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at all, but right now he found himself wanting to clarifythe situation without delay.

He went over to Carla’sdoor and tapped at it with just one knuckle, the way his hangoverwas telling him to.

‘Yeah?’ The answeringvoice didn’t care about his hangover.

‘Carl.’

‘What?’

‘Carl.’

‘What?’

‘Carl.’

The door was yankedopen. Carla was dressed in a new suit and her face was half madeup. ‘For fuck’s sake, what?’

‘Shush – Louisa.’

Carla glanced down thelanding. ‘What you done to her?’

‘She’s asleep . . .Hey, what you mean?’

‘Oh, nothing,’ shesounded disappointed. ‘Come in then.’

Carla went back to herdressing table and stooped down to examine her face in the mirror.Gwynne followed her in and closed the door after him.

‘Did you say last nightyou’re putting the place up for sale next month?’ He demanded.

‘Yes.’ Carla scowled asshe poked amongst the cosmetics scattered over her table.

‘That doesn’t give memuch time to find somewhere else, does it?’

‘I told you last night,didn’t I? I’ll ask David to help you and Louisa with a mortgage.You’ll have to rent a place for a bit maybe.’

‘Louisa? What’s Louisagot to do with it? I’m the one who’s house is being sold from underhim. Not her.’

Carla seemed not tolisten. ‘She’ll be paying half the mortgage, won’t she?’

‘Nobody’s that fuckingstupid,’ Gwynne said wistfully.

‘That’s what I thought,but there you are.’ Carla picked up a tube of lipstick and lookedat it.

‘Why?’ Gwynne asked,mystified, ‘why would Louisa pay half the mortgage?’

Carla turned to him.‘She can afford it, can’t she? Her dad will help her out. Theysound well off.’

‘They are. But – ’

‘I know what you mean,’she said in all sincerity, ‘I wouldn’t do it myself. But somepeople just go crazy like that when they find out their daughter’sgetting married – ’

‘She’s gettingmarried?’ Gwynne was outraged. ‘Fucking bitch. Who to? Did shesay?’

Carla looked blank andthen gave him a fond smile. ‘Oh, you silly alcoholic you.You asked her.’

‘Bollocks.’

Carla jeered. ‘Finethen, I’m making it up, you fuckwit.’

Gwynne stared at herfor a moment. His brows contracted, thus squeezing his aching brainthat little bit more.

‘I asked her if shewanted to get married?’ He was asking himself as much asanyone.

‘That’s what sheclaimed.’

‘Do you think she wasmaking it up?’

‘I don’t know . . .maybe. But she seemed serious last night. Well, I’m not sure now,come to think of it . . . but still, if she is serious, youhave to go through with it.’

‘I didn’t signanything!’

‘But you want a decentplace to live in, don’t you?’ Carla snapped. ‘With two peoplepaying the mortgage, you’ll be able to afford something nice.’

‘Nice?’ Hequeried with contempt. ‘Fuck it, Romance is nice enough. Whyflog it now?’

Carla leaned backagainst her dressing table and folded her arms. She regarded himwithout emotion as she spoke.

‘I’m seeing Davidtoday. I’ll be signing the contract for the franchise and afterthat I’ve got to get the ball rolling. There’s no reason why Ishouldn’t put the shop on the market next week. Okay?’

‘Fucking hell!’ Gwynneblazed. ‘It’s our inheritance you’re selling. Mom and Dad will bespinning in their graves.’

‘So tell me now.’ Carlakept her voice slow and even. ‘Am I going to ask David to help youand Louisa get a good mortgage deal, or not?’

Gwynne groaned. His oldenemy, thinking, was being really antagonistic today. Hesoon surrendered. ‘Oh . . . go on then.’

Carla stiffened ‘Goon then,’ she mimicked. ‘You always say that. You knowsomething? Eh?’

‘No.’

‘You make me sick.’

‘Really?’ He tried tosound surprised.

‘I mean, you didn’teven have to try, do you? That Louisa just fell right into yourlap.’ Gwynne was about to take this literally when she went on.‘And if it wasn’t her, it’d be someone else. And it’s the same witheverybody else, except me. They don’t even have to raise a finger.They don’t have to think about it twice.’ Her voice trembled withbitterness. ‘It all just happens for them.’

‘What’s this you goingon about now?’ Gwynne shook his head, and then stopped, becauseshaking it hurt.

Carla reddened. ‘Nevermind.’ Her voice was steady again. ‘I’m telling you now, just watchyour mouth with David.’

‘Him? Whatfor?’

‘I’m doing you andLouisa a favour,’ she declared like a true martyr. ‘But,’ she wenton, emphasising every word, ‘ you say one fucking word to him andI’ll break your fucking neck.’

Gwynne was bemused.‘What word?’

Her voice sharpened.‘You lay off him, do you hear?’

‘I don’t follow you,’Gwynne said, pleading ignorance. His surefire excuse.

‘You know I’m seeinghim.’

‘Who?’

‘David, you dozyswine!’

Gwynne jumped at hervehemence. ‘Of course you’re seeing him,’ he said, trying toappease, ‘he’s your financial advisor.’

‘There’s more to itthan that,’ Carla said. ‘A thing’s started.’

‘I know, Carl.That Westhrop guy is paying him to help you out so he can avoidmaintenance when he gets divorced. See, I know.’

‘No, I mean . . . athing. Me and him.’

‘A thing?’ Gwynneexclaimed in genuine amazement. ‘You and him – a thing?’ Theaffront to reality was stunning. ‘You’re joking!’

Carla drew herself up.‘You listen to this,’ she spoke with quiet menace. ‘You spoil thisfor me,’ she pointed to the rifle leaning against the wardrobe,‘And I’ll stick that down your fucking throat. You hear?’

Gwynne followed herstubby pointing finger and was not the least bit surprised at whatshe was going to stick down his throat.

‘I wasn’t going to sayanything,’ he protested, conscious (as so rarely) of his innocence.‘But, look, Carl. I’m serious. Never, ever did it cross my mindabout you and him. See, it doesn’t stack up . . . ’ he backed awayas Carla leaned forward. ‘Come on, seriously, I just don’t getit!’

‘No shit.’ Carlasneered.

Gwynne marshalled histhoughts over the soggy field of his early morning brain.

‘See. Like. He’s. Look. . . once, when he first started coming round here, I was on theloo downstairs and I heard him outside through the window, roundthe side of the house, you know. He was on his mobile, talking tosomeone called Phil.’

‘Westhrop?’

‘Yeah, most likely. Andit sounded like to me they were planning to move in together, andwhen he signed off he said, “Love you loads, honey”. Now me, Ialways reckoned David was a shirt-lifter,’ he raised his hands inself defence, Carla’s expression was terrifying. ‘But if you knowdifferent, Carl, fair enough. And anyway, I promise I’m never,never ever going to say a word to him. I want a good mortgage, likeyou

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