Embracing Today, a firefighter romance: (The Trading Yesterday Series, #3), Kahlen Aymes [essential reading txt] 📗

I nodded, hugging them both close, each in one of my arms. “Yes. How can I be anything but fine with hugs from the two of you?”

“Look! I made you a s’more!” Dylan said, releasing me and proudly producing a paper plate with the confection in the middle of it. “I roasted the marshmallow just right! I didn’t even burn it.”

“That’s great! Thank you! What would I do without the two of you?” The enthusiasm I injected into my tone was meant to ease their concern as I took the plate from Dylan and touched the top of his head, before glancing in Ben’s direction.

His expression was worried, but he stood up and took the plate from me, then slid one arm around me and led me back to our log. “Come on, let’s enjoy the rest of the evening.”

When we sat down on the log once more, Ben handed me the plate, but kept an arm around me, pulling me close so that our hips and thighs were touching.

We shared my dessert while Ben and Jensen asked Chase about the game he’d won earlier in the day against Peru. I was comforted by the camaraderie the three of them had, though it wasn’t long before Remi and Dylan were pressing us about singing cowboy songs. Though Ben tried to be engaged, he was quiet and preoccupied, continually watching the skyline to the west.

Teagan took the opportunity to take young Jace into the house before the singing started.

“Come on kids, let’s all go in and get our PJ’s on,” Missy said, rounding up Remi and Dylan to herd them into the house behind Teagan, who was carrying the sleepy toddler.

I began picking up the paper plates and tossed the recycling into the plastic bag I’d brought outside, then threw the paper products into the fire. I sat down to one side of the men to watch it burn. I stared at it so hard it blurred.

Ben was talking to Chase and Jensen, but his phone began to ring. My heart seized. It wasn’t a text, so I knew in my gut they were calling him in. He stood up and walked a few feet away and turned his back to the rest of us.

Chase and Jensen were both watching and murmuring quiet words to each other.

I was straining to hear what Ben was saying into the phone but all I could get was a muffled; “Yeah, okay. Got it. I’ll head in.”

My heart fell to my stomach and tears stung the back of eyes. I jumped up and rushed to him just as he was shoving his phone back into the back pocket of his jeans.

His hands came up to slide down my arms and his blue eyes begged for my understanding. He was calm, almost eerily so. “I have to go. The fire is getting close to Alta and they’ve evacuated the town. Davis’s team has lost contact, Marin.”

I sucked in a deep breath as tears filled my eyes and I shook my head. “Please don’t go. You know the bad dreams I’ve been having? I relive the fire when Carter died, but then he morphs into you. Oh, God, I couldn’t survive if you died, Ben! It was you.” My chest began to heave in quiet sobs. “Please, don’t go.”

My hands both lifted to clutch around his forearms as he was holding my upper arms, but he pulled me hard against his chest, and pressed his lips to my temple. I only cried harder.

“I am not Carter, Marin. I swear, I’ll come back. Davis is my best friend and he’s lost in there with several others. You met them at the bar. One of the water tankers is coming into base to refill, and I’m going out with it to meet up with my crew. I gotta go.”

He pushed me back to look into my face. I shook my head, his image blurring from the tears in my eyes.

Ben bent to place a long, deep kiss on my mouth. “I love you. I’m coming back to you. I promise.”

“Ben, don’t go!” I shook my head again as he backed away. I was desperate to stop him. “I can’t take this my entire life. I can’t watch you go into fire after fire!”

He stopped, his face getting harder. “I’m happy that you’re thinking about us long-term, Marin, but this is what I do. You knew that from day one. If you can’t accept it, then I guess you can’t, and it means that you don’t trust me. You have to let go of the past, and stop being afraid of something that hasn’t happened!” Ben was adamant.

I fell to my knees crying, uncaring that the two other men were looking on helplessly, concern clearly etched on both of their faces. “You can’t control everything! You don’t know what could happen, but you put yourself at risk every time you walk into an inferno.”

“You’re right, I don’t know what might happen, but neither do you! I can’t sit here and do nothing, Marin!” Ben glanced at the Jensen and Chase. “My boys are in there and what kind of man would I be if I didn’t do what I could to find them?”

“Ben, please!” I begged again.

He stood tall and defiant in front of me. He was proud and strong. I understood why he felt he needed to go, but my heart was exploding inside my chest and I couldn’t breathe.

“I understand that my job is dangerous. I get it, but I’ve been doing it for eight years. I’m damn good at it, and I don’t take unnecessary risks. You can’t put me in a cage. This is who I am. If you want to throw away everything we’re building, it sucks, but I can’t stop you. Take care of her,” he said, nodding at Jensen and Chase.

Chase nodded. “We will man. You go. I’d come