Nomance, T Price [bookreader .TXT] 📗

say. Don’t I? So forget what I’ve said. Go ahead and try andmake it work. Who knows, perhaps he swings both ways. And they goat it like maniacs, don’t they, them gays? There’s always that intheir favour.’ His mouth had got very dry during this marathonspeech and his head was pounding worse than ever. He turned to thedoor and opened it. ‘Sorry, Carl. I can’t talk about it anymore,I’ve got to get an Alka Seltzer.’

And with that he wentout and quietly closed the door after him.

Fifteen: Prince Alarming

Gwynne took his AlkaSeltzer in the kitchen and slumped down at the table, waiting tofeel a little better.

Minutes later, Carlastrode in, looking like thunder. She had applied her lipstick andthe vivid crimson intensified the strong impression that she was onthe verge of committing murder.

Gwynne sighed andhauled himself to his feet. Treading very, very carefully withthese, he set about brewing two mugs of tea. Meanwhile Carlastumped around in dangerous proximity and quite literally threw herbreakfast together.

Gwynne hurried from thekitchen and went upstairs with the tea.

Louisa was sitting upin bed, as wide awake as she ever got, and the tea came as adelightful surprise.

‘Oh, how lovely!’

Gwynne sank into thechair beside the bed.

Swilling some tea roundhis mouth and rinsing it down his gullet, he ventured to say,‘Morning – Mrs Chalcott.’

Louisa didn’t choke oranything. Rather, she gave him an adoring smile.

So, it was true! Theywere getting married!

He had to shake hishead at this funny old world. She was saying something like Andmorning to you, Mr Chalcott, but he less than half listened.Not for the life of him could he remember asking for her hand inmarriage. However, what made his skin prickle now was thepossibility he’d been so drunk last night that he had gone down onone knee in the pub. There was a chance, therefore, he would neverbe able to go to the Slug and Lettuce ever again.

‘What’s the matter,lover?’ Louisa was asking.

Gwynne came back to thehere-and-now. ‘Sorry love, I’m just creased, that’s all.’

‘What does that mean,sweetness?’

‘Oh, that I’m wellknackered, dear.’

‘Well, sugar, perhapsyou shouldn’t drink quite so much.’

‘Too right,’ Gwynneagreed. ‘I’m going to be a lot more careful in the future –honest.’

Louisa gave him herwarmest smile. ‘Good.’

‘Anyway, we’ve got tostart saving now . . . by the way, your mom and dad are supposed topay for the wedding aren’t they?’

‘That’s the tradition,lover.’

‘I only ask because,you know, Carla’s going to be strapped for cash and as for me –’

‘Don’t worry about it,Gwynne,’ Louisa said with a soothing caress across his feveredbrow, ‘I’m their only daughter and my wedding day is somethingthey’ve been dreaming about for years and years. Especially Mummy.They’ll want it to be as memorable as possible.’

Once again, Gwynne hadto marvel at this sudden turn of events. It was amazing that hecould get away with such a massive rip off.

‘Yeah, we’ll have tovideo it, all right.’

‘Gwynne,’ Louisa saidwith concern. ‘You look worried. You’re not getting nervous aboutit, are you?’

‘Hmm? Nah, I’ll beokay,’ Gwynne assured her. However, he knew by experience thatLouisa did not shift gear all that fast and he was not surprised tosee, therefore, that she remained pensive.

She heaved an unsettledsigh, ‘Gwynne.’

‘Yup?’

‘You know, Mummy andDaddy . . . they may seem a trifle tense when you first get to knowthem.’

‘You’re saying they’llbe upset about me, aren’t you?’

‘I suppose . . . butyou shouldn’t blame them, sweetness. You see, they’ve been hopingall along that I’ll marry Prince Charming instead.’

‘Who’s he?’ Gwynnescowled.

‘Oh, the director ofhis own company, I expect. Or a barrister, or someone who went toSandhurst. But you see,’ her voice went breathy with earnestness,‘love just doesn’t work like that. Sometimes it takes you totallyby surprise.’

‘Damn right.’

Louisa’s chestballooned at this vehement affirmation of the power of love.

‘But they’ll see thetrue Gwynne soon enough.’

Gwynne fought animpulse to look over his shoulder. But an instant later he workedout who she was talking about.

Him.

Only she couldn’t meanhim, not really. Lou might be dim, but she wasn’t insane. And thatfact led to the inescapable conclusion that he must have told her apack of lies about himself down the pub. Maybe something along thelines of blackmailing his employers for millions – his all-timefavourite dream. He debated with himself whether he could maintainthe illusion, at least till she and her parents had paid off themortgage.

He sagged in his chair.No, he couldn’t maintain the illusion for one second longer.

‘Thing is, Lou, I ain’tin line for a monster pay off from EasyHomes to keep mymouth shut.’

Instead of throwing hertea into his face Louisa said, ‘Yes, but what Mummy and Daddy haveto understand is you’re a fighter. You’re going to work your way upfrom the bottom to the top.’

Gwynne was joltedupright in his chair. These words brought it all tumbling back. Therecollection of what happened last night stunned him for severalseconds. He’d been drinking, that was for sure, and he’d been infull flow, and yet, and yet . . . he hadn’t beenbullshitting!

‘It’s true,’ he said inawe of himself, ‘what I was saying was true.’

‘Of course it was,dear.’

‘I’m in line foranother promotion at the EasyHomes Superstore,’ he said,pausing to check yet again that it hadn’t happened to someone elseinstead. No, it had to be him, otherwise he’d know the name of theother guy, the one it had really happened to instead, wouldn’t he?‘And anyway,’ he continued, ‘Tim, the area manager for West London,said I should do the accountancy course because they’re paying forit, and the thing is, accountancy is just a kind of stock-taking,and believe me, I’m red hot at stock taking.’ He shook his head,dazed. ‘That’s true too.’

‘You’ll show Mummy andDaddy, won’t you?’

Gwynne’s convictiongathered impetus.

‘Hey, accountancy mightnot seem as bitching as aeroplane design, but look at Enron.Accountants make things happen too, you know.’

Louisa gave him anadoring smile. ‘My little genius.’

He was going to marryher after all!

‘Fully rested,darling?’ He murmured softly – for the first time in his life. ‘Doyou want to lie in?’

‘No, no, I’ve got toget started.’

‘Okay, I’ll shoot downand rustle up some brecky.’

He went downstairs.

In the hallway hepaused at the living room door on his way to the