Mr. Darcy's Diary, Amanda Grange [elon musk reading list TXT] 📗

Perhaps I should be pleased. It will give

me the perfect opportunity to demonstrate that she no

longer has any hold over me. It will be a delight to me

to know that I can meet her in company without any

improper feelings, and I will be able to congratulate

myself on having saved myself, as well as Bingley, from a

most imprudent attachment.

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April

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A M A N D A G R A N G E

Thursday 3rd April

I dined with Colonel Fitzwilliam at my club today. We

have decided that we will travel to Rosings together.

Monday 7th April

My cousin and I had an enjoyable journey into Kent, and

after generalities the conversation turned to marriage

again.

‘I am of an age now when I feel I should be settled,

and yet marriage is a dangerous venture,’ he said. ‘It is

so easy to make a false step and then be forced to live

with it.’

‘It is,’ I agreed, thinking of Bingley. ‘I have recently

saved one of my friends from just such a false step.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. He took a house in the country, where he met a

young lady of low connections. He was much taken with

her, but fortunately business compelled him to return to

London for a time. Perceiving his danger, his sisters and

I followed him to London and persuaded him to remain.’

‘Then you have saved him from a most imprudent

marriage.’

‘I have.’

‘He will thank you for it when it has done. It is not

pleasant to wake from a dream and find oneself trapped

in a nightmare.’

I am heartened by his opinion. I respect his judgement, and it is reassuring to know that he feels as I do on

the matter.

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We arrived at Rosings this afternoon, and the beauty

of the park struck me anew. It is not as fine as Pemberley, but it looks very well in the spring. We passed Mr

Collins on our way to the house, and I believe he had

been looking for us. He bowed as we passed, and then

hurried off in the direction of the parsonage to share the

news with its inmates. I found myself wondering if Elizabeth was within doors, and how she would feel at the

news of our arrival.

Tuesday 8th April

Mr Collins called this morning to pay his respects. He

found me with Colonel Fitzwilliam. My aunt was taking

a drive with my cousin, Anne.

‘Mr Darcy, it is an honour to meet you again. I had the

good fortune to make your acquaintance in Hertfordshire,

when I was staying with my fair cousins. I was not married

then, as my dear Charlotte had not yet consented to be my

wife. From the first moment I saw her I knew she would

not disgrace the parsonage at Hunsford, and would delight

my esteemed patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, who

has the honour and distinction of being your most revered

aunt, with her humility and sympathy. Indeed, Lady

Catherine herself was kind enough to say – ’

‘Are you returning to the parsonage?’ I asked, cutting

short his effusions.

He paused momentarily, then said, ‘Indeed I am.’

‘It is a fine morning.We will walk with you.What do

you say?’ I asked Colonel Fitzwilliam.

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A M A N D A G R A N G E

‘By all means.’

We set out. Mr Collins recounted the beauties of the

park to us, interspersed with expressions of humble gratitude for our condescension in visiting his poor home. I

found my mind wandering. Would Elizabeth have

changed since the autumn? Would she be surprised to see

me? No. She knew of my visit. Would she be pleased or

otherwise? Pleased, of course. To reacquaint herself with

a man of my standing must be desirable for her.

Our arrival was announced by the door-bell, and

shortly afterwards we entered the room. I paid my compliments to Mrs Collins, and she bade me welcome. Elizabeth dropped a curtsy.

She is much as she ever was, but the pleasure I experienced on seeing her took me by surprise. I thought I

had conquered my feelings for her, and of course, I have.

It was just that the first instant of seeing her took me

aback.

‘The house is to your liking, I hope?’ I asked Mrs

Collins.

‘Yes, indeed it is,’ she said.

‘I am glad. My aunt has made some improvements of

late, I know. And the garden? Do you like the aspect?’

‘It is very pleasant.’

‘Good.’

I would have said more, but I found my attention

straying to Elizabeth. She was conversing with Colonel

Fitzwilliam in her usual free and easy manner. I could not

decide whether I liked it or not. She was at liberty to talk

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to my cousin, of course, and to charm him if she would,

but I felt dissatisfied to see how much he enjoyed her

company, and even worse, to see how much she enjoyed

his. At length I realized I was lost in my thoughts, and I

made an effort to be civil.

‘Your family are well, I hope, Miss Bennet?’ I asked.

‘Yes, thank you,’ she replied. She paused, then said,‘My

sister Jane has been in town these three months. Have

you never happened to see her?’

I was disconcerted, but I replied calmly enough.

‘No, I have not been so fortunate.’

I relapsed into silence, dissatisfied with the turn the

conversation had taken, and soon afterwards my cousin

and I took our leave.

Easter Day, Sunday 13th April

I had seen nothing of Elizabeth since my visit to the parsonage, but I saw her this morning at church. She was

looking very well. The early sun had put colour in her

cheeks, and brightened her eyes.

After the service, Lady Catherine stopped to speak to

the Collinses. Mr Collins beamed as she walked towards

him.

‘Your sermon was too long,’ said Lady Catherine.

‘Twenty minutes is ample time in which to instruct your

flock.’

‘Yes, Lady Catherine, I – ’

‘You made no mention of sobriety. You should have

done.There has been too much drunkenness of late. It is

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