Lighthouse Cove (South Carolina Sunsets Book 7), Rachel Hanna [best smutty novels txt] 📗

“Did something else happen with William?”

“Well… Yes.”

“Then by all means, come on in. I was about to heat up some spaghetti I made last night. Hungry?”

“Actually, yes I am hungry. I didn’t exactly get to eat lunch today.”

“No? Why is that?”

She put the key in the door and allowed Janine inside. She pointed at the breakfast bar for Janine to sit down as she went to the refrigerator to retrieve the spaghetti and the now too soggy garlic bread. Maybe if she threw it in the toaster, she could get it to crisp up again.

“So, William took me for a romantic picnic by the ocean today.”

“Wow. He’s Mr. Romance lately. So why didn’t you eat lunch then? Too much romance going on?” Emma said, winking.

“No. A tourist came running through saying that her dog was missing, so I felt like we needed to spend the time to help her. Ended up barely making it back in time to teach my class and only having a few bites of food for lunch.”

“I imagine William was not happy about that?”

“You imagine right. I got the feeling that he might be popping the question again. But I could be totally wrong and overthinking this. Maybe he’s just trying to do something romantic, but he’s not actually going to ask me.”

“Have you ever thought about flipping the tables and asking him instead?”

Janine pondered that for a moment. “I’ve thought about it, but I guess I’m too traditionally southern. I just feel like the man should ask.”

“I have to agree with you there. Some things are just set in stone for me.”

“Listen, I didn’t actually come here to talk to you about William and me.”

Emma finished doling the spaghetti out onto plates and put them into the microwave to heat up. Then, she popped the garlic bread into the toaster.

“Oh yeah? What’s up?”

“I don’t know how to say this exactly… I’ve been trying to figure it out the whole time I was waiting for you to come out of the lighthouse.”

“Now you’re starting to scare me a little bit.”

“Emma, I know.”

“You know what?”

“I know what happened.”

“Janine, you’re gonna have to be a little more specific. You know what happened? What does that mean?”

Janine blew out a long breath. “I know that you were a police officer and that you were in an officer involved shooting.”

Emma was holding the dirty serving spoon in her hand, covered with tomato sauce. She immediately dropped it, causing a loud clanging sound on the tile floor in the kitchen. It felt like all of the blood had drained from her face, and there was a really distinct possibility that she might just pass out. She had only done that once in her life, so she knew exactly what it felt like. So she braced herself against the counter, her hands gripping the granite. She could see the blood leaving her fingers as they looked white from holding onto the countertop so hard.

“Are you okay?” Janine said, immediately realizing something was wrong. She jumped up and put her arm around Emma’s waist. “Why don’t we sit down?”

They walked over to the dining table and Emma slowly slid down into one of the chairs. She had figured at some point someone would know who she was, but this wasn’t the reaction she expected from herself. She had been in so many adrenaline inducing situations in her career that she should’ve been able to handle any kind of stress, but right now she felt like she could be knocked over with a feather.

“How did you find out?” she asked, softly.

“Colleen saw it on a true crime documentary last night. She came and told me, but she hasn’t told anyone else and she won’t. We are the only two people who know.”

“Oh my gosh. I can’t get away from it! It’s on a documentary? Why can’t I get away from this?”

She stood up and started pacing back-and-forth in the kitchen like a wild animal.

“Why don’t you sit back down? I don’t think you should be…”

“Do you know what it was like? How hard it was to stay in that town after it happened? Everybody looked at me differently. Everybody judged me.”

“I’m sure that wasn’t true, Emma. You did the right thing. It sounds like he would’ve killed you or someone else if you hadn’t done what you did.”

“I could’ve shot him in the leg or tackled him or done literally anything else…”

“You can’t second-guess yourself! I know police officers, and I know what kind of training you go through. You have to make split-second decisions that the rest of us can’t even imagine. And it’s just the luck of the draw who ends up having to make those decisions in the field. You did the right thing. Otherwise you would’ve been in trouble or lost your job, but everybody knows that you protected yourself and your community.”

She sat down and put her head in her hands. “I thought I could start over here, but this is going to follow me forever. I’ll always be known as the cop who killed somebody.”

“A lot of cops are in that club, unfortunately. It’s part of the job.”

“You know, I never really wanted to be a police officer. I was running from something then and I ran straight into that. And if I hadn’t made the decision to become an officer, I wouldn’t be feeling like this right now.”

“Emma, I can’t pretend to understand what you’re going through, but have you gotten any counseling?”

She laughed under her breath. “What counselor is going to understand what I’m going through?”

“I don’t think it’s about someone understanding what you’re going through. I think it’s about helping you learn how to accept what you’ve gone through and forgive yourself.”

She sat there for a moment quietly thinking about what Janine had said. She couldn’t keep going on like this, that much was for sure. It was exhausting trying to hide who she was all the time. She felt like