The Bachelor Bargain (Secrets, Scandals, and Spies), Michaels, Maddison [love story novels in english .txt] 📗

his heart against me. But what does it matter in any event? He and I can never be. We both know that.” Taking in a deep breath, she glanced down at her father’s fingers still intertwined with her own. “Are you disappointed in me?”

She couldn’t bear to look at him and see the fact mirrored in his eyes. For how could he not be disappointed in her? She had given her heart to a man her father could never approve of or accept.

“No, Livie, I am not disappointed in you.” He placed his fingers under her chin and raised her head until her eyes met his, and she saw the moisture welling in his eyes, mirroring her own. “What I am is heartbroken for you. For when you are hurting, so am I.” His voice broke slightly.

“I’ve made such a mess of things, haven’t I?” Her shoulders sagged and a familiar feeling of heaviness settled in her heart as she smiled sadly.

“You’ve made a mess of things only if you don’t fix them.”

“That is what I am trying to do, Father,” she said. “I am trying to forget him and move on with my life. Even if a part of me knows I will never be able to fully do so.”

“That is not what I mean, Livie.” He abruptly stood and walked to the other window. For a moment he stood looking out over the gardens before he turned back to face her. “To love another is a gift. And when you find love, you must hold onto it dearly for as long as you can, no matter the consequences. For it can be taken away from you in an instant.”

“Like Mother was taken from you,” Livie whispered. “Because of me.”

“No.” He emphatically shook his head, striding back to where she sat and crouched in front of her. “It was not your fault, as much as I know you blame yourself. It was your mother’s time, and as devastated by her death as I was, and still am, I know she is waiting for me to join her, when it is my time. What I also know is that she would have wanted you to be happy. To experience the sort of love she and I shared.

“And that is what I also want for you, Livie. I want you to know how it feels to truly love another and be loved in return. I’d quite despaired that you ever would. You’ve locked your heart closed for so long, pushing men away, blaming your limp when in fact it’s been your indifference to them all that has kept suitors away. But I want you to be happy, and if Colver is the one you have given your heart to, then so be it.”

“But Father, you know Society would never accept such a match.” Confusion filled her. How could her father, of all people, be advocating in Sebastian’s favor? “You are a duke, and I’m your daughter. How can I marry someone of Sebastian’s station? If I did, I would never see you or my brothers again. I would never see my friends again. It would break my heart.”

“Why on earth would you never see us again?” He appeared taken aback.

“Because Society would shun me,” Livie replied. “You couldn’t be seen in my presence or you would be shunned, too.”

“That is not necessarily the case.”

“It would be. You know his past and reputation as well as I do,” Livie declared. “He is feared and whispered about everywhere. If I were to put my happiness first and be with him, I would be ruined. And if scandal attaches to me, it attaches to you all. You know that. It is not so simple to follow your heart. I cannot be so selfish as to put my own wants and needs before my family.”

“Putting your own happiness first is not selfish.” He picked up her hands. “Livie, you were born to love others and to be a mother. To deny yourself that happiness would be foolishness itself. I would never forgive myself if I let you do that.”

“But how can I give you all up?” she cried. “I love you. You are my family.”

“You do not have to give us up.” He was emphatic. “Do you think any of your brothers or myself would care if Society whispers and gossips about us? As you said, I am a duke; none of them would dare cut me directly, or your brothers for that matter.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. And they wouldn’t dare to cut you, either, even if you did marry the Bastard of Baker Street. I wouldn’t let them. And I know for a fact, Colver wouldn’t let them, either.”

“As powerful as Sebastian may be, even he can’t stop Society from gossiping and shunning me,” Livie replied.

“My dear, Sebastian Colver has spent years building an empire, where he can do just that. Most in Society all either owe him money or desperately want to be on his good side to go into business with him. None would dare offend him, for fear he would cash in their markers or blacklist them from lucrative deals. Society may be mean and malevolent at the best of times, but above all they are self-centered and put their interests first. They wouldn’t dare incur our wrath by shunning you, at least not to your face.”

A slow spark of hope bloomed in her chest. “Do you really think that would be the case?”

“I do,” he confirmed. “Don’t misunderstand me, though, they will gossip greatly behind all our backs, and you may find yourself excluded from some events. But they will not cut you directly, especially if Demelza also puts her support behind your union.”

Livie sighed. “I doubt she will do so. Not when she was the one to point out the problems, having herself loved an unsuitable man a long time ago.”

“Nonsense. She loves you, too, Livie, and wants to see you happy.” He raised a brow. “Who do