The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling, Henry Fielding [best ereader under 100 TXT] 📗

asked them, “Why they were not in the stable with their horses? If I must eat my hard fare here, madam,” cries she to the landlady, “I beg the kitchen may be kept clear, that I may not be surrounded with all the blackguards in town: as for you, sir,” says she to Partridge, “you look somewhat like a gentleman, and may sit still if you please; I don’t desire to disturb anybody but mob.”

“Yes, yes, madam,” cries Partridge, “I am a gentleman, I do assure you, and I am not so easily to be disturbed. Non semper vox casualis est verbo nominativus.”⁠—This Latin she took to be some affront, and answered, “You may be a gentleman, sir; but you don’t show yourself as one to talk Latin to a woman.” Partridge made a gentle reply, and concluded with more Latin; upon which she tossed up her nose, and contented herself by abusing him with the name of a great scholar.

The supper being now on the table, Mrs. Abigail eat very heartily for so delicate a person; and, while a second course of the same was by her order preparing, she said, “And so, madam, you tell me your house is frequented by people of great quality?”

The landlady answered in the affirmative, saying, “There were a great many very good quality and gentlefolks in it now. There’s young Squire Allworthy, as that gentleman there knows.”

“And pray who is this young gentleman of quality, this young Squire Allworthy?” said Abigail.

“Who should he be,” answered Partridge, “but the son and heir of the great Squire Allworthy, of Somersetshire!”

“Upon my word,” said she, “you tell me strange news; for I know Mr. Allworthy of Somersetshire very well, and I know he hath no son alive.”

The landlady pricked up her ears at this, and Partridge looked a little confounded. However, after a short hesitation, he answered, “Indeed, madam, it is true, everybody doth not know him to be Squire Allworthy’s son; for he was never married to his mother; but his son he certainly is, and will be his heir too, as certainly as his name is Jones.” At that word, Abigail let drop the bacon which she was conveying to her mouth, and cried out, “You surprise me, sir! Is it possible Mr. Jones should be now in the house?”⁠—“Quare non?” answered Partridge, “it is possible, and it is certain.”

Abigail now made haste to finish the remainder of her meal, and then repaired back to her mistress, when the conversation passed which may be read in the next chapter.

V

Showing who the amiable lady, and her unamiable maid, were.

As in the month of June, the damask rose, which chance hath planted among the lilies, with their candid hue mixes his vermilion; or as some playsome heifer in the pleasant month of May diffuses her odoriferous breath over the flowery meadows; or as, in the blooming month of April, the gentle, constant dove, perched on some fair bough, sits meditating on her mate; so, looking a hundred charms and breathing as many sweets, her thoughts being fixed on her Tommy, with a heart as good and innocent as her face was beautiful, Sophia (for it was she herself) lay reclining her lovely head on her hand, when her maid entered the room, and, running directly to the bed, cried, “Madam⁠—madam⁠—who doth your ladyship think is in the house?” Sophia, starting up, cried, “I hope my father hath not overtaken us.”⁠—“No, madam, it is one worth a hundred fathers; Mr. Jones himself is here at this very instant.”⁠—“Mr. Jones!” says Sophia, “it is impossible! I cannot be so fortunate.” Her maid averred the fact, and was presently detached by her mistress to order him to be called; for she said she was resolved to see him immediately.

Mrs. Honour had no sooner left the kitchen in the manner we have before seen than the landlady fell severely upon her. The poor woman had indeed been loading her heart with foul language for some time, and now it scoured out of her mouth, as filth doth from a mud-cart, when the board which confines it is removed. Partridge likewise shovelled in his share of calumny, and (what may surprise the reader) not only bespattered the maid, but attempted to sully the lily-white character of Sophia herself. “Never a barrel the better herring,” cries he, “Noscitur à socio, is a true saying. It must be confessed, indeed, that the lady in the fine garments is the civiller of the two; but I warrant neither of them are a bit better than they should be. A couple of Bath trulls, I’ll answer for them; your quality don’t ride about at this time o’ night without servants.”⁠—“Sbodlikins, and that’s true,” cries the landlady, “you have certainly hit upon the very matter; for quality don’t come into a house without bespeaking a supper, whether they eat or no.”

While they were thus discoursing, Mrs. Honour returned and discharged her commission, by bidding the landlady immediately wake Mr. Jones, and tell him a lady wanted to speak with him. The landlady referred her to Partridge, saying, “he was the squire’s friend: but, for her part, she never called men-folks, especially gentlemen,” and then walked sullenly out of the kitchen. Honour applied herself to Partridge; but he refused, “for my friend,” cries he, “went to bed very late, and he would be very angry to be disturbed so soon.” Mrs. Honour insisted still to have him called, saying, “she was sure, instead of being angry, that he would be to the highest degree delighted when he knew the occasion.”⁠—“Another time, perhaps, he might,” cries Partridge; “but non omnia possumus omnes. One woman is enough at once for a reasonable man.”⁠—“What do you mean by one woman, fellow?” cries Honour.⁠—“None of your fellow,” answered Partridge. He then proceeded to inform her plainly that Jones was in bed with a wench, and made use of an expression too indelicate to be here inserted;