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Philip ordered for themboth.

This gave Carla time tothink. When the waitress had left them alone again, she asked,‘What’s wrong with it, then?’

‘With what?’

‘The kid.’

‘Nothing, it’sfantastic. Look.’ He pulled some photographs out and began to showthem to her.

‘Ugh, put them away!I’m here to eat, aren’t I?’

‘I’d thought you loveto see Porchester again,’ Philip said.

‘Porchester!’ Carlascoffed loud enough to turn some heads.

‘Oh, well, don’t letthat put you off. Change the name. The kid won’t know any better.Like, I had this dog once which my parent’s brought as a puppy froma family who were moving abroad. They originally called it Carbon.Yeah, that almost put me off too. It was all black, you see. But Ipersisted, and within a week it learned to run to me when I calledButch.’

‘Butch?’ Carla queriedwith a faint smile.

Philip frowned. ‘I dowant to help you, Carla.’

Carla leaned forwardand propped her chin on her hands. ‘Then why do you want to doeverything in your power to see your child back in my arms?’

He looked confused.‘Because . . . you really want him back?’

‘Bollocks to that.’

Philip’s jaw wentslack. Then he bleated, ‘But what about the maternal instinct? It’sthe strongest instinct there is.’

‘Which is why I can’tunderstand why Juliet would want to let it go.’

‘Ah, but you see,’Philip went on, eager to explain. ‘Juliet and I are gettingdivorced. Or at least we’re on the downward spiral that leads todivorce. At this stage, I feel he would have a better future withyou. You see? There’s no need to feel guilty about taking him.’

Carla groaned and puther face in her hands. She stared at him through her fingers.‘You’ve got a flipping cheek. I carry the thing and now you expectme to bring the little fucker up.’ She dropped her hands.

Philip leaned forwardand grasped one of them. ‘How about if I pay you as well – to takeit away?’

Carla withdrew herhand. ‘Why are you so desperate to get rid of it?’ Her eyes widenedin alarm. ‘Just what did I give birth to?’

Philip laughed. ‘He’s ahealthy kid. Honest, Carla, you couldn’t wish for better.’

‘Yeah? Then why wouldJuliet let you get rid of it? What happened to her maternalinstinct? Okay, you’re getting divorced, but that doesn’t mean shecan’t keep the kid.’

Philip’s amusementfaded fast. He picked his fork up so that he could twiddlesomething nervously between his fingers.

‘A kid, you know, wouldmake a divorce very messy. Juliet will claim crippling childmaintenance off me. Look, lets say I pay you instead. A one offpayment. How about . . . another five thousand pounds?’ Carla didnot respond. ‘I’ll add five later this year, and five next. You’llhave had fifteen thousand altogether. What do you say?’

‘But then I’ll getlumbered with a kid to bring up. And I don’t want one, even if youwere paying me regular maintenance.’

‘Ah, but you see, youcouldn’t claim maintenance off me,’ Philip said perkily, ‘that’swhat’s so beautiful.’ He eyed the fork, moving around and around inhis fingers and murmured . ‘But don’t worry about bringing it up.Just wait awhile and then sell it for adoption. They’re crying outfor babies in America. You’d get even more money then, wouldn’tyou? Maybe twenty-thousand pounds. Maybe a lot more. I tell you,he’s a great looking kid.’

Carla’s interestquickened. ‘Twenty thou?’

He smiled at her. ‘Ormore. It’d be easier than you think. I’ll even do the research foryou. And as for claiming the kid back off us, don’t worry – youwon’t have to do a thing. I have a lawyer. David Chudhury. He’llwork with you and make sure you get him back. You have to hurrythough, Carla. You have to lodge your claim within the next twoweeks, or under English law you’ll lose your right to take himback. What do you say? You’re looking to make thirty-five thousandpounds altogether. Not bad for no work, eh?’

Carla didn’t feel theneed to answer straight away. She studied Philip for a moment. ‘Youmust really hate Juliet to do something like this to her.’

Philip avoided hereyes. ‘No, I don’t hate her,’ he said. His lean, haughty facetwitched with hurt. ‘I can’t help myself. I’m trapped.’ He scowledat his plate. ‘It’s my fault. I thought marriage would change the .. . way I felt.’ Misery played across his features for a moment,then he looked up at her defiantly. ‘All right, enough’s enough.There are other options. Will you help? Yes or no?’

A silence grew betweenthem. Carla heard the sounds of the restaurant echoing from adistance. ‘Okay then, but only if I get all the money you’reoffering up front. The full ten. That’s my condition.’

‘That’ll be difficult,’Philip said, but he looked relieved.

‘See, it’s no good tome in installments,’ Carla kept drilling, not daring to believe shehad struck oil yet. ‘I need the money straight away to make anydifference. I’ve got a business to sell and I want to start upsomething new.’

‘Okay, okay, letsfucking well talk.’

Gush!

Twelve: Flies on Serena

Spring. Yes, anotherone. And like every year before, Serena was in raptures as she madeher regular appearance at Romance.

‘Oh Carla, theblossom!’

Carla just knew she hadcome direct from a haircut that very morning, and this haircut,much like the previous twelve months, had left her unchanged inevery way. Hence that ineffably self-satisfied smile. Serena’sineffably self-satisfied smile was something else about her whichhad survived all-devouring time. Except . . .

Serena’s ineffablyself-satisfied smile congealed now and slid off her face, like halfa pound of jellied eels.

Carla was smiling backat her!

‘Yes, it is a wonderfulday,’ Carla cried. ‘Absolutely stupendous. It’s the sort of daywhen you’re just glad to be alive, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, it is,’ Serenasaid, sounding like a vacuum cleaner powering down.

Carla had alwayssuspected that her own misery and hopelessness was one of theconstants of Serena’s life. Serena liked life to be constant, evenif it meant Carla had to die unhappy and alone. If Carla didn’t,then Serena would have to rely on her fifty quid haircut and theblossom in spring to bolster her illusion of immortality againstthe onslaught of all-consuming time.

So, as Carla hadanticipated, Serena immediately went on the offensive. ‘Sounds tome like someone’s in love,’ she trilled.

‘Well yes, man hasrecently