The School for Scandal, Richard Brinsley Sheridan [i am reading a book .TXT] 📗

understand you have lately had great dealings with my nephew Charles. Moses Yes, Sir Oliver, I have done all I could for him; but he was ruined before he came to me for assistance. Sir Oliver That was unlucky, truly; for you have had no opportunity of showing your talents. Moses None at all; I hadn’t the pleasure of knowing his distresses till he was some thousands worse than nothing. Sir Oliver Unfortunate, indeed!⁠—But I suppose you have done all in your power for him, honest Moses? Moses Yes, he knows that. — This very evening I was to have brought him a gentleman from the city, who does not know him, and will, I believe, advance him some money. Sir Peter What⁠—one Charles has never had money from before? Moses Yes, Mr. Premium, of Crutched Friars, formerly a broker. Sir Peter Egad, Sir Oliver, a thought strikes me!⁠—Charles, you say, does not know Mr. Premium? Moses Not at all. Sir Peter Now then, Sir Oliver, you may have a better opportunity of satisfying yourself than by an old romancing tale of a poor relation! go with my friend Moses, and represent Premium, and then, I’ll answer for it, you’ll see your nephew in all his glory. Sir Oliver Egad, I like this idea better than the other, and I may visit Joseph afterwards as old Stanley. Sir Peter True⁠—so you may. Rowley Well, this is taking Charles rather at a disadvantage, to be sure. However, Moses, you understand Sir Peter, and will be faithful? Moses You may depend upon me. — Looks at his watch. This is near the time I was to have gone. Sir Oliver I’ll accompany you as soon as you please, Moses But hold! I have forgot one thing⁠—how the plague shall I be able to pass for a Jew? Moses There’s no need⁠—the principal is Christian. Sir Oliver Is he? I’m very sorry to hear it. But, then again, an’t I rather too smartly dressed to look like a moneylender? Sir Peter Not at all: ’t would not be out of character, if you went in your own carriage⁠—would it, Moses? Moses Not in the least. Sir Oliver Well, but how must I talk? there’s certainly some cant of usury and mode of treating that I ought to know. Sir Peter Oh, there’s not much to learn. The great point, as I take it, is to be exorbitant enough in your demands. Hey, Moses? Moses Yes, that’s a very great point. Sir Oliver I’ll answer for ’t I’ll not be wanting in that. I’ll ask him eight or ten percent on the loan, at least. Moses If you ask him no more than that, you’ll be discovered immediately. Sir Oliver Hey!⁠—what the plague⁠—how much then? Moses That depends upon the circumstances. If he appears not very anxious for the supply, you should require only forty or fifty percent; but if you find him in great distress, and want the moneys very bad, you may ask double. Sir Peter A good honest trade you’re learning, Sir Oliver! Sir Oliver Truly, I think so⁠—and not unprofitable. Moses Then, you know, you haven’t the moneys yourself, but are forced to borrow them for him of a friend. Sir Oliver Oh! I borrow it of a friend, do I? Moses And your friend is an unconscionable dog: but you can’t help that. Sir Oliver My friend an unconscionable dog, is he? Moses Yes, and he himself has not the moneys by him, but is forced to sell stock at a great loss. Sir Oliver He is forced to sell stock at a great loss, is he? Well, that’s very kind of him. Sir Peter I’faith, Sir Oliver⁠—Mr. Premium, I mean⁠—you’ll soon be master of the trade. But, Moses! would not you have him run out a little against the Annuity Bill?10 That would be in character, I should think. Moses Very much. Rowley And lament that a young man now must be at years of discretion before he is suffered to ruin himself. Moses Ay, great pity. Sir Peter And abuse the public for allowing merit to an act whose only object is to snatch misfortune and imprudence from the rapacious grip of usury, and give the minor a chance of inheriting his estate without being undone by coming into possession. Sir Oliver So, so⁠—Moses shall give me farther instructions as we go together. Sir Peter You will not have much time, for your nephew lives hard by. Sir Oliver Oh, never fear! my tutor appears so able, that though Charles lived in the next street, it must be my own fault if I am not a complete rogue before I turn the corner. Exit with Moses. Sir Peter So, now, I think Sir Oliver will be convinced: you are partial, Rowley, and would have prepared Charles for the other plot. Rowley No, upon my word, Sir Peter. Sir Peter Well, go bring me this Snake, and I’ll hear what he has to say presently. — I see Maria, and want to speak with her. — Exit Rowley. I should be glad to be convinced my suspicions of Lady Teazle and Charles were unjust. I have never yet opened my mind on this subject to my friend Joseph⁠—I am determined I will do it⁠—he will give me his opinion sincerely. Enter Maria. So, child, has Mr. Surface returned with you? Maria No, sir; he was engaged. Sir Peter Well, Maria, do you not reflect, the more you converse with that amiable young man, what return his partiality for you deserves? Maria Indeed, Sir Peter, your frequent importunity on this subject distresses me extremely⁠—you compel me to declare that I know no man who has ever paid me a particular attention whom I would not prefer to Mr. Surface. Sir Peter So⁠—here’s perverseness!⁠—No, no, Maria, ’tis Charles only whom you would prefer. ’T is evident his vices and follies have won your heart. Maria This is unkind, sir. You know I have obeyed you in neither seeing nor corresponding with him: I have heard enough to convince me that he is unworthy my regard. Yet I cannot think it culpable, if, while my understanding severely condemns his vices, my heart suggests some pity for his distresses. Sir Peter Well, well,