Arms and the Man, George Bernard Shaw [comprehension books txt] 📗

that I did, sir. Petkoff I know that, you idiot. Was it true? Nicola I am sure Miss Raina is incapable of saying anything that is not true, sir. Petkoff Are you? Then I’m not. Turning to the others. Come: do you think I don’t see it all? Goes to Sergius, and slaps him on the shoulder. Sergius: you’re the chocolate cream soldier, aren’t you? Sergius Starting up. I! a chocolate cream soldier! Certainly not. Petkoff Not! He looks at them. They are all very serious and very conscious. Do you mean to tell me that Raina sends photographic souvenirs to other men? Sergius Enigmatically. The world is not such an innocent place as we used to think, Petkoff. Bluntschli Rising. It’s all right, Major. I’m the chocolate cream soldier. Petkoff and Sergius are equally astonished. The gracious young lady saved my life by giving me chocolate creams when I was starving⁠—shall I ever forget their flavour! My late friend Stolz told you the story at Peerot. I was the fugitive. Petkoff You! He gasps. Sergius: do you remember how those two women went on this morning when we mentioned it? Sergius smiles cynically. Petkoff confronts Raina severely. You’re a nice young woman, aren’t you? Raina Bitterly. Major Saranoff has changed his mind. And when I wrote that on the photograph, I did not know that Captain Bluntschli was married. Bluntschli Much startled protesting vehemently. I’m not married. Raina With deep reproach. You said you were. Bluntschli I did not. I positively did not. I never was married in my life. Petkoff Exasperated. Raina: will you kindly inform me, if I am not asking too much, which gentleman you are engaged to? Raina To neither of them. This young lady Introducing Louka, who faces them all proudly, is the object of Major Saranoff’s affections at present. Petkoff Louka! Are you mad, Sergius? Why, this girl’s engaged to Nicola. Nicola Coming forward. I beg your pardon, sir. There is a mistake. Louka is not engaged to me. Petkoff Not engaged to you, you scoundrel! Why, you had twenty-five levas from me on the day of your betrothal; and she had that gilt bracelet from Miss Raina. Nicola With cool unction. We gave it out so, sir. But it was only to give Louka protection. She had a soul above her station; and I have been no more than her confidential servant. I intend, as you know, sir, to set up a shop later on in Sofia; and I look forward to her custom and recommendation should she marry into the nobility. He goes out with impressive discretion, leaving them all staring after him. Petkoff Breaking the silence. Well, I am⁠—hm! Sergius This is either the finest heroism or the most crawling baseness. Which is it, Bluntschli? Bluntschli Never mind whether it’s heroism or baseness. Nicola’s the ablest man I’ve met in Bulgaria. I’ll make him manager of a hotel if he can speak French and German. Louka Suddenly breaking out at Sergius. I have been insulted by everyone here. You set them the example. You owe me an apology. Sergius immediately, like a repeating clock of which the spring has been touched, begins to fold his arms. Bluntschli Before he can speak. It’s no use. He never apologizes. Louka Not to you, his equal and his enemy. To me, his poor servant, he will not refuse to apologize. Sergius Approvingly. You are right. He bends his knee in his grandest manner. Forgive me! Louka I forgive you. She timidly gives him her hand, which he kisses. That touch makes me your affianced wife. Sergius Springing up. Ah, I forgot that! Louka Coldly. You can withdraw if you like. Sergius Withdraw! Never! You belong to me! He puts his arm about her and draws her to him. Catherine comes in and finds Louka in Sergius’s arms, and all the rest gazing at them in bewildered astonishment. Catherine What does this mean? Sergius releases Louka. Petkoff Well, my dear, it appears that Sergius is going to marry Louka instead of Raina. She is about to break out indignantly at him: he stops her by exclaiming testily. Don’t blame me: I’ve nothing to do with it. He retreats to the stove. Catherine Marry Louka! Sergius: you are bound by your word to us! Sergius Folding his arms. Nothing binds me. Bluntschli Much pleased by this piece of common sense. Saranoff: your hand. My congratulations. These heroics of yours have their practical side after all. To Louka. Gracious young lady: the best wishes of a good Republican! He kisses her hand, to Raina’s great disgust. Catherine Threateningly. Louka: you have been telling stories. Louka I have done Raina no harm. Catherine Haughtily. Raina! Raina is equally indignant at the liberty. Louka I have a right to call her Raina: she calls me Louka. I told Major Saranoff she would never marry him if the Swiss gentleman came back. Bluntschli Surprised. Hallo! Louka Turning to Raina. I thought you were fonder of him than of Sergius. You know best whether I was right. Bluntschli What nonsense! I assure you, my dear Major, my dear Madame, the gracious young lady simply saved my life, nothing else. She never cared two straws for me. Why, bless my heart and soul, look at the young lady and look at me. She, rich, young, beautiful, with her imagination full of fairy princes and noble natures and cavalry charges and goodness knows what! And I, a commonplace Swiss soldier who hardly knows what a decent life is after fifteen years of barracks and battles⁠—a vagabond⁠—a man who has spoiled all his chances in life through an incurably romantic disposition⁠—a man⁠— Sergius Starting as if a needle had pricked him and interrupting Bluntschli in incredulous amazement. Excuse me, Bluntschli: what did you say had spoiled your chances in life? Bluntschli Promptly. An incurably romantic disposition.