Much Ado About Nothing, William Shakespeare [e book reader free TXT] 📗

the fool, trow? Margaret Nothing I; but God send everyone their heart’s desire! Hero These gloves the Count sent me; they are an excellent perfume. Beatrice I am stuffed, cousin; I cannot smell. Margaret A maid, and stuffed! there’s goodly catching of cold. Beatrice O, God help me! God help me! how long have you professed apprehension? Margaret Ever since you left it. Doth not my wit become me rarely? Beatrice It is not seen enough, you should wear it in your cap. By my troth, I am sick. Margaret Get you some of this distilled Carduus Benedictus, and lay it to your heart: it is the only thing for a qualm. Hero There thou prickest her with a thistle. Beatrice Benedictus! why Benedictus? you have some moral in this Benedictus. Margaret Moral! no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant, plain holy thistle. You may think perchance that I think you are in love: nay, by’r Lady, I am not such a fool to think what I list, nor I list not to think what I can, nor indeed I cannot think, if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love or that you will be in love or that you can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and now is he become a man: he swore he would never marry, and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats his meat without grudging: and how you may be converted I know not, but methinks you look with your eyes as other women do. Beatrice What pace is this that thy tongue keeps? Margaret Not a false gallop. Re-enter Ursula. Ursula Madam, withdraw: the prince, the count, Signior Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants of the town, are come to fetch you to church. Hero Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula. Exeunt. Scene V

Another room in Leonato’s house.

Enter Leonato, with Dogberry and Verges. Leonato What would you with me, honest neighbour? Dogberry Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you that decerns you nearly. Leonato Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me. Dogberry Marry, this it is, sir. Verges Yes, in truth it is, sir. Leonato What is it, my good friends? Dogberry Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows. Verges Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man living that is an old man and no honester than I. Dogberry Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges. Leonato Neighbours, you are tedious. Dogberry It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor duke’s officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship. Leonato All thy tediousness on me, ah? Dogberry Yea, an ’twere a thousand pound more than ’tis; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship as of any man in the city; and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it. Verges And so am I. Leonato I would fain know what you have to say. Verges Marry, sir, our watch tonight, excepting your worship’s presence, ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina. Dogberry A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they say, when the age is in, the wit is out: God help us! it is a world to see. Well said, i’ faith, neighbour Verges: well, God’s a good man; an two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i’ faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is to be worshipped; all men are not alike; alas, good neighbour! Leonato Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you. Dogberry Gifts that God gives. Leonato I must leave you. Dogberry One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship. Leonato Take their examination yourself and bring it me: I am now in great haste, as may appear unto you. Dogberry It shall be suffigance. Leonato Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well. Enter a Messenger. Messenger My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband. Leonato I’ll wait upon them: I am ready. Exeunt Leonato and Messenger. Dogberry Go, good partner, go, get you to Francis Seacole; bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination these men. Verges And we must do it wisely. Dogberry We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here’s that shall drive some of them to a noncome: only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication and meet me at the gaol. Exeunt. Act IV Scene I

A church.

Enter Don Pedro, Don John, Leonato, Friar Francis, Claudio, Benedick, Hero, Beatrice, and attendants. Leonato Come, Friar Francis, be brief; only to the plain form of marriage, and you shall recount their particular duties afterwards. Friar You come hither, my lord, to marry this lady? Claudio No. Leonato To be married to her: friar, you come to marry her. Friar Lady, you come hither to be married to this count? Hero I do. Friar If either of you know any inward impediment why you should not be conjoined, I charge you, on your souls, to utter it. Claudio Know you any, Hero? Hero None, my lord. Friar Know you any, count? Leonato I dare make his answer, none. Claudio O, what men dare do! what men may do! what men daily do, not knowing what they do! Benedick How now! interjections? Why, then, some be of laughing, as, ah, ha, he! Claudio

Stand thee by, Friar. Father, by your leave:
Will you with free and unconstrained soul
Give me this