picture of her parents and wants to show it to them. But she can’t find them in the big villa. She ran through the polished marble floor. Every passageway seemed to her like an exact copy of the passageways before. Suddenly she heard the sound of an engine. She ran to the big window at the end of the passageway, just to see how a silver limousine is driving away. The girl crumpled up the picture in her hand with tears running down her cheeks. The flash back increased and played more memories. A girl, alone on her middle school ceremony, alone on the parents-children-day in school, alone always alone and forgotten. The parents were always too busy to notice her. I opened my eyes.
This emptiness was just like a shadow. Loneliness. It followed me everywhere and it hurt like hell. Depressing thoughts kept me company. My favourite undertaker was the question:

For what purpose was I created?

As I came to middle school I tried to have friends, but it didn’t work. Nobody could understand me, they didn’t even try to understand. I guess that’s how a human being is constructed. If you’re different you don’t have the right to belong among others. But I know that I belong to this place, on the roof of the school. I discovered it while I was searching for a quiet place. This place is always helping me to make the right decisions and to think about my next steps. I little step forward and I would escape this chaos which may also be called my life. Oh, by the way I hope nobody noticed my sneak out of the villa. The alarm of my cell phone ripped me of my thoughts. Is it already 7am in the morning? I looked up in the sky. Whoa, so beautiful. I can see how the colours blend into each other, the dark blue of the night mixed with the yellow and orange of the sunrise.

I still don’t know for what purpose I am living for, but I’m going to find it out. I will leave the villa today. My parents will get a letter with my necklace on it. Maybe I’m able to change myself. After my return I will change my family situation. I smile spread upon my face.

I think I made the right decision and I hope they will mind to miss me.

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Publication Date: 11-24-2012

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