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world. He had plenty of time to think about his new identity and the options available to him. He took the proceeds from the sale of the boat and went into business in one of the Central American countries. He's done quite well there. In fact, he's engaged to the only daughter of one of the Catorce." ("Catorce" means "fourteen" in Spanish and in Central America refers to the fourteen families that are rumored to own and operate El Salvador.--Ed.)

"I imagine he'd be under pretty close scrutiny there," I said. "Those people are very likely to investigate any gringo who's going to marry into their family."

Capa gave a broad grin. "Investigate they did, though he's not supposed to know it. They found out the skipper was Catholic, had been a widow for ten years, and had been a respectable, successful businessman who was well thought of by all who knew him in his home town."

After he finished Paul's story, Capa quizzed me about the San Francisco Bay Area. He said he'd read a lot about it and hoped to visit there in the not-too-distant future.

I was in Sausalito a few months later photographing a houseboat story for Rudder magazine when I heard someone calling my name. I turned to see Capa, smiling broadly, with a very attractive young woman hanging on his arm. We repaired to The Bar With No Name for a few bottles of Anchor Steam Beer.

It turned out that Capa was honeymooning with his new Central American bride. She was a charming young lady with all the outward marks of old money and expensive schooling. I'd guess her age to be about twenty to twenty-five years, about twenty years younger than her new husband.

As we were making our farewells on the sidewalk in front of the bar, I couldn't resist a mild parting shot. "Looks to me as if your friend Paul you told me about on the bus is doing a lot better nowadays than he was back in the Bible Belt."

Capa's teeth flashed in his sun-browned face and he half-bowed, his young lady waved, and they were gone.

PLANNING TO DISAPPEAR

Capa's story of his friend "Paul" is an example of the "unplanned" disappearance. Paul had several things going for him. First, he had spent years studying boats, sailing and the geography of the places he wanted to visit. When he took off, he had the skills and knowledge to successfully travel by water. Second, he was lucky enough to fall into a new identity. And third, the time he spent at sea allowed him to grow into his new identity without having to immediately find a job or a place to live.

Most disappearances start out the same way as Paul's did. People dream of more exotic lifestyles and collect books, magazines, maps, even equipment, but they rarely put their knowledge and tools to use by practicing hiking, boating, photography, or whatever. And they never even seriously consider discarding their identity, or contemplate the difficulties they would face building a new one.

Unlike Paul, however, when that fateful day of the lost promotion or ugly family squabble hits, these dreamers don't just take off on a boat and leave their troubles behind. Once they realize they can no longer live the way they have been, their adventurous dreams turn into hardcore planning. They start to assemble fake ID. They research the mechanics of identity change. They study the bureaucratic requirements of city, state and federal governments, of foreign nations and employers. They prepare their disappearance.

A funny thing happens when these dreamers suddenly become planners. They have more or less made the decision to leave and it is like a great weight is lifted from their shoulders. Their work and family life become more bearable. Things seem to be improving for them. But it is only the calm before the storm. One day they wake up and decide that this is going to be the last day, and they walk out the front door into a whole new life they've prepared.

The comparison between suicide and identity change is an interesting one. In both cases the person feels driven to the act as a solution to his problems. He is depressed and irritable until he seizes on the "final solution," and then his burdens seem lighter and his mood picks up. This could account for how surprised people are when someone commits suicide. How often have you heard the relatives of a suicide victim tell a reporter, "I can't understand why John would want to kill himself. We might have understood it better a few months ago when he was so upset about his life, but he has been so happy lately. It doesn't make sense."

Disappearing is a form of suicide. It is a revocable kind of death where one destroys his old life but not his chance to start a new one. If the new life doesn't work out as planned he can step back into his old one, though it probably won't be the same. If he's gone very long, he may never be able to regain his family or his job. That's why most disappearees who are gone more than a few weeks never return unless they're fugitives who are hunted down and brought back by the law.

It is fairly common for people who disappear to want to make their escape look like a suicide. They could probably just as easily walk out the door into a new identity, but for some reason they want people to think they have died. Perhaps they believe it will keep people from searching for them, or that it will be easier for their families to cope with death than with disappearance. Then again, it may be a scam to collect on life insurance. Dr. Richard Seiden of the University of California, an internationally known authority on suicide, has coined a new word for such fake deaths: Pseudocide.

Pseudocide

Dr. Seiden investigated 100 cases of apparent suicide from the Golden Gate Bridge in

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