The gospel of Itchy Wiggle Christ, Gregory-John McCormick, Ralf Dellhofen [black books to read .TXT] 📗

living in stuttgart was far outside the city and i could not get there without a ride. this girl showed up at the same time that i walked out of the toilet after fucking a girl that had previously lived in another apartment with. that girl was a young 18 year old who claimed to be a lesbian but whom i ended up in bed with along with her girlfriend many times. so as i met the girl who was to be my wife and had this 18 year old coming out with me from the toilet, i was a bit flustered, but i was used to it.

 

besides, the future-wife had some guy with her, some woman-beating creep from some faggot band that was supposed to be her boyfriend - this guy, one axle, had no idea that i had been fucking my future-wife for months. so all of us sat outside at this bar, and it was very strained. future-wife could tell i had feelings for the 18 year old, and the 18 year old could tell i had feelings for future-wife. while all this subtle mind fucking was going on, another girl that i had been currently fucking walked by the café-bar, saw me and the girls, waved at me and said she would see me tomorrow at "our" bar, which was a different place we would meet before we went on our suck-and-fuck spree. i then got dirty looks from both girls i was with. and this destroyed my plan to bring together the 18 year old with the other bar-girl at the next suck-and-fuck, which was possible since they both enjoyed other women as well as my manly attentions. it was not a big loss, as i did not need to be with both at the same time, altho i remained an option since the 18 year old was not with her girlfriend any longer. i was kissed deeply by the 18 year old before she left, pissing off future-wife. i was dropped at my house without much more said. i was alone and home with a case of cheap white wine. i called up a girl i knew who might come over for a drink.

 

strange strange day. i had something really unusual happen this morning, i awoke and started having feelings like i was on acid. a sense of euphoria and heightened perception. i did not have the usual headache, but i was also filled with a great need to write crazy shit, so maybe an apology is in order? - i haven´t a clue. i don´t know what i wrote, i don´t know why i was feeling that way. around 11:00 i went back to sleep and dreamed really fucked-up shit. then i woke up feeling groggy and tired. eventually the headaches came. tra-la-la, the headaches came. and are with me now. sweet blessing is the night for this sorry wretch, for soon sleep will be upon me, and all the filthy faggots which are only schwarze retards will be gone from my vision. i will see only my dreams and desires and freedom. today on my weekly phone call with my dad, he told me that soon this will all be over with and i can look back on this time as only a bad memory. i sincerely hope he is right, but i am not sure he is totally right. i believe it will be all over for me soon. but i doubt where i am going to go that i will have any memory of this living hell. not in the sense that humans have memories, in any case. i will be pure spirit and in no need to ever remember the torture i endured in the last years of my life. but, my dad is rarely wrong, and i trust him, and i want to believe him, so i will keep to his words and hope that i will be out soon. to be out, to be free! what it means to me - countless things. but mostly it will mean: love. i will see my love. i will see my friends, i will see my germany, my ireland, my europe. i will taste whiskey, irish whiskey, and fine german beer, fine euro-cheese. i will smoke russian cigarettes and chew, swallow, and gag on magic mushrooms. i will lay naked with my girl for days on end. i will LIVE again, and not die slowly as i do now. so far it is only a dream, yes, but such a dream.

 

what is this mess? what is that stench? buffy, jodie, what´s that stench? who´s that doll with mr. french? missus beasley, so nice and sleazy. goodbye is so difficult. i keep saying goodbye to myself slowly, every day, in quiet moments. i am the walking dead, the monster of frankenstein, i am the creation, doctor f. is my own sick ego. i reached too far into the flames and my soul has been burned. sweet melodies come to me in the quiet times, and thoughts of what it would be like to be with a girl. goodnight, all.

