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entered my life,’ Carla chirped back.

Serena’s frigid smilewidened. ‘Tall, dark and handsome no doubt.’

‘Well . . . is the Popea Catholic?’

Try as she might,Serena could not interpret this as a negative reply. Instead, shewent with the spirit of the thing and laughed. Carla had neverheard Serena laugh before. ‘And does he have a good job, like thePope?’

‘Well, apart from beingtall, dark and handsome, he’s a partner in a law firm. He’s basedout in Houslow, as it happens.’ Carla could see Serena trying notto swallow this, so she crammed a bit more down her scrawny neck.‘His name is David, David Chudhury. Do you know him? I only askbecause he specialises in divorce.’

Serena glared at her.This rare display of genuine emotion lasted less than a secondbefore Serena was smiling again. But nonetheless, Carla’s heartleapt in triumph.

‘No, my lawyer is basedin New York,’ Serena said, like this was a crashing platitude. ‘Ioften visit there, you see . . . But you didn’t meet David in NewYork did you? Because that would be such a coincidence.’

‘No, we didn’t meet inNew York. It’s difficult for him to get away.’

Serena pounced. ‘Ohdear, he’s not married is he?’

‘Yes he is,’ Carlacountered without hesitation, having prepared for this question‘But they’re splitting up.’

‘Splitting up? Dear,they all say that.’

‘His wife moved outquite some time ago. It’s been almost two years now. Actually, it’sa laugh – a scream, really, but she’s moved next door. So, youcould say a wall has risen up between them.’

Serena acknowledged thejoke with the fleeting ghost of a smile. ‘I’m very happy for you,Carla dear, but I’d better hurry off now, I’m due in Knightsbridgeat twelve.’

‘Shame, I’ve got somegorgeous irises in. They came yesterday.’

‘I do love irises, but,what I want today is – ’ Here it came now and Carla readied herselffor it – Serena’s monthly comprehensive statement of what shethought of Carla and her shop. The statement she had been makingfor years. ‘A can of flyspray, please.’

‘A can offlyspray?’ Carla sang. ‘Well, I do believe there’s a can withyour name on it around here somewhere. A reserve vintage, so tospeak.’ She chuckled to herself as she squatted down behind thecounter. ‘Lets see.’

Serena’s countenancewent cold at this insolence and she turned to one side to study arow of miniature roses on a nearby shelf.

Carla started shiftingaround the tin pots and pans she had put underneath the counter –just to provide good sound effects. The clashing noise soon hadSerena’s temple throbbing. Oh, she was such a sensitivecreature!

All at once, Carlastopped.

Serena turned.

Carla had positionedherself so that her eyes alone appeared over the counter. Like ahippo submerged in a muddy African river.

From this vantage shecould stare right up Serena’s nose.

It didn’t looklike a dud.

‘Carla!’

‘Ready for asurprise?’

‘I beg yourpardon?’

Carla reared up frombehind the counter and banged a can of flyspray down on top of it.Serena gawped. Carla had sellotaped a slip of paper to the can, onwhich she had written Serena’s name. And then, out of sheerexuberance, she had drawn a few orbiting flies.

‘This is Lily of theValley, Serena. I tell you, it sells like hot cakes. My firstbatch was ripped off the shelves in a week. I couldn’t believe it.But anyway, I’ve kept a can back so that you can give it awhirl.’

‘PineFresh.’

‘Yes, yes, I know youswear by Pine Fresh, but Lily of the Valley is the upand coming thing. It’s got the full endorsement of my very best,most discriminating customer – Rupert Nodes. He should know,Serena. He’s an undertaker.’

Serena fixed her withsteely eyed determination. ‘Pine Fresh.’

Carla heaved a sigh.‘Here you are then,’ She took a can of Pine Fresh from under thecounter without even having to bend down.

‘How much?’

‘Tell you what, thiscan’s for free, in gratitude for all your many years of faithfulcustom. But if I were you, I’d get used to Lily of theValley. See, I talk to Eric, the leading flyspray salesman inWest London, and the word is Pine Fresh has had itsday.’

Serena listened tothis, and then opened her purse, took out three pounds and placedthem on the counter. ‘Keep the change, Carla.’ She put the can ofpine fresh in her handbag, straightened its straps on her shoulder,checked the lapels of her coat and was all set to go. Yet forseconds and seconds and seconds nothing else happened. For somereason Serena was still there. Carla gave her a quizzical look, atwhich Serena’s eyes dropped down to the note with her name on itattached to the can of Lily of the Valley.

‘You’re going to takemy name off that, aren’t you?’ Serena asked.

‘Yes, straightaway,’Carla assured her, as if she were already in a flurry to get thejob done. Meanwhile, she didn’t move a muscle.

Serena didn’t move amuscle either.

At last, Carla pickedthe can up with some reluctance and said, ‘I’ll go get thescissors.’ She began to edge away from the counter.

‘Goodbye then,’ Serenasaid, hesitated, then turned and went to the door. But as sheopened it, she glanced back and caught Carla about to put the canunder the counter again. Carla shoved the can under one arm andbegan to root around in an exaggerated fashion.

‘Scissors, scissors,scissors,’ she yodelled, ‘where did you go to after I finished mytoenails?’ She stopped theatrically. ‘I know! Gwynne’s taken themupstairs to cut his hair.’ She turned to Serena and grinned. ‘I’lljust call him.’ But she stopped dead, her face alight withinspiration. ‘Hey, Serena!’ She was excited now. ‘I’ve justthought! Gwynne’s got pretty nifty at cutting his own hair now.What do you say? He could give you a trim . . . and it’ll only costyou a fiver too.’ Not waiting for Serena’s reply, she turned to thedoor behind her and hollered into the house. ‘Gwynne!’

Serena fled.

Thirteen: Airgun Wedding

Manhattan glinted likeold silver in the winter sunshine.

Carla and David dawdledto a stop on the sidewalk and David turned to her, his head framedby Macey’s sparkling window display.

‘Well, Babe, I’ll seeyou at Treski’s,’ he said with a knowing smile.

‘Don’t be late, I’ll bestarving by then.’ Snow flakes began to fill the air between thetower blocks that sailed above them. Carla drew her fur coat