Embracing Today, a firefighter romance: (The Trading Yesterday Series, #3), Kahlen Aymes [essential reading txt] 📗

“Sorry, brother,” Ben shook his head. “Years of training and all.”

“I know. I just wish I could do something.”

“You can,” Ben said, nodding in my direction. His eyes were pained as he looked at me.

Soon Jensen’s arms were around me, lifting me up as I cried. He pressed me into his chest and held the back of my head. “Ben will come back. Marin. We just have to pray and have faith in him.”

It all felt surreal. I hoped this was just another of my nightmares, but Jensen’s strong arms around me belied that wish. I heard Ben’s truck roar to life and lumber down the lane as I melted into a torrent of tears.

MARIN

It had been twenty-four hours since Ben had gone to help fight the wildfire. Somehow, I’d managed to stop the tears around the little ones, but only barely. I was a basket case.

Chase and Jensen were camping out with Remi and Dylan tonight because the struggle to put up a good front was wearing thin. I wasn’t strong enough to keep it up, and so decided to try to sleep in my room, away from the others.

Teagan had put Jace down in the bedroom they shared, but she and Missy were both sitting with me in the living room. I felt awful. Missy had shared some wonderful news last night and then I had a meltdown afterward, completely overshadowing it. She should have spent the night in the tent with Jensen and doing whatever a couple who just found out they were going to be parents do, but she and Teagan never left my side. Even still.

I sucked in a deep breath and wrapped my hands around the white ceramic mug of hot chamomile tea that Teagan had made for me. She’d brought it with her, and I had to admit, it did have a relaxing effect on me.

We were all sitting in the living room and had switched on the television so we could watch the ten o’clock local news.

The fire was still the headline story, and the aerial pictures showed the raging flames stretching north to south on the western range and licking its way around the small town of Alta, though they managed to keep it from the town. There were airplanes dumping loads of fire retardant in front of the flame wall.

I felt sick. I had my entire life living near mountains and Yellowstone. There had been fires throughout the years and I always felt bad for the animals that lost their lives… and firefighters; there were often firefighters who died. I closed my eyes as the female anchor droned on and on with the details.

Missy moved to sit on the couch next to me. I was curled up in the corner, with my legs beneath me. Her hand reached out to lay a hand on my knee. “Ben’s going to be okay. We have to be positive, Marin. It seems more under control, now.”

I realized she was only trying to comfort me, but I was terrified. “Aren’t you afraid? It’s been an entire day.”

“Sure, but he loves what he does. I’ve always known it was risky, but it’s his choice. He’s well trained and he’s strong as an ox. He’s taken fire technology training. He knows how fires react to certain situations. He’s not walking in blind.”

I took another sip of the tea. The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. “Logically, I know all of that, but I’m still so scared.”

Teagan was sitting in the chair to my left, turned toward the two of us on the sofa. “These men we chose to love are complicated, Marin. Chase would have gone with Ben, and so would Jensen, if they were allowed. It’s their nature to protect, and isn’t that what we love about them?” Her voice was gentle and kind. “I know that Chase’s job isn’t dangerous like Ben’s, but he’s in the air flying thousands of miles, almost every week, all season. He’s flying more than he’s on the ground, and I worry all the time, but he wouldn’t be Chase if he couldn’t play the game, and Ben wouldn’t be Ben without fighting fires.”

Tears stung at the back of my eyes and I nodded. “I know. I love that he’s brave and always trying to help people, I’m just afraid because Carter died in a fire right in front of me. I hated him at the end, but it was so horrible to watch… and hear.” My voice cracked and I fisted the hand not holding my mug and brought it to my mouth.

Missy’s hand tightened on my leg. “I’m so sorry, Marin. Ben told me Carter was careless and he’d been drinking. Ben would never be that reckless.”

Missy was trying to be reassuring, and I knew she was right. I trusted Ben to be careful, but fires were unpredictable.

“I have this recurring nightmare where I relive the fire and Carter’s face as he’s screaming, changes into Ben’s.” My words trembled as they dropped from my lips. “I’ve seen it in my mind several times. Ben and I haven’t known each other very long, but if something happened to him, I don’t think I’d survive. I wouldn’t want to.”

Gemmy jumped up on the couch between us, laid her little head on my lap, and then licked at my hand. Missy smiled gently and began to stroke the puppy down her back. “This little one knows you’re sad.”

“She’s intuitive, but I don’t want her to feel sad, too.” I put down the tea and gathered Gem onto my lap. The warmth of her against me was comforting. “She loves Ben. She runs after him everywhere he goes.”

“He adores her,” Missy nodded.

Teagan’s eyes were glossy with tears and she quickly dashed a tear from one of her eyes.

The television anchor was reporting that there was a crew missing and they had sent in a rescue team of firefighters and