Mr. Darcy's Diary, Amanda Grange [elon musk reading list TXT] 📗

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a rector’s business to tend to the body of his parishioners

as well as their souls.’

‘Of course, Lady – ’

‘There were too many hymns. I do not like to have

above three hymns in an Easter service. I am very musical and singing is my joy, but three hymns are enough.’

She began to walk to the carriage, and Mr Collins followed her.

‘Yes, Lady Catherine, I – ’

‘One of the pews has woodworm. I noticed it as I

walked past.You will see to it.’

‘At once, Lady – ’ he said.

‘And you will come to dinner with us tonight. Mrs

Collins will come with you, as will Miss Lucas and Miss

Elizabeth Bennet.We will make up a card-table.’

‘So good – ’ he said, bowing and rubbing his hands

together.

‘I will send the carriage for you.’

I followed her into the carriage and the footman

closed the door.

I found myself looking forward to Elizabeth’s arrival

at Rosings, but quickly crushed the feeling.

Her party arrived punctually, and because I knew the

danger of speaking to her, I passed the time in conversation with my aunt.We talked of our various relations, but

I could not help my eyes straying to Elizabeth. Her conversation was of a more lively kind. She was speaking to

Colonel Fitzwilliam, and as I saw the animation of her

features, I found it hard to take my eyes away.

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My aunt, too, kept looking towards them, until at last

she said: ‘What is it you are talking of? What are you

telling Miss Bennet? Let me hear what it is.’

Colonel Fitzwilliam replied that they were speaking

of music. My aunt joined in the conversation, praising

Georgiana’s abilities on the pianoforte, then mortifying

me by inviting Elizabeth to practise on the pianoforte in

Mrs Jenkinson’s room. To invite a guest to play on the

pianoforte in the companion’s room? I had not thought

my aunt could be so ill-bred.

Elizabeth looked surprised, but said nothing, only her

smile showing what she thought.

When coffee was over, Elizabeth began to play, and

remembering the pleasure I had had in her playing

before, I walked over to her side. Her eyes were brightened by the music, and I placed myself in a position from

which I could see the play of emotion over her countenance.

She noticed.At the first pause in the music she turned

to me with a smile and said: ‘You mean to frighten me,

Mr Darcy, by coming in all this state to hear me. But I

will not be alarmed, though your sister does play so well.

There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to

be frightened at the will of others. My courage always

rises with every attempt to intimidate me.’

‘I shall not say you are mistaken,’ I replied, ‘because

you could not really believe me to entertain any design

of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your

acquaintance long enough to know that you find great

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enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in

fact are not your own.’

Where this speech came from I do not know. I am not

used to making playful exchanges, but there is something

in Elizabeth’s character which lightens mine.

Elizabeth laughed heartily, and I smiled, knowing that

we were both enjoying the exchange. So well was I

enjoying it that I forgot my caution and gave myself over

to an appreciation of the moment.

‘Your cousin will give you a very pretty notion of me,’

she said to Colonel Fitzwilliam.Turning to me, she said:

‘It is very ungenerous of you to mention all that you

knew to my disadvantage in Hertfordshire – and, give me

leave to say, very impolitic too – for it is provoking me

to retaliate, and such things may come out, as will shock

your relations to hear.’

I smiled. ‘I am not afraid of you.’

Her eyes brightened at my remark.

Colonel Fitzwilliam begged to be told how I behave

amongst strangers.

‘You shall hear all then,’ said Elizabeth. ‘But prepare

yourself for something very dreadful.The first time of my

ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at

a ball – and at this ball, what do you think he did? He

danced only four dances!’

In her eyes, my refusal to dance became ridiculous,

and I saw it so myself, for the first time. To stride about

in all my pride, instead of enjoying myself as any wellregulated man would have done. Absurd! I would not

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ordinarily have tolerated any such teasing, and yet there

was something in her manner that removed any sting,

and instead made it a cause for laughter.

It was at this moment I realized there had been little

laughter in my life of late. I had taken on the responsibilities of a man when my father died, and had prided

myself on discharging them well, as my father would

have done. I had tended my estate, looked to the welfare

of my tenants, provided for my sister’s health, happiness

and education, seen to the livings in my patronage and

discharged my business faithfully. Until meeting Elizabeth that had been enough, but now I saw how dull my

life had been. It had been too ordered. Too wellregulated. Only now did I begin to see it, and to feel it,

for the feelings inside me were wholly different from any

I had known.When I laughed, my disposition lightened.

‘I had not at that time the honour of knowing any

lady in the assembly beyond my own party,’ I pointed

out, catching her tone.

‘True: and nobody can ever be introduced in a ballroom.’

‘Perhaps I should have judged better, had I sought an

introduction, but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself

to strangers.’

She teased me, wondering how it was that a man of

sense and education could not do so, and Colonel

Fitzwilliam joined her, saying I would not give myself

the trouble.

‘I certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those I have never seen

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