 

ah, 06:00 in the morning, barbra streisand being chased around by a dark german shepherd doggy. at one time i would have been enamoured by miss streisand - i thought once she was quite beautiful, but now i am more interested in the doggy, haha. only ´cause i really hope to have a dog just like the one in this stupid movie one day. and for girls and what attracts me, streisand is not quite it. gothic or punk girls with dark hair, intelligent, uninhibited, faithful, moral. these things i find attractive. what i find unattractive in girls - well, it varies, because each person can be ugly in their own right, physically or esoterically. but overall i cannot stand fat girls of any sort. obesity is disgusting to me. stupidity is also a bad thing with me, especially when it comes to social issues - a girl who does something stupid because other people do it or for no reason other than she does not think of the reason - like wearing certain clothes or listening to stupid music or acting a certain way, this i cannot tolerate. but, most gothic or punk girls think for themselves, so i find this attractive. same goes for irish girls in general, but they generally hate me - i drink like a fish, i am irreverent as all hell towards the catholic church, my world does no revolve around what a woman thinks of me. but occasionally irish girls are not so strong-headed. not often, tho. i´ve been with many women, yes, and every type. i don´t know if i find one race of girl more attractive than another - other than my obvious attraction to german girls - or a preference if you will. girls from india are intriguing to me also. it has been so long since i have talked to a girl. i used to get letters from the one i love every week or more - but she does not write very much at all anymore, so i have lost contact with females pretty much alltogether. all i have now are memories and fantasies, and watching women on TV, which i find very frustrating to say the least. not only because of my past and the extremely ironic way that i went from having more sex and girls than i could handle to having nothing at all. but also because i love women, i adore them, i want to be with them, and more than anything with my "liebe" - so to be apart from women is probably the worst part about being where i am - it is the torturous aspect that drives me closer and closer to wanting to end it all. i don´t hope for freedom any longer, only for a quick and relatively painless death. good morning.

 

you are slaves, not substitute life forms. nothing to report, captain kirk, there´s nothing even out there any more. i can do whatever i want without credit. liberators, nobody made it. you like it, ensign fuck-a-lot? there are pleasures awaiting in the holo-suite which any female klingon would be happy as a clam to engage in. the bene gesserit sisterhood does not condone lesbianism, but it turns it´s head. dirty dirty dirty minds, failing to see the light of salvation thru procreation. the church wants more mind-numb christians to feed the coffers, to be sure that the pope gets to eat his big macs every night in his golden silk underpants. it is a breeding plan analogous to what hitler planned. why has no one figured it out? the church bans all forms of birth control. a woman has an unwanted baby and it goes into a church-sanctioned orphanage. grows up to be a boy-touching priest. at least the mormons don´t hide the fact that they instituted a breeding policy. i don´t know what this place used to be, but it looks now as if people have been using this place as a public toilet, just like that nun´s cunt.

 

where did the initial burial take place, dr. frankenstein? um, i´m not quite sure, i was drunk on absinth at the time. but you did unearth the corpse of the young and pretty nun, correct? yes, yes i did, i had to make myself a wife. but why the nun? don´t you have any reverence for a holy woman, a bride of jesus? well. not really, you see, i don´t buy into that stupid shit, besides, she was no bride of jesus, she was getting other nun´s fingers shoved up her pussy since she came to the convent at age 7. oh my god! you monster! such blasphemy!. blasphemy my ass, she wanted it as much as the mother superior did, so at least i know she was untainted by any other man, and the corpse is that of a sexual creature. my nun corpse has made a most excellent wife for me and she is a most excellent fuck. oh, i cannot hear this any longer! i must report you to the ingolstadt authorities! i must report you to my mother superior! my order of nuns will not stand for this blatant slap in the face of the church of rome! tut, tut, tut, young sister, why don´t you see for yourself my creation. behold, the bride of frankenstein! but, doctor, she is naked, and she is quite beautiful. naturally sister, she is the creation of my genius! please, allow yourself to sample my bride. but, doctor, i never, well, um, maybe this once. oh! oh! ooooh! - and the good doctor looked on as the investigating nun fucked his bride. it looked favorable that he would soon have two brides.

 

allah be praised! my work is done! i have finished the latest juggernaut i´ve been toiling over. lo, there do my people call to me and bid me take my place next to them in the halls of valhalla, where the brave shall live forever. such a rush comes over me when i finish a painting, this one: "blumen für dich, meine liebe" was quite a bitch. so my work is done and i will send it and my previous 11 other paintings to captain ralf in germany. ah, to think that my work rests in the vaterland is reward enough, they are in a better place than i am. but ralf must sell the paintings to help get me out of here? but i am wholly pleased that they go to my germany.

 

so it is nighttime, i will sleep the sleep of a man who worked hard and well. milla is on TV again, "5th element", hmm. too beautiful. i watched "red corner" tonight - bai ling is also incredibly beautiful. i see chinese movies and people and i know i have a connection from a past life. i don´t