A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Mark Twain [microsoft ebook reader .TXT] 📗

result⁠—I see that. War, and the knights of the realm divided into a king’s party and a Sir Launcelot’s party.”

“Yes⁠—that was the way of it. The king sent the queen to the stake, proposing to purify her with fire. Launcelot and his knights rescued her, and in doing it slew certain good old friends of yours and mine⁠—in fact, some of the best we ever had; to wit, Sir Belias le Orgulous, Sir Segwarides, Sir Griflet le Fils de Dieu, Sir Brandiles, Sir Aglovale⁠—”

“Oh, you tear out my heartstrings.”

“⁠—wait, I’m not done yet⁠—Sir Tor, Sir Gauter, Sir Gillimer⁠—”

“The very best man in my subordinate nine. What a handy right-fielder he was!”

“⁠—Sir Reynold’s three brothers, Sir Damus, Sir Priamus, Sir Kay the Stranger⁠—”

“My peerless shortstop! I’ve seen him catch a daisy-cutter in his teeth. Come, I can’t stand this!”

“⁠—Sir Driant, Sir Lambegus, Sir Herminde, Sir Pertilope, Sir Perimones, and⁠—whom do you think?”

“Rush! Go on.”

“Sir Gaheris, and Sir Gareth⁠—both!”

“Oh, incredible! Their love for Launcelot was indestructible.”

“Well, it was an accident. They were simply onlookers; they were unarmed, and were merely there to witness the queen’s punishment. Sir Launcelot smote down whoever came in the way of his blind fury, and he killed these without noticing who they were. Here is an instantaneous photograph one of our boys got of the battle; it’s for sale on every newsstand. There⁠—the figures nearest the queen are Sir Launcelot with his sword up, and Sir Gareth gasping his latest breath. You can catch the agony in the queen’s face through the curling smoke. It’s a rattling battle-picture.”

“Indeed, it is. We must take good care of it; its historical value is incalculable. Go on.”

“Well, the rest of the tale is just war, pure and simple. Launcelot retreated to his town and castle of Joyous Gard, and gathered there a great following of knights. The king, with a great host, went there, and there was desperate fighting during several days, and, as a result, all the plain around was paved with corpses and cast-iron. Then the Church patched up a peace between Arthur and Launcelot and the queen and everybody⁠—everybody but Sir Gawaine. He was bitter about the slaying of his brothers, Gareth and Gaheris, and would not be appeased. He notified Launcelot to get him thence, and make swift preparation, and look to be soon attacked. So Launcelot sailed to his Duchy of Guienne with his following, and Gawaine soon followed with an army, and he beguiled Arthur to go with him. Arthur left the kingdom in Sir Mordred’s hands until you should return⁠—”

“Ah⁠—a king’s customary wisdom!”

“Yes. Sir Mordred set himself at once to work to make his kingship permanent. He was going to marry Guenever, as a first move; but she fled and shut herself up in the Tower of London. Mordred attacked; the Bishop of Canterbury dropped down on him with the Interdict. The king returned; Mordred fought him at Dover, at Canterbury, and again at Barham Down. Then there was talk of peace and a composition. Terms, Mordred to have Cornwall and Kent during Arthur’s life, and the whole kingdom afterward.”

“Well, upon my word! My dream of a republic to be a dream, and so remain.”

“Yes. The two armies lay near Salisbury. Gawaine⁠—Gawaine’s head is at Dover Castle, he fell in the fight there⁠—Gawaine appeared to Arthur in a dream, at least his ghost did, and warned him to refrain from conflict for a month, let the delay cost what it might. But battle was precipitated by an accident. Arthur had given order that if a sword was raised during the consultation over the proposed treaty with Mordred, sound the trumpet and fall on! for he had no confidence in Mordred. Mordred had given a similar order to his people. Well, by and by an adder bit a knight’s heel; the knight forgot all about the order, and made a slash at the adder with his sword. Inside of half a minute those two prodigious hosts came together with a crash! They butchered away all day. Then the king⁠—however, we have started something fresh since you left⁠—our paper has.”

“No? What is that?”

“War correspondence!”

“Why, that’s good.”

“Yes, the paper was booming right along, for the Interdict made no impression, got no grip, while the war lasted. I had war correspondents with both armies. I will finish that battle by reading you what one of the boys says:

“ ‘Then the king looked about him, and then was he ware of all his host and of all his good knights were left no more on live but two knights, that was Sir Lucan de Butlere, and his brother Sir Bedivere: and they were full sore wounded. Jesu mercy, said the king, where are all my noble knights becomen? Alas that ever I should see this doleful day. For now, said Arthur, I am come to mine end. But would to God that I wist where were that traitor Sir Mordred, that hath caused all this mischief. Then was King Arthur ware where Sir Mordred leaned upon his sword among a great heap of dead men. Now give me my spear, said Arthur unto Sir Lucan, for yonder I have espied the traitor that all this woe hath wrought. Sir, let him be, said Sir Lucan, for he is unhappy; and if ye pass this unhappy day, ye shall be right well revenged upon him. Good lord, remember ye of your night’s dream, and what the spirit of Sir Gawaine told you this night, yet God of his great goodness hath preserved you hitherto. Therefore, for God’s sake, my lord, leave off by this. For blessed be God ye have won the field: for here we be three on live, and with Sir Mordred is none on live. And if ye leave off now, this wicked day of destiny is past. Tide me death, betide me life, saith the king, now I see him yonder alone, he shall never escape mine hands, for at a better avail shall I never