Mr. Darcy's Diary, Amanda Grange [elon musk reading list TXT] 📗

men.’

‘She did,’ he admitted, ‘but I thought that was just

because it would have been rude to refuse.’

‘Perhaps it would have been rude of her to refuse

you.’

‘You think she only danced with me to be polite?’ he

asked in consternation.

‘I would not go so far. I think she enjoyed dancing

with you, and talking to you, and flirting with you. But

I think she enjoyed it no more than with other men, and

now that you are not in Hertfordshire – ’

‘I must go back,’ he said, standing up. ‘I knew it.’

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‘But if she is indifferent, you will only give yourself

pain.’

‘If she is indifferent.You do not know that she is.’

‘No, I do not know it, but I observed her closely, and

I could see no sign of particular regard.’

‘You observed her?’ he asked in surprise.

‘Your singling her out was beginning to attract attention. Others had noticed besides myself. If it had been

gone on much longer, you would have been obliged to

have made her an offer.’

‘I would have liked to have made her an offer,’ he corrected me, then faltered. ‘Do you think she would have

accepted?’

‘Of course. It would have been a good match for her.

You have a considerable income, and a beautiful house.

She would have been settled near her family.There is no

question of her refusing. But should you like to be married for those reasons?’

He looked doubtful.

‘I would rather be married for myself,’ he conceded.

‘And so you will be, one day.’

He sat down again.

‘She was too good for me,’ he said morosely.

‘Hardly that, but if her affections are not engaged,

what is the point of marriage? You will meet another

girl, as sweet as Miss Bennet, but one who can return

your feelings in full measure. London is full of young

ladies.’

‘But I have no interest in other young ladies.’

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‘In time, you will have.’

Bingley said nothing, but I was easy in my mind. He

will have forgotten her before the winter is over.

I am pleased he has expressed a desire to see Georgiana again. He has known her very much longer than

he has known Miss Bennet, and a new acquaintance cannot be expected to hold the same place in his affections

as an old, particularly when he sees how much Georgiana has grown.The match would be welcome on both

sides, and I flatter myself that it would be a happy one.

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December

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Thursday 5th December

Bingley came to dine with me today. He has been busy

this last week, but he arrived punctually this evening and

was very much taken with Georgiana.

‘She is turning into a beauty,’ he said to me. ‘And she

is so accomplished,’ he added, when she played for us

after dinner.

She is. I had almost forgotten what it is to listen to

excellent playing, and I could not help an inward shudder

when I thought of Mary Bennet’s playing and compared

it to Georgiana’s. Elizabeth’s playing was sweet, it is true,

though it was not so accomplished as my sister’s, but there

was still a quality about it that made me want to listen.

Friday 6th December

Caroline called to see Georgiana this morning, and I

entertained her until my sister’s music lesson was over.

‘Charles was very taken with Georgiana last night,’ she

remarked. ‘He said that Georgiana was one of the most

beautiful and accomplished young women of his

acquaintance.’

I was well pleased. Caroline seemed pleased, too. I

think she would not be averse to a marriage between

them.

‘Are you going to visit your aunt in Kent before

Christmas?’ she asked.

‘No, I think not, though I will probably visit her at

Easter.’

‘Dear Lady Catherine,’ said Caroline, removing her

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gloves. ‘How I long to meet her. Rosings is a fine house,

by all accounts.’

‘Yes, it is, very fine indeed.’

‘Such a pleasant part of the country.’

‘It is.’

‘I suggested to Charles that he should look for a house

there. I would be happy to live in Kent. But he felt Hertfordshire was better placed.A pity. He would have avoided

certain entanglements if he had settled elsewhere.’

‘He is free of them now, however.’

‘Yes, thanks to your intervention. He is lucky to have

such a friend. I would find it a great comfort to know

that such a friend was looking after me,’ she said, looking

up at me.

‘You have your brother.’

She smiled. ‘Of course, but Charles is still a boy. One

does so need a man at times, someone of depth and

maturity, who is used to the ways of the world and

knows how to live in it.’

‘Have you no plans to marry?’

‘I would, if I met the right gentleman.’

‘Now that you are in London you will have more

chance of meeting people. Bingley means to arrange

some balls, I know. I have encouraged it.The more pretty

faces he sees over the next few weeks the better. And for

you, it will extend your social circle.’

‘It is not so very constrained.We dine with more than

four-and-twenty families, you know,’ she remarked satirically.

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I was reminded of the Bennets, as she intended I

should be, but if she knew the exact form of my thoughts

I doubt she would have been so pleased. No matter what

I do, every conversation seems to remind me of them in

some fashion. It is fortunate that I have stopped thinking

about Elizabeth, otherwise the Bennets would never be

out of my mind.

Saturday 7th December

Bingley occupies himself with business and is in good spirits, though now and then I catch a wistful look in his eye.

‘You are sure she felt nothing for me?’ he asked this

evening, when the ladies had withdrawn after dinner.

I did not need to ask whom he meant.

‘I am sure of it